My parents beat me up as an adult (I'm 21), never did as a child
Hello!
I guess this is the perfect place to talk about my experience. I live with my parents, since I couldn't afford leaving when I started college. My mom started beating me with a belt last year. They started treating me like *** since the start of high school, and it got worse over the years, particularly after they found out I didn't take an exam last year. They abuse me because I'm not the student/adult they want, and they punish me whenever they see me lying or lazing around. This whole ordeal brings me so much shame because it takes away your dignity, especially when your parents respected you more as a child. I am ashamed because others got better relationships with their parents, and get to do what they want, while I have to think of strategies of not being beaten.
They also want to disinherit me, and have threatened multiple times that they want to take me to a mental asylum or leaving me off into a forest. Simply because I am not as studious, resourceful, or winning money like others do. And they always compare me to others who are indeed like that. They also would love me to quit college because it's pointless if I am not earning money and I'm not being a good student, and wish to sell our apartment.
Even some teachers treated me like *** in my senior year of HS after taking low marks, and put up her "teacher's pet" to follow me, yet the "teacher's pet" couldn't care less.
They all think I don't have a conscience in a world where young adults are aspiring to work, dreams and
Please help. What should I do? (besides moving out and/or going to a domestic violence center)
@Aqua7281 I’m really sorry you’re going through this—it sounds incredibly painful and isolating. It's important to recognize that you deserve support and respect, no matter the situation.
While moving out and seeking help from a domestic violence center might be challenging to consider, they could offer valuable resources and support. If those options feel overwhelming right now, it might be helpful to reach out to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics or trauma. They can provide you with strategies to cope with the abuse and help you navigate your next steps in a safe and supportive way. You deserve to be in an environment where you feel valued and safe 💜
Also, and I know this sounds condescending and it's not meant to be but take a step out of the victim mentality. It's not serving you well at all.
I had bad "parents" so I feel comfortable offering insight.
You need to take charge of your life and destiny and defend yourself from abuse. One very hard lesson some of us have to learn in life, unfortunately, is that the people you are supposed to trust the most are the ones you should trust the least. It is what it is. You're not the only one. I hope this fact that you're not alone in having to learn this lesson helps you process what's happening. But the most important thing to do is to get out. However that translates.
Go to a friend's house and live there or go stay with family or check what social services your government offers. In the US you can ask the state for a social worker to help navigate better housing. Some people go to the churches or whatever religion is around and ask for housing and help. Though, asking religion for help comes with its own dogmatic abuses you'll potentially have to deal with. You said you're in school, go chat with your school counselor and tell them you need a safe place to live. But the first thing you need to do is get out of that house and cut ties with your parents.
Some people would probably even tell you to report your parents. I would gauge how you want to navigate that. I would fight my parents back so I had no issue calling the police on them because I wanted them to know they don't scare me, they should be afraid of me - instead, and I will not take their sh**. What I ended up doing was finding a friend and talking to their parent and asking to move in with them. It wasn't the greatest situation but it was way better than me doing battle every week.
So ... get out. That's what you should do. Get away from harm. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim and start thinking of yourself more as a warrior. And once you get out don't let the abuse transform you into an abuser.
Cheers.
@Aqua7281
"Besides moving out"...
this sounds like a fake story
I can understand what you're going through, I'm dealing something similar at my home. It feels horrible when your parents disrespect you treats you like if you're of no good.
But we're adults now, we can choose our paths and it's high time we should be. Don't let anyone disrespect or belittle you. Please try to find a little job to be able to pay your own expenses. Even the little ones. This will give you a huge confidence boost and will keep you away from home for long periods of time. And will make your parents feel that you're responsible. And as soon as you find a good job please move out of the house. Because you're parents doesn't sound like healthy adults.
That center… because I mean tell the authorities.
I would say if you can’t leave which I have the same thing I couldn’t leave and I had to withstand and endure it because I was already taken away from one home to another as teen and it did continue part of that, try to tell teachers, relatives (if any) or something like staying on their house or grandma or visiting them more frequently to escape from their claws because this is honestly when you’re by the child’s age and it’s still happening, much harder I mean helplines if so and telling them seriously whats going on or any authority that you believe is safe enough to help you. I know this is hard. I believe you. I experienced this myself enough to know I was helpless and powerless. Please try to stay strong and I’m here if you want to talk it out anytime🙏🏻❤️🩹🥺
