Struggling
This just ramblings because i think i need to get some of this out of my head and into words.
Since this covid thing started i have had a great deal of anxiety and depression. Ii am taking antidepressants and anxiety meds when its really bad. But now im starting to obsess over how much i am eating. Many many years ago i went through treatment for bulimia and have had little relapses before but this is starting to feel out of control.
I have been trying to only eat healthy foods and im walking a mile a day. Only walking doesnt really help it only makes the thousand thoughts in my head spin faster. At the moment i really want to go buy a bathroom scale to weight myself because i feel like i has lost a litte weight but cant prove without the scale.
Im very scared at the moment. I dont want to be that person with the eating disorder again.
Have requested counseling through my dr and hopefully the will call me back tomorrow with an appointment. My patience and frustration levels are really low at the moment.
I am lucky i am able to work from home so i do still have a job during all of this, but it ties me to my computer and house most of the day.
Thanks for listening
@AlwaysStruggling
Ok I have a few things to say. First: Don't panic if you have gained, bc eating anti-depressants and anxiety meds will often make you gain. You need to see this, and be ok with it, bc I gained like... 10 kg (not all gain so much though) when I begun eating anti-depressants.
Second, if you have overthinking as a problem, you need to distract yourself. If you overthink when you walk, find a way to distract yourself while walking. It can ofc be music (VERY loud music helps me a lot, but it has to be very loud. So loud that I can't hear the outside world). Music is good, and of you can sing along or just lipsync to the music that's really good. Bc it's hard to think about two things at the same time. Audiobooks can be a good distration too, if you like that. Bc then you can concentrate on the story and not your thoughts.
Third, DON'T (and I really mean DON'T) by a scale. You WILL trigger yourself, and that's not a good idea. As long as you are not morbidely obesse you are ok. And you will notice if you are that when you look at yourself. You don't need a scale fort that.
Fourth, you are so brave! It's SO good that you notice the signs and try to stop yourself before you spiral out of control. It's ok to work out, and it's ok to eat healthy, as long as you are not overdoing it. It's OK to have ice cream when it's warm and you need to cool down. It's OK to have a piece of chocolate or a piece of pie with your family and/or friends.
And last: I hope you get through this! If you need someone to talk to, please ping me! I don't have bulimia (but atypical anorexia) and I have tried purging, so I know a little something. And over the years I have learned what my triggers are, and often I see other ppl have the same triggers. If you wanna talk ping/PM me! I hope you get to feel better soon 