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livbinny
10 2,584 M Hopeful Heart 5
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts597 Forum posts120 Forum upvotes266 Current upvotes266 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Bio

❤️‍🩹I have disabilities😓😢and pains🙏🏻❤️Health survivor😭🙏🏻it's hard. Be Kind💖🙏🏻💚😿😭illness and mental health problems 💚😿Praying to God🙏🏻💖may heal us all🤕

Recent forum posts
Hard time waking up
20 & Over Community / by livbinny
Last post
 3 hours ago
...See more I’m still tired tho its just hard to get out of bed when I don’t feel fully rested can anyone send me good vibes please? 🙏🏻
Anyone for positivity practice or encouragement ?
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 3 hours ago
...See more i would use going back into positive mindset or some good energy majorly right now n these days Would u help me ppl?
Need buddy gratitude or positive listeners
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more ((speech recognition, for typos, heads up!)) so basically, just as I stated, I’m having really hard time with positive thinking and it’s not because I don’t want to or because I just feel bad. It’s because basically I had people and he’ll beware it so they basically half of the people that took the great advantage of me basically sucked out my positivity. They never learned. Wanted to learn that from me and when you don’t have like friends or if you don’t really have a close people or like that super you know ki circuit crashed. It’s really hard and I want to practice it these days more than ever before I need encouragement and I need comfort. I mean I don’t need help like in a sense of coping or something. I just really need that. Someone has empathy and gives me the support not help and basically the people that took the great advantage of me. I noticed the similar patterns where they very similarly wrote the message alike and it sounded this way “hey I noticed that you’re positive person or you radiate this energy.” “I want to be around someone positive I’m so negative and everything” you know and since I was friendly, and I was annoying anything beside that I didn’t want to be alone because I was also having a hard time so for the second company, I got stuck in the loop of people that were genuine and true, and also suddenly one day they are gone and you don’t know what’s happening and I just you know I just wanted to be at the same amount of what they took from me in the beginning. It looked like they would you know like be with me or give me the energy pack you know they seemed to open, but it was not true so now that I see it and that I’m basically by myself and you know, especially if you don’t have like family members that you can like confined to or you feel like you just I have feel like for example, relative where I feel like it’s… Just by this point I told him so many times how hard it is that it’s just feels like you know you need people that would be willing to spend time with you and practice this positivity, especially since the family issues are really draining and if you live under the same roof, where is the judgment or energy that is also not positive it’s very hard to keep yourself strong because no one says this it is so invisible on the outside but I just want to say I feel crushed. I feel tired every day and I want to do better with my life before this year end.. So if you have any quote if you would like to talk about affirmations or the way you maintain positivity or you know like religious support each other than here. I am waiting for any kind message. I can get to really get through this week and to not always just think that you have to get through the day because you deserve so much more. We deserve to live and I don’t want to always be in this pain and feel like when I have this pity.. I can’t give myself enough comfort so it always goes up and down and I feel like I can’t remain in the better mood because I just can’t really help the feelings and I know that the healing is long. It’s a process, but I don’t want to feel like I’m waiting for something better because I would like to do it now or well with the real people that also want to get out of the pain and think more positive. thank you🙏🏻💜❤️‍🩹🐙🧡✊🏻❤️🤞🏻💞
Struggle w comforting myself
20 & Over Community / by livbinny
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more I guess the emotionally numb the sadness, the anxiety, the detachment classic dissociation when ur tired but u have to show up hits rly hard after fam issues again last night before I was totally depleted thinking why being here when ur so unloved this day it was better to sleep but I’m so tired man i would rather sleep would rather to be evening … or maybe just to have a little energy n encouragement for now the void is deep my wound always opens up yk?
lonely cuz it’s hard here….
Depression Support / by livbinny
Last post
 21 hours ago
...See more After going through stuff alone n trying to fight to defend ur place here, it still comes off as rather pointless n I’m either in totally anger n injustice from all this how they do as they please without hearing me out or completely drained in trying to find my “way” out again since ur just exhausted from whats going on here…. I don’t feel like ever being in normal fam again…it’s rly awful plus I had just hard night n time ppl…. ​My distant relatives also don’t fight for me nor I ever got anything out of the heartfelt letters I brought them…. I always explained how it’s rly here…. But none of them seems to care or take it serious.. They have their stuff going on assuming I can just always “handle” it here. It’s mentally taxing n unfair but not everyone will understand since their atmosphere is not like this. I’m so tired of being stepped over here yk… I feel like I don’t deserve to deal w this forever but end likely won’t come to this either. Totally stuck. Hard not to feel “helpless”.. But then u ask, for how long…
caring for urself in toxic family
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hey ppl I’m having hard time caring abt myself since it’s a lot going on n this night was totally the worst I mean so hard that to keep going is just difficult… I wanna ask here, How do u protect urself when it comes to fight or stay away in ur fam? Most of the time they play victim by the end of it ends up being one or two n I can’t seem to find a way out…… it’s so upsetting but alsp incredibly frustrating n draining… not like they can ever compromise n try to win every argument.. Their toxicity completely ruined my night. I feel so alone without any comfort or energy for this day…
Toxic family problems (awful time)
Depression Support / by livbinny
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more Hey ppl, I just felt so down that I cried over this spilled milk again. Yk what I mean, I’m so tired cuz it lead nowhere…. ​It’s either fighting or silence..u retreat or speak up which I now fought more but it seems like no matter how u wanna have your needs met, they aint wanna compromise n would rather step over me cuz two on one, what u always expect. Even therapy’s resources are falling short for this. It’s either you leave (which I can’t) or keeping up w boundaries (again, hard time doing so…) n do sacrifice ur free identity even more of not being urself but being closed off no matter how good or bad it is around u. All is energy taking in its own matter. It’s a questioning of what makes sense anymore. It’s so frustrating that I got tired of it. Here u come to live w ur relatives just to see their faces unmasked. The truth came again…. I wish they got help too !! It all sucks way worse I can say here. I wanted to go into some forgotten woods to not wake up again. No wonder u feel like giving up. It’s so messed up here. I dunno how I’ll keep up when they get even older. It’s year of chasing after freedom u don’t seem to ever get!! My views are pretty altered by this time it’s all distorted bcs of them. It’s always for others we suffer this much. I’m so tired. Cuz it hurts when u got nobody to fight alongside u. Nor friends, not siblings, it’s just ypu by yourself trying to “save” yourself from every situation either by speaking up or retreating into silence.  What’s even worth more now? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 any support n comfort would be greatly appreciated… 
even fam taking u for granted?! - (answer me)
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 Monday
...See more So ppl…. Basic question, have ur distant relatives n fam taking u for granted? do u also feel or experienced this like me?? Being naturally giving, gifts, letters, anything for their bdays, Christmas, holidays …. But never got anything back…or got back just a bare minimum like one treat when u finally was like, oh they thought of me! Or their simple thanks, liked it that another relative passed through you cuz even when u wanted to connect w ur other cousins, they didn’t take that step… Or greeting u when u come n go but not talking to u in general at all….just see u acknowledging u “physically” there n that’s it. Hurtful. Enough is indeed ENOUGH. NO MATTER WHERE IT IS, ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT, REMIND URSELF IF U FEEL LIKE GOING BACK TO THE GIVING “LOOP”… Even if u feel like u might earn they love or care, attention, whatever it is, they will always give you less. The saddest thing is doing this mistake “belief” all over again for years…. They won’t give you more. Likely won’t. There isn’t rly “hope” yk? It’s how they are. Not it is important to them, nor they value it enough… And no, not everything is meant to be one sided or active vs passive. There are situations where it might be useful or the only option, but in any communication or situation, it shouldn’t be always just “you” making most of the efforts…. ​Before I was looking at it that when I didn’t get anything, I was like at least they know abt me or how I’m doing that I think of them, they seen my gift, “at least” they did. Was my ONLY answer. I wasn’t overthinking it. So when it came to little “reciprocation” I was head over heels. But seriously, what for? No…. Gosh, u deserve so much better. U always DID. It’s sad when u got nobody in ur circle to see it. I wish I didn’t have such negative experience w ppl. Maybe this is actually the worst curse - whenever it was, it always ended up this bad…..used n ghosted. Take care ppl n I hope this resonates to same “old” givers like me. Old ways are absolute garbage. No, world is not kind nor it is useful to be always nice n caring like this.  Give it to yourself, u need it so much more now… Me.
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