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calmTree3152
808 M Little Steps
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts40 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceDecember 13, 2023
Recent forum posts
My partner might not love me
Relationship Stress / by calmTree3152
Last post
 February 26th
...See more My partner and I have been dating for 1.5 years now and due to her shifting countries and my hesitation towards upholding a long distance relationship with no end in sight, we decided long ago to end our relationship when she leaves and that is just a few months away. For the last few months i’ve been feeling less loved. In fact, i don’t know if I've ever been loved the way i need to be in the entire duration of us dating. Ive been in *** friendships these past year and i keep feeling like i just will never find true love. Im ready to work for it. Im working for it with us but it doesn't seem like she respects me or is interested in me as a person anymore. I think she’s just finding comfort in having someone by her side to call her baby and make love to her. This sounds so exaggerated but i feel so lost. I don’t know what to think and feel anymore. Some might say this was to be expected if you knew the relationship is going to end. But then to lead me on like this isn't fair either right? If she doesnt love me. Isnt in love with me. Why is she with me. I dont want to fall out of love with her. But im so tired of giving all the time. Im the one compromising. Im the one thinking. Caring. Expecting. Loving. She just wants. Never gives. im not looking for advice this is just a rant. If anybody does, thank you for reading till here.
group project
Friendship Support / by calmTree3152
Last post
 February 5th
...See more i posted on this forum last month or so about cutting off a friend. the thing is, before i decided to end the friendship, me and my partner had formed a group for our final project with her and another classmate. because of what went down, none of us are comfortable starting the project and even if we have time, we need to get started on it but we wont seeing how things are going now. the only way will be to remove ourselves or her out of the group. any ideas?
My girlfriend potentially has an ed
Eating Disorder Support / by calmTree3152
Last post
 February 3rd
...See more So my girlfriend started gaining weight in the pandemic and has had difficulties keeping it off. Particularly during stressful events such as exams because during these periods we typically have a sedentary lifestyle due to continuous studying and because of stress, she tends to order in calorie heavy foods. She has a relatively active schedule now with dance classes and working out in her free time but it takes time for the weight to come off and since she still has her comfort carb foods it’s going to take even longer. She usually rants to me and cries about her weight and how she pukes up her food if she has had a lot and doesn’t want it to sit as fat in her body and it affects me negatively. I have and still do have weight issues. I have always been fat. Only recently due to an illness i lost weight. But to maintain this weight I have starved myself and brought back my unhealthy relationship with food and listening to my girlfriend talk about hers gets to me sometimes. She’s never willing to accept help about this topic from either me or professionals because of course her parents have been critiquing her for so long that anything similar from anyone else probably sounds similar to her parents’ harsh words. She has been dismissive about my weight issues in the past and I had brought it up with her and she said she won’t do it anymore but I still don’t feel comfortable talking to her about my own weight issues because I might end up triggering hers. She thinks that people who are “thinner” than her shouldn’t talk about how much weight they’ve gained and stuff. I don’t want to negatively get affected by this anymore but I want to stay by her side and help her through her bad days without it getting to me much. I don’t know how to help her and it doesn’t look like she wants help anyways but I’m really lost and confused on how to deal with this.
how do i want things
Motivation & Accountability / by calmTree3152
Last post
 January 28th
...See more all my life i’ve been generally okay with everything others are okay with and more. i’ve never wanted something to disagree with someone or to venture out on my own to acquire it. or to deal with the stress of being bad at something in order to practice and get good at it. i love art. but i’ve never wanted to be good at it. i just lament about how i never got to study it but i’ve never put in efforts from my side to learn with all the free resources available online. why do i not try. i want to. i sit here and think about all the ways i could be good at something. and that’s all. i just think. why is it so hard, near impossible, for me to want something and keep at it? why do i quit everything i start?
unbiased opinion on my friend
Friendship Support / by calmTree3152
Last post
 January 28th
...See more i have been friends with this girl for two years now. we've become friends due to a need of wanting someone as a support and that has resulted in this weird co-dependent friendship which my significant other (s/o) also finds weird. this friendship has been a cause of stress for me constantly and we tend to fight (pretty badly) every month. ive gotten anxiety panic attacks and been depressed because of her. i've talked to her about how i feel but somehow the conversation always shifts and ends up with me not being able to communicate my thoughts because of confusion and us “patching things up” for the time being. she thinks the issue is that we never were fully ready to open up to the other person because of personal inhibitions but i just think that i tried being myself with her and she doesn't understand and i just stopped liking hanging out with her because it drained me. shes kind of pushy too and i don't always appreciate that and she doesn't stop even if i tell her to. so a few hours ago i told her i wanted to end it. a few arguments and about an hour later i ask her why she doesn't let me break things off. she was keeping me in place even when i was physically trying to get away (as so to not hurt her body) and not letting me leave by saying that she’ll stay here till the next day if i don't change my decision. i ask her why she so vehemently is against it and she told me that she thinks that my s/o has been poisoning me against her. i did agree to her that my s/o has told me to reconsider being friends with her because my s/o saw the mental struggle i went through every month because of my friend. as i said that my s/o has told me to reconsider, she got really hurt (understandable) and started saying she hated her and wish ill upon my s/o for coming in between us when that is not the case. i always felt like she was weirdly possessive about me and i wonder if that was coming into play here. i do agree i get easily influenced by other people’s opinions, especially if they're close to me and it has affected my behaviour towards certain people which i rectified later since i realised how wrong i was. and for context my s/o has told me to stop talking to them about my friendship issue with this girl and has not given my any opinion for months now because they don't want me to get influenced and since it is a touchy topic. and even if my s/o did give me their opinion about my friend now i think a decision as big as cutting her off would warrant critical thinking and self introspection rather than external influence or manipulation (the word my friend used). i’m just really confused on how to deal with her. she’s not ready to let me break this friendship and she said she’s going to try and keep me close as long as possible. i’m lowkey worried about my s/o because being targeted by someone’s ill intentions is extremely harmful.
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