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Leading life alone - (self-pity) struggles

7 Cups Online Therapy / by livbinny

8 hours ago

...See more The self pity consuming your whole being. Ending up being without “friends” or ppl cause you’ve been used n ghosted pretty much the whole time. No, they're not good. Being afraid when you’re low cause there is no one to turn to, to write to but yourself or groups like these (but admit it, it’s more like talking to yourself in diary) There is no one that can acknowledge your effort n everything it takes to be THIS mentally strong on your OWN, but yourself. It hurts, I know it’s MUCH better be off from those people at any time, they don’t deserve me either, but it’s like waking up from a dream where you’ve been only a character that played this all n now it’s all over. Or like a game setting where u repeat or reset each time but w new background n stuff around. People, I’m very sad. Going thru so much exhaustion n if you want to be seen u must constantly put up new stuff or something in order to be faintly noticed or visible in these cases (also hurts a lot), nobody to check up on you. Every efforts for others I would give myself like a gift or treasure can just to be returned w nothing instead. No one stayed, no one reciprocated enough care, it all crashed down… Even those that seemed to be “good” disappeared on me just like that one day. Protecting n healing myself is very hard. ((Anyone who wants to talk abt this, in same situation or similar, ur welcome, I would be glad for some company, I literally have no one for these types of stuff, when I share around on some apps, ppl usually try to fix u instead of giving you support or encouragement they just say u should be either grateful or pray, I get this but all we need is just listening n kindness nothing else….seriously, no pointing out where to go or what to do, I only need to be heard! Is it so hard for them to understand or see this?)) P.S.: Pls tell me I’m not alone.

Not sad, but not happy

Depression Support / by livbinny

Wednesday

Giving way too much is never the answer

General Support / by livbinny

October 28th

...See more So I just we want to express my pain off being well for my age I’m young but I just over this weekend. It was the first time I learned what I couldn’t see. I wasn’t aware of that if you constantly give too much and this becomes normal to you because you really want to care the attention. The whole lie back from people but sadly, I’m an open book. I always give too much whether it is the beginning of middle or end always And I was still giving too much even when the people disappeared on me because I was like what is happening when you have no guidance in life or no one to tell you this stuff I didn’t have this knowledge, but I was basically you know like this was very natural to me that I will be a giver Gift long messages or anything. I was always there for people when I realize nobody is here for me, they all left me. I was being abandoned on so many times and sadly it’s like weeks. It’s going smoothly and then it’s about a month and they are gone well the time can be different. You know I’m just my experiences are these I feel totally disheartened. I feel now so alone I have to be strong on my own and I just know that I have to protect myself so much and care like never before and I can’t do this the wrong way or I can’t always be giving my effort, energy and everything I have because it is just not worth it it doesn’t count and even if people are not aware or they are being aware What basically happens is that they always take it when a ditch that I can’t see and they are using me, but I was never able to see this before and I went after one expert this weekend and just for one trivia thing that I wanted to ask and we seriously ended up discussing all of this so now you can imagine that I wanted to ask for just one little thing and I realize that my problem is much more bigger and so much hurt. I realize so much I really did reflect and I see all the patterns of how people were using me Too to have company because I was optimistic. I was friendly I was open. I was trying to help or just to pass time or anything that was convenient for that period you know so please just say this from me and do not end up like I do now because I have to heal and this is tremendous work. I am by myself. I have to hold myself there is no one and I realize that everything I put to this people all my hopes all my care it never get back to me and it’s so hard but yes, I was being used and not just once this happened many times because unfortunately, if you are a good person and if you also have this energy and this positivity that actually I learned by myself and I was trying to tell people that hey you can learn this too, and this is how I do it but they just took it off from me until they left me empty and completely mentally shattered And like crumble down and I realize I can’t trust people. I realize I can’t see people and everyone of the same that they don’t all deserve the same and I can’t see them that they are all good because they are not good for me and I was giving everything to the wrong people and now I have to get up. You know when there’s no one that will help you but yourself to you know restore everything that those people took from you and be better and stronger version of yourself now but I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been doing this for years and if it wasn’t for this weekend and I think the guy that this happened because if it really didn’t happen, I would have continue until forever and you know what would happen if I continue any longer I mean whether it is our family relatives or anyone out there strangers or people because I just really wanted to connections and friends. I always just want to give too much of myself every single time And I realize now that they really like me that I am trained and that I feel like I’m a lifeless person without who I have been before because I realize I give so much every single time because I didn’t want to have a regrets I want to you know see the opportunity. It is actually what my condition taught me because this year it really worsened with me so overall I just went out there. I wanted to socialize you know, but I took it by the wrong and see and I know this is not my fault and usually I’ve been told this that it is not my fault and also like the self pity or pity from others that you know, I don’t deserve it and everything but nobody told me the solution. Nobody mentioned to me that I should give less or have some boundaries since I never had limits because I’m just way too kind you Know so if you’re in the same stage of life if you realize it if you are going to protect yourself now just know that you’re still a good person and I’m really proud that now you’re going to do this and restore everything that the world and those people take Duke from you and I will do the same. It’s not our fault that we are this kind. We really just want to see the best in the people, but people are not the best and many times we can end up used and heard very badly Even if we are not being attacked or being treated badly. This is also very bad treatment and this is also something that when happens it is very hard to accept and move on from because you know that you are by yourself when you need to heal and everything that belongs to your state or your mental stage now when you know that you have to come out of it strong and you can’t give up even if all those people gave up on such precious soul that you have been that I have been and it hurts so much but I’m here to tell you this is the pain I feel and this is Why I will try to heal my best, but never ever do the same things I did for the people ever again❤️‍🩹❣️

Being used n people Leaving you…..

20 & Over Community / by livbinny

31 minutes ago

...See more I have something very important to speak about and I wanted to tell you because well I don’t have friends I don’t have company. Everything is lonely and I need to talk about this somewhere you know so if you’re a giver like me and you just give too much and you end up with nothing at all *** it’s just not this. I always was like thinking that this is just a confidence and all I have is like being lonely and scared and Everything on my own and of course it’s not fair to always like give yourself back what other student you know because you never deserve it but let me tell you this is the weekend and I’m 22 and this is the first weekend when I did learned that I was being used so I realize like everything that is about giving too much being open trusting and friendly you can just really be yourself if you know that this is not working like be a better version of yourself and try to be cautious and I’ve have been told like so much. You know to protect yourself because I don’t really have any limits when it comes to giving my only boundaries worse if people were to attack me badly you know so I was thinking that if I have constant judgment of family that if I put my hopes out to the world, I would find what I want, but that was not it because the people if they just all see like my energy positivity and everything and basically they took it from me they feed off and basically they sucked it out of me because it’s been so many people that in the beginning I never I never viewed a mass wrong people. You know I see everybody has good person deserving of the same and like we should be kind it can change someone’s day and whether this is stranger or a family member I always end up giving And being generous way too much then I’m empty and there’s like nobody that can help me or stand by me because I realize that those people leave me they have told me and this is what hurts so much but here I want to say and please ignore that day with the flower it’s I’m using speech recognition because this is so hard to write But I realize that you can’t always give too much and not just that but I was just thinking that I was being confident because you give so much so like you are not afraid to be with people and all of that but this they took me for granted and they left me after sometime when they got what they want or when they got bored, I mean, I just learned what they were thinking or what it’s all means that when people suddenly goes to you or they like disappear suddenly they become busy or something and he wondering why when everything first of all it was like all right the start or about a month or a few weeks it really lasted so I couldn’t tell And I was never told this. Nobody told me this so I never know that this is not good for me and it can be harmful even since even when I have good intentions and I’m a good person and I see people as being good if they don’t harm me, they are not good because I feel like abandonment is a form of abuse because basically One day they finally leave you. You know when it’s gone so I just want to say that if you feel the same if you feel alone and if you also feel hurt and if you feel like there is like no other way, like you just feel a hopeless or lifeless, I feel like an empty person without energy. I feel like stabbing to this reality just to know that I was being used so many times if you have the same egg just like no the this paining you must let it hurt. I can do much about it. It still hurts me. It is so hard to process because I have anxiety. I have anger. I’m like what happened you know all this time and it was with every person that I would go giving too much gift their care attention everything just to earn some of theirs, but I realized that this hope I was putting for to them was just reflection of my own and they never really fight for me so please don’t fight for anyone and you must know who deserves it and who doesn’t I’m here just preaching, but I just learned this weekend but I’m glad I did because if it was too late if I continue just a few more years, I don’t know what I would end because it told detrimental to my own mental state that it’s so hard but in the beginning, I wasn’t feeling drained. I was just constantly like I like I’m this friendly person so like I go out there and you know, be friends and mean there’s people like share something together and be happy But suddenly where it doesn’t work this way and once people see that you give as much they can take it and teach quickly and use you without you being aware I wasn’t aware at all because you know I don’t have any limit when it came to giving to me. This was normal but to other people you know what happens So I’m just saying that I’m just so sad. This is so hard to be alone and you have to be mentally strong even now I can trust too much. I must count on myself and my heel on my own you know to restore and repair everything they took from me, which is very hard, but I will never make a mistake mistakes again I will never repeat this patterns and I actually have to put less and I’m now like Now. I’m just thinking like oh so I don’t really have to put so much anywhere like I have been trying this my whole life so you know this is just so hard, but you got to accept the pain and really move on and be the better you and stop trying too hard and too much when I see other people that are in my shoes they try too much. They stress over it because you know for other people I’m like just don’t because The right people I mean, let people come to you and let’s see if they are worthy and deserving of your kindness and everything you have to offer, but don’t try too hard because it’s not worth to try this hard. Will you end up like me and I never wish this to anyone but I hope those people will be aware of the pain they have cost me and anybody else who is this as much giving and Was like this in this world

Anxious out of loneliness

Anxiety Support / by livbinny

Wednesday

question for those without friends….

20 & Over Community / by livbinny

2 days ago

Being alone for difficult emotions

Depression Support / by livbinny

Friday

Scared of loneliness

20 & Over Community / by livbinny

October 27th

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