Hi!
Accountability for Sunday 8/4
Started the day with a 12 km run.
Here in Italy we have a lot of local organized runs which are basically “free
runs”.
They’re not competitions, you are free to start from like 8 am to 10 am, you
pay a very small sum (like 3€) and they give you a course and a few water/snack
points in that course. So you get to run in different places without the risk
of getting lost, and you know you can find some water, and you also always have
someone near you so you can chat (if you like) or you can use the person in
front of you as a personal challenge and try to keep up with him/her, etc.
And you don’t
have many athletes there, it’s basically just normal people, running or walking
at any speed. So nobody feels out of place.
After the
run I allowed myself a piece of fruit. I normally never ate after those runs.
And when I got home, I snacked on an apple since I was hungry.
Then I had
lunch, and ate the entire portion of protein even if my previous diet had a slightly
lower quantity, but the new diet says “a single portion”, not three quarters of
a portion, so I said “ok I ran, I can try to shut my brain up and eat all of it”.
The rest of
the day went quite normally, I don’t have much to report.
But yesterday
evening before I went to bed I looked at myself and really saw my belly is
getting bigger.
I am fuller. I am fat.
I train, I
run, I eat what the dietician said is “the minimum”, and still I get fat.
I don’t get muscles, it’s like the only part of me that reacts to food is my
belly.
I am so
tired of this!!!
Why can’t I be normal?
I still eat
because I need the energies to run and
train, but why can’t I make it look like I’m actually training?
Why does it always looks like I spend my days sitting on the couch?