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livbinny
7 3,240 M Seeking Light
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts793 Forum posts163 Forum upvotes404 Current upvotes404 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Bio

❤️‍🩹I have disabilities😓😢and pains🙏🏻❤️Health survivor😭🙏🏻it's hard. Be Kind💖🙏🏻💚😿😭illness and mental health problems 💚😿Praying to God🙏🏻💖may heal us all🤕

Recent forum posts
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why is mental health the hardest
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 1 hour ago
...See more Especially if ut lonely enough , with ur thoughts mostly, I try to remind myself of freedom (from cutting of toxic ppl) to more peace now which is TRUE but at the same time my immense struggles w self pity now that I managed to handle somewhat differently tho self defeating thoughts come heavily upon me… it HURTS. There is this emotional void inside I can’t fill n all it asks for is comfort from others. Why it must be always me… I wasnt this way before since I was usually for n on my own w imagination n stuff but when I wanted to meet n interact w ppl, they used their subtle powers n took out my energy n kindness. I still feel empty, it’s been months .. all I wish for is to inspire n help others learn from my experiences… I need that support circle that’s so hard to find, that’s why I’m pouring my soul here… now n who knows how long… pain n tiredness is also hard, but mentally nothing can cure it like shift of thoughts or letting these emotional states go since fighting doesn’t help them… Yk in my mind… emotional emptiness seems persistent, only relief I get when feelings come off of me.
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Positivity before Christmas (needed!)
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 16 hours ago
...See more Hey guys, it’s almost before Christmas when I’m feeling more n more lonely to myself… it’s incredibly hard to find friends which made me go to sleep n wake up w empty hole in my chest as of no one sees my hard work nor I get any rewards but myself n myself 24/7… I know it’s better to be on ur own n I did major cut of toxic ppl this year but when it comes to support I’m realizing it’s just me n sometimes I wish more… my best Christmas gift would be ur lovely comments or sometjing that someone said n helped u lift up u can tell me to help me too! many thanks🙏🏻
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Anxious of loneliessness
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more these times when u still find urself alone despite countless of efforts to fight for ppl, search, seek or chase. moral to 2025: don’t do it me…. or like me i feel alone w hole in my chest almost daily just suppressed self pity cuz it was don’t wanna be in pain but it still finds me :( no one by your side as true friend all I see is home, sometimes backyard n my fam no local friends not any friends actually (almost true) visit to my relatives only occasionally after u left imagination it feels so dull n empty like nothing left right? plus other stuff like declutterrin support cases for devices n other stuff that needs to be done n solved it all piled up very inconveniently but I’m solving I promise!!
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Just how I wish to receive some kindness this week
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 December 13th
...See more Working hard these days whole week …showed me to never give up, but don’t be perfectionist either! its one of my hardest struggles alongside being sad cuz whenever I reach out for help I don’t get much care from ppl… so this is my place when I come when I feel it’s too much to ask some of the kinds souls to send me some encouragement or gift for these times🙏🏻✨ happy early holidays guys💕🤧
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Anxious cuz self pity n need of company is hard:(
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more U know how u get anxiety from self pity since ur not okay n however that is, I know I can finally say putting myself first n do something for me or during meditation the compassion I was finally thought of - MYSELF whenever I reach out to ppl to this day only one thing in life shows- they don’t care the same I do or in deeper level i couldn’t hold onto any rope since it’s all temporary … it’s either bad luck in life, my own personality or sometjing in between since no, I’m not strong n I deserve same treatment for my stuff but ppl never give me, it’s easier for them to even assume oh well I’m strong I know my stuff doesn’t mean I don’t feel it anymore!! it’s so hard to befriend somebody cuz the comfort n interaction like being seen is my need but when ppl don’t give me back what I need or in such pattern or amount it’s like, I’m going such lengths when they don’t even care n can fade on me (ghosting)…. ofc, u end up bottling it again n again no matter what hobby, what meditation I do I still end up being in the same pain. never open door to anyone or help unless u know they would show something from their side but also, once I stop, they stop too… don’t even try there I’m telling you, it only shows their characters n how plain they all are… I would never done it but guess that’s just me… this is not just one time or one community, it’s multiple situations, circles, people that brought me to this stage!! tell me ppl, whats worth in this world anymore than yourself?
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To one person… (pls ignore)
Friendship Support / by livbinny
Last post
 December 4th
...See more I only tag them if they can see n get back to me here🙏🏻 honestly I had no idea about that ban for 2 weeks, sorry for that, it’s unfair when u only wanted to stand up for me as well as I tried to clarify this to the team n mods so they told me they will be more aware of this n will improve but it’s not fair that u had to “pay” for it cuz it was nothing bad i just had to went twice cuz nobody was rly listening n mods were “away” u don’t deserve it neither did i so if anything talk to me here ok?
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positivity needed
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 December 8th
...See more hey ppl came to collect some sparks of positivity, GIFs, whatever u have that u wanna share w me pls do🙏🏻❤️‍🩹🤧❤️ thanks!!
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My usual lonely day (long version)
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 December 1st
...See more Hey ppl, Today: feeling alone in nudging anxiety (constant force)…tired but tired like extremely tired that even if I’m “awake” I feel like half off half on…eating goes hard which makes me feel like I have to mentally prepare before every meal. Plus the isolation sometimes feel itself too much. Being alone w minimal interactions is making me feel sad n low plus I’m still recovering from self pity issues (due to multiple hurt from ppl) to be truly happy. Or at peace of becoming happy yk? So it’s true that I feel lonely. I also fight my intrusive thoughts n unpleasant sensations … it’s nothing new for me to be this unwell tho the forms of it change so it’s not always feeling in the same kind of unwell state but now, I can tell. Also I’m sad cuz being this alone is noticing harder to manage when ur this tired n ur fam don’t get these types of issues …. I come here or someplace else like this to talk to u guys… It’s a new “home” for me. To get my feelings out without being shamed or judged by why I feel this way, what’s the constant battle or struggle all about n how young or old I am. Important is that we all fight for another day n we all need more than just survive it. I truly hope we can recover n feel better so that the our world won’t be always filled with us being sad or hopeless. I can be numb one minute n next very tired. Ppl say u deserve to live not just to exist n be like get through this n this day but it feels so much every day just like this. Getting through the same motion while hoping for something to change. It would be good if we can hold onto some happy moment or feel that good feeling n creativity flowing through us without feelings sad afterwards cuz get this: I try to move, get walking or dancing a little or just thinking n imagining something or I go study… learning anything makes me normally feeling at ease, happy n accomplished. But these times it’s like after that hurt from ppl n how alone I happened to suddenly be…  I realized that nobody rly knew n nobody sees what I do even now. Protecting, keeping ur parts safe from fam n getting out of one sided friendship only now it starts to go on surface w how small I always felt, belittled, limited or backing down just to make peace n never confront anyone for anything cuz they weren’t bad ppl. But good they weren’t either. So while I do my things in my own time, n I’m trying to enjoy n derive something joyful from it… it’s true that keeping it all for yourself due to valid reasons in ur environment makes u feel very alone n more sad. Bcs it’s like u plan it alone for urself, u do things but then alsp u get unwell n it all just gets sad again cuz u just wanna feel good again or not so exhausted to do all those things plus my anxiety is also big factor that makes me so unwell that I can’t focus n feel like my brain is sleeping instead.  Also my major part is the company of any music, background sounds (but usually songs) on headphones n watching series. When I watch those episodes n I’m doing my stuff meanwhile or watching while I’m eating it makes me feel somewhat better n safe like someone out there, in this case characters are sharing scribbles of lives just like me when I see them doing the same stuff or feel some way familiar to me.  It’s the constant void u have to fill in n ur trying not to be always w ur thoughts or bodily sensations cuz too much focus doesn’t do good either so I go where I can watch n focus on something else that’s still beneficial to me. Which is good tho when ur real unwell, it’s much harder to focus n feel good while watching it but I’m never giving up. I think that’s the key in everything we want or need to do.  That’s why…
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