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livbinny
1 1,500 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts288 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes78 Current upvotes78 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Bio

❤️‍🩹I have disabilities😓😢and pains🙏🏻❤️Health survivor😭🙏🏻it's hard. Be Kind💖🙏🏻💚😿😭illness and mental health problems 💚😿Praying to God🙏🏻💖may heal us all🤕

Recent forum posts
Who sees you, I’m here…
Depression Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 28th
...See more I know it is like if nobody knows you. nobody sees it on you countless of times staying strong or without saying of anything about this because we are so much more and at the same time one hour you can be sad, next numb n so on… plus what the family cannot see is that mental health is ongoing thing day by day hour by hour actually as it fluctuates and changes between harder and lighter right? (in 2023 I’ve been told due to my depressive day that it seems as if people don’t even know I’ve existed) something to this day I won’t peace with and show it’s never been true. so even if it seems like no care in the world and no one reaches back to you and I know it’s actually exhausting to be always the one seeking and asking for the help and understanding go on, continue… I’ve been encouraged to do the same in my therapy if others don’t turn back to you you go and take as time as you need to find those people or simply to reach out where you can be heard and listened to and I hope that you can still give this care to yourself because being emotionally stable is all that matter (even if people appear stoic like me) Indifferent or neutral because it’s been so much that staying calm was my utmost need and priority - to this day I need it! - I always will. But my point is also for …. to those who always been by themselves, in their head, in their world without limits or care, it’s been lovely and it always will stay, but in reality, if you can step out and starting to make impact or sharing this with real world people (your story can be heard much more) than just with the person that sees it all inside your head, and I’m glad that’s you, because to this day I wasn’t bothered by it, but this year with everything that has happened, I realized how hard it is when you’re so sick and it seems that there is just no one to comfort you or encourage you to keep going through it all… it’s very good thing to be your own biggest supporter and friend, only you’re with yourself 24/7…. but we also deserve this from other people too…. we really do…….. and I want to strive there too~ thanks for reading people<3
Grief people
Grief & Loss / by livbinny
Last post
 Monday
...See more I want to say that loneliness is huge. It is huge. No one can tell you it is not because you know you know that it is you know it. I know it too, and grief is also unlimited just like in the other emotional while feeling or respect in our lives and It’s not like you still grief or just there’s like it is well long-term I mean lifelong because you carry them in your heart, but like it can hit you you know it can just come that time or season or day and it’s back same happened with me as this week started because also the pain and really Physically I just feel like very it’s been a lot and it’s still a lot on me then there is loneliness, and there is the emotional aspect that is also a lot so you just gotta restore and be more like you know back to your shape or have you used to be because now I’m in bed I’m in bed because like one day of pain it can just like everything take you then you have a hard time eaten all of that drink, but it’s very important to get back to it but you’re still like tired. You know that’s what I mean and this week when the grief came it came because I was actually searching for The most detailed version of how it all happened and I started to imagine it the go and everything it was just huge so I went with that to ask in therapy online well but like I said that I go there to ask you know virtually and or remotely and basically it can be like a wisher trauma, which is like even if you didn’t witness it, but as someone who I can imagine it or put myself in their shoes, I like as I was reading the storyline of the real event, the real crash event I knew and so you know how devastating that isn’t scary and everything so I was afraid, but I didn’t have any bad dream I was able to process it but today it felt very heavy. I was outside and it just felt like a heavy emotional package because it’s something it’s more than just sadness. It’s something very big we carry in us and where are you look at the sky today was cloud watching venting or you just talk to the god or anything or to anyone because this is my secret like won’t no one knows this because these people deceased that left last year but I only know about it this year so to me it’s bigger difference really big difference And I found your account you know and everything looks to us if they’ve been there or still are so like I come to back when I’m sad or something I come to look at it again whatever helps you and so that’s the reason why today it was hard again and why I failed it This match and I just felt some comforting from these two people from the sky, so let’s say that heavens or God bless me there’s a complexity, but these people didn’t know me only I know them, but I’m grateful that I know them even if I never heard them. I was able to see them because they are my cousin’s Cousins. They are cousins of my cousin, but I really only know them from this year so it’s been a year since that accident and it happened in the car. I mean it is devastating. It is disheartening because they’re not here physically I think that’s the biggest loss. We feel right they’re not here too. See us listen to us. This is life and we. We still don’t know like where they are or if they transform into something or if that energy is something else I sometimes thing you know thinking be now some beautiful flower somewhere and we don’t know about it, but this is the reason I should always allow yourself to grief because these people have life like they really liked I mean, they were very social uplifting people they love parties actually they were coming early in the morning from one end One person that was their driver was going very very fast fast faster in order. I don’t think they were responsible, but it happened. I saw on caption where they had like right or wrong. They don’t care. They just wanted to go with the flow of life I mean what is deeply saddening is that they were just 20 and 22 year-old last year so basically very young souls very like young beautiful souls that have left us in me but I know I mean people want us to be happy. I know they would want me to be happy, proud I basically have the same thinking, but we should always allow ourselves to grief. You can grieve today tomorrow next Friday next month next year but you do you always do it doesn’t have any limited time or space because if then you can say the same about Lau about sadness about anything else and wouldn’t make sense no it wouldn’t. You should always allow yourself to grieve grieve as much as you need or want in that time and moment I had this one experience with a friend and people. I just want to tell you well tell anyone I’m telling you this here you as if you’re reading my diary for this moment one time I was telling one person that we’re no longer friends because it didn’t work out, but I was telling them you know that I just got very sad and suddenly I started to missing grandma. In this case. It was grandma. You know the one that passed when I was a little kid when I was young myself very young and small and basically you know the I feel dismissed like if I shouldn’t look at the past or stick with that creep like I should do something with my life and go and move on. Well that’s not absolutely wrong but you can’t deny the emotions you feel you must feel it. It’s OK to return to the past to bring the person back again. It means that we think of them they made it to us and we carried them. All we carry with them. We walk still with them. It’s so beautiful but if we pull our taught that and they think that it is limited time for grieving for any waving that is wrong that is entirely wrong. There is no limit to anyone who read this to the end. Thank you so much. If something resonates we can talk about it and this is what grief means to me. 🫶🏻💭❣️
Anxiety that makes you scared, are we okay?
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 24th
...See more It’s the thing that the lack of outer comfort and care affected my own self care and my anxiety like whenever I feel really bad or unwell or stressed or now in real pain, exhausted from soothing myself over this whole hour so I could have my stomach less upset and focus more on resting, this anxiety is sad and hurting because it feels that my comfort for it is not enough but I know how to talk to myself kindly and all that, I just wish they would care more when it comes to this. im in bed and completely weak, I didn’t drink enough as that did upset my stomach earlier and I wanted my painkiller to work I had to wait another hour, I only want to be acknowledged how much this takes from us and how strong we must stay and be all this time…… it’s a lot and im scared, I’m afraid and I’m sad and I just need to be told that it’s going to be ok again, just like the same way I’m here for myself with the plushies….. my anxiety is living inner in me so it’s harder to see the way out when it gets all foggy and out of mind all I need is care to be heard and understood that even this is going to be okay after some more time will pass soon…..
In pain and without anything else to say
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 25th
...See more If you can, kindly keep me in your thoughts. its really hard to be comforting yourself and making sure you’re alright when all gets hard and scary and you’re really afraid but at the same time you must keep yourself strong enough to do this again on your own, no one to comfort or encourage me or listen or help me it’s really hard people, I’m in bed, I’m sleeping and trying to be awake, this hour just pain and waiting for my stomach to calm down from being all nauseous because my lower back hurts my legs hurt it’s a lot at once and my thing and issue with painkillers is that theyre me really really of 100% relief, and also the fact HOW LONG it takes to you know work, that’s crazy that’s a lot. Then as I also have anxiety and derealization and intrusive thoughts its harder to keep yourself mentally stable although I’m calm and collected person, I still get to feel this fear. i know it’s essential to be here for yourself 24:7 with compassion and acceptance but it’s also difficult to maintain and navigate when all you feel is pain and afraideness and how the lack of care from my family just reflects the most, it’s disheartening, it’s really sad. thank you for reading, we get with this pain one hour at time….
we got this flower people
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 23rd
...See more If you read this it means you got this!!!! we don’t really have to get breaks or just because it’s weekend no not really so 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 here are some flowers for support to each of us i like that even one nice kind word can brighten the day and if not that, then bouquet of virtual flowers can do exactly the same! 💐💐💐💐💐🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 sometimes we don’t have the words or we don’t have them enough you can be sad or tired or weary all of sudden again wondering what’s going on again or off or dissociated so in these cases 🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹💐💐💐🤞🏻 flowers instead okay?
Depression is my friend with derealization
Depression Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 27th
...See more if this has posted twice, just know that I just returned after a few more years and it’s a bit confusing to me now I know how to find the new but I tried to post it now and it didn’t appear and I didn’t get that it was like has been submitted so I assume it didn’t but if I like find it, I’ll just keep the one I want to give virtual hack to anyone who is experiencing this. It’s very isolating experience. I don’t have like depression like disorder. Luckily, I don’t suffer to depression but when you get the realization and you get it every day, it doesn’t matter day or night, but you got it. It’s very isolating. Think you’re very disconnected you detached and it makes you feel down and this is the thing that it really makes me feel like numb and empty and in I don’t even know what emotional state because it’s it doesn’t make me like sad but if we makes me off and even if it’s neutral, I just know that I’m feeling down so it’s kind of like a depressive state and you know you gotta just go with that and still do your things and not fury that you know that I’m this feeling is just like they’ll take their leave, but it is that the realization can bring a lot of of these sad feelings or this feelings that you’re just not OK and it’s OK to not be OK. I learned that from frazzled and but just seeing how it feels I woke up to the realization in the morning then you got a better and then it just really like goes from good to bad and I never know next hour. I’ve been living like this ever since this year started, but it was due to something else like my body was constantly feeling very unwell and everything now that has gotten better so thankfully, I don’t feel as soulful and unwell as I did all these months, but there are some things that still purchase so yeah it’s just really good to talk them out because really what helps us if you just hurt and listened because sometimes they don’t really have a solution. They are like I know the things basically because I have a therapy system but it’s like explained you know so I know all that but somethings don’t really like have a social just gotta get through it with how you feel and that’s the story. I’m feeling it right now. It’s like what is who is me and especially it’s challenging when you’re alone because I have diminished control over like surroundings myself and that can be distressing that can be like oh they can get you scared but you don’t have to be scared that’s why when I talk about this then it’s somehow somewhat. It gets better and you know that you’re not alone in it bites very very isolating. I think I found this one of the most isolating things because it’s when you’re either like it was just in my mind and not even like what is my bad you know just so strange it’s very strange and I hope that today also so that’s for it and it’s just dehydrated and do some stretching it always help and food helps because sometimes even when you’re hungry it’s kind of just get like real bad so do you have enough of everything and great Friday I have. I hope we can make today something awesome or just good doesn’t have to be special. You’re ready like all that we do and to the weekend. I hope we’re going to have something to just see if if not enjoy because I’m mean honestly I’m gonna stay where I don’t really feel happy like I’m aware of things. I can’t be mindful but you don’t feel the joy and happiness so I’m like yeah now I know well you don’t have to. You just have to be like OK it’s to me. It’s a big win if I’m not down if I’m not down that’s so mean to me because it doesn’t mean like most of the time I’m not good or bad. I feel very neutral most of the time but to me that’s enough because I know that like we’re trying best every single day you get what you mean to anyone thank you for reading this. Thank you so much you are loved.
When derealization makes you numb and empty
Depression Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 27th
...See more The thing is, it’s not always extremely depressive or like that I’m sad or something but I’m without my mood without joy or anything at all like being out of emotive state. so derealization that I have now every day, it does make me somewhere in depressive state…. 🥺🙏🏻💜🫂💙💘 if you’re going through same isolating experience day or night it doesn’t matter, here is *virtual* hug for our feelings and things to get better We got this people❤️ily🙏🏻🥺🍂🍁💕
The loneliness is intense when it seems that people don’t really care
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 September 19th
...See more I feel so alone people like no one really cares seriously almost no one it is very detrimental and hard to deal with extremely hard its taking toll on my body too its just a lot all my life by myself even if therapy helps It’s still a lot seeing this happening around you and in the world I wish people were as caring and aware as me at least logically yk?
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