unbiased opinion on my friend
i have been friends with this girl for two years now. we've become friends due to a need of wanting someone as a support and that has resulted in this weird co-dependent friendship which my significant other (s/o) also finds weird. this friendship has been a cause of stress for me constantly and we tend to fight (pretty badly) every month. ive gotten anxiety panic attacks and been depressed because of her. i've talked to her about how i feel but somehow the conversation always shifts and ends up with me not being able to communicate my thoughts because of confusion and us “patching things up” for the time being. she thinks the issue is that we never were fully ready to open up to the other person because of personal inhibitions but i just think that i tried being myself with her and she doesn't understand and i just stopped liking hanging out with her because it drained me. shes kind of pushy too and i don't always appreciate that and she doesn't stop even if i tell her to. so a few hours ago i told her i wanted to end it. a few arguments and about an hour later i ask her why she doesn't let me break things off. she was keeping me in place even when i was physically trying to get away (as so to not hurt her body) and not letting me leave by saying that she’ll stay here till the next day if i don't change my decision. i ask her why she so vehemently is against it and she told me that she thinks that my s/o has been poisoning me against her. i did agree to her that my s/o has told me to reconsider being friends with her because my s/o saw the mental struggle i went through every month because of my friend. as i said that my s/o has told me to reconsider, she got really hurt (understandable) and started saying she hated her and wish ill upon my s/o for coming in between us when that is not the case. i always felt like she was weirdly possessive about me and i wonder if that was coming into play here. i do agree i get easily influenced by other people’s opinions, especially if they're close to me and it has affected my behaviour towards certain people which i rectified later since i realised how wrong i was. and for context my s/o has told me to stop talking to them about my friendship issue with this girl and has not given my any opinion for months now because they don't want me to get influenced and since it is a touchy topic. and even if my s/o did give me their opinion about my friend now i think a decision as big as cutting her off would warrant critical thinking and self introspection rather than external influence or manipulation (the word my friend used).
i’m just really confused on how to deal with her. she’s not ready to let me break this friendship and she said she’s going to try and keep me close as long as possible. i’m lowkey worried about my s/o because being targeted by someone’s ill intentions is extremely harmful.