why
the one person i really thought understood me, liked me, was there for me, is gone. late last year i finally met someone that i actually had a good connection with. we were both in disastrous situations in our lives and while we did bond over these common issues, we also just clicked so well. same sense of humor, same energy, we just clicked, you know. he brought so much joy into my life and i am awful at socializing so it was nice to be talking to people again.
and once again i was too naive to see that he just used me. he just wanted to use me to help him through a heartbreak and some other rough feelings, and then he ghosted me. last we spoke, i asked him how he’d been, he said he’d been going out with someone and made some new friends, didn’t ask anything at all about me so it really felt more like i just gave an interview. we went from talking every single night to nothing.
for some context, i had not spoken to a single person in months. this was the first time in years i thought i had made a real friend. i could relate so much to him but forget it. i was wrong yet again and left all alone. i know this is just life’s cruel awful way of telling me that i need to take care of myself for once and that no one will save me, but why is it that i am literally always willing to help out someone but when i’m in deep s*** everyone and everything around me disappears?
i care so deeply that i always wind up finding myself in situations where it seems like i have not done a single good thing for myself but i’ve helped everyone around me. but i’m not a cold and careless person, i can’t force myself to become that way and stop worrying about people around me.
to this dude that i actually thought was pretty cool, i miss you even if you couldn’t care less about me. i’ve already become used to the isolation again, i’ve already found good distractions, but man did it feel good to be heard again.
Such behavior is all too common these days...sorry to say so but it's the truth.
It's not like people didn't suck before--humans of real worth are often hard to find--but the Internet has changed modern society itself. Now people feel more free to say & do what they really want, since they're miles away from who they're communicating with & safely tucked behind a screen. Anonymity makes it easier, too.
All I can say is you gotta sift through plenty of chaff before you find a few grains of wheat...& maybe a polished gem, if you're lucky.
@slowdecline48 Thanks for your comment! Yeah, that's the ugly truth nowadays. It's sad how normalized and even unsurprising it has become for people to use you and make you think that they're really there for you. I have no idea how anyone can trust others lol.
I'm in a similar situation and really just need someone that can be a consistent friend. Just being able to share with another person means a lot. But I don't make friends easily because trusting is hard and sharing harder when you expect to be ghosted eventually. Feel free to reach out, maybe there is friendship as a possibility.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but honestly it’s his loss..you did nothing wrong here, it even seems like you were an wonderful friend to him, so I know it might be hard being “alone” but I promise you, you will find someone who make you happy again one day, and maybe that person is yourself, because don’t forget you’re the one person that will be there for yourself no matter what
@OhP aw you're right, I'm always going to be here for myself and that means I'm never really alone, I guess. It's a beautiful experience when you feel peaceful and whole even when you're all alone.
I must say I did leave out some important info from my post that might explain his sudden distance.. I actually found out that he started to get a crush on me, and while he shared his feelings with me, I told him I wasn't really into him like that cause we hadn't been talking for that long and I didn't feel anything for him except for a platonic connection. We were still talking somewhat normally after that, he did become distant for like a couple of weeks, but after a while he said he had already gotten over it, and we were talking again normally as friends for some time. Then the calls started getting shorter and a lot less frequent. He only gave a heart reaction to the last text I sent him and never replied.
I want to see how he is so I wanted to reach out again. Is it wrong if I say something to him again? And honestly, after I poured out my feelings while writing this, I realized maybe I also had felt something for him, like more than a friend. I don't really know, but I'm trying to go with my gut and it's pointing towards there most likely being some romantic feelings. Now my dilemma is I don't know if it's right or wrong of me to say this if I even get the chance to or just keep it all to myself.
I can totally relate to this with my ex, I truly did think he was different. We always had such a good time, and then I found out he was cheating the entire time.
I feel so shattered, I think back to all the good times where I felt comfortable and safe with him and then just think back to all the texts and things I saw. I can understand why he would do that or how I can move on.
I am struggling to keep no contact because I felt like he was so important to me. I would love to be your friend or just chat sometime if you’re feeling lonely too.
i’m so sorry your ex did that to you. i will never understand how some people think it’s that easy to lie to someone and for so long, that's extremely traumatic, i wish you plenty of healing and love.
it’s really a huge letdown to feel like you found a home in someone and so quickly that person can change and it all feels so different and wrong. we’re grieving but we’ll heal with time, i’m sure of it. and yes, i would love to chat more as well !!
@peaceandblessings I guess you need to vent out more? My pm is open..
Hope everything gets good soon.. I think you have bottled up so many things and need someone to vent to
I am so sorry. I understand exactly where you’re coming from because I was in the same place not that long ago. I know it can be very difficult when you have someone in your life that brings you so much joy and then all of a sudden they’re gone. I hear that you say you feel like you have been used. Is there other way you could look at this? For me, I realized that it was just one chapter in the story of my life and in the future to not to let my happiness rely on something/someone that I may lose. You said that you felt like you you haven’t done anything good for yourself. Instead, you help everyone around you. What are some things that you do that make you feel happy and at peace? Do you think doing these things could help the way you feel?
