My friends all only message me when they wanted something from me
I hadn't spoken to one of them in over a month, first thing he asks is "can you teach me this?" And "I need your help" I'm currently working three jobs to pay for a house and when I said I don't have time, he never responded and hasn't since.
Another friend asked me to help them with a program and didn't say hello first. I hadn't spoken to them in over 3 months despite me trying to check in with them regularly.
A third one just today said "let's do this together" meaning they wanted me to do all of the work on a project like always....I feel so used and sad. I wish I had one damn person who actually checked in on me. Guess it's time for me drop them completely.
I used to have a friend that's similar to your situation, but rather than have her ask me of things, I'm the only person who checks in with her. Ask her how things are going, or when she is free to hang-out. After maintaining a friendship that was one-way (from me only), I finally called off our friendship after 16 years. Sadly, she did nothing to try and keep our friendship. It was as if, our 16 years of friendship had no meaning to her.
I was a bit devastated and upset, as she was my only friend. Ever since I ended our friendship, I haven't had made a new friend, and it's been nearly 10 years now.
@fairmindedBalsam4236
When did you realize it was the final straw?
I had a feeling I should've ended it a long time ago, it was such a tiring friendship when I had always been the person who initiated all our lunches and hangouts. I ended it with her after my family and I moved back to our hometown. We had moved away for 7 years, and during that time, I was dealing with my own mental health issues and didn't really think straight enough to think of ending our friendship. I was holding onto some hope that our friendship was worth something. But I knew that it meant nothing to her from the very beginning, she had used me to her advantage since we first met, also, her then boyfriend, now husband, was very controlling of her, and the friends she meets. So, in a sense, I had a feeling that it was partially his fault too.
I think that last straw was more on my end. I was too tired of maintaining our friendship, and had been disappointed too many times. She'd cancel on me last minute way too frequently, and often with no apology.
@fairmindedBalsam4236
Thank you for taking the time to explain everything, even to a stranger. I appreciate the feedback a lot. Thanks again
Anytime, happy to be of some help.
@fairmindedBalsam4236
And I'm sorry things turned out the way they did for you and your friend too
@Jaeteuk thank you so much i think i know what to do and i'm so sorry to hear that
@fairmindedBalsam4236
I'm sorry to hear about, how does it make you feel
I put it above, just sad and used. Like "wgaf about him, let's see what he can do for use" type of emotions you know? I've stuck my neck out for these people before and they just use me...I feel so *** and mad at myself for letting it happen
@fairmindedBalsam4236
I'm sorry that you have experienced these things with people who are supposed to be friends. It's understandable why you would feel frustrated and unappreciated. Especially because they expect you to be there for them but don't seem to be there for you in the ways you need and deserve. I hope things get better and you are able to find better friends.
Thank you, perhaps it's time I started putting myself first because of all this. It's not fair to myself to allow it go on further when I'm the one that's always being hurt in the end
Yeah this sucks for sure! I think we have all been there at some point though. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being willing for those around you, but there definitely should be a limit to your generosity, otherwise people are to bound to "walk all over you".
Maybe practice saying "no" to people? I would probably suggest avoiding doing other people's work for them lol. That is straight up wrong!
@fairmindedBalsam4236 I get what you mean my friends did that to me but when i came out they all left
