The overweight crowd
People are always talking about how they have an eating disorder and it is always aneorxia,bulimia, or ednos.... but people forget there are other things that go on with people of the "overweight" crowd. It can be super hard! So we can chat here!
I used to be really thin and now I have gained over 70 pounds and can't stop eating. Feeling kinda stuck.
@miraculousPanda99 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling stuck! That's a really tough spot to be in. Did anything in particular happen to trigger this weight gain for you, or any specific situations that cause you to eat more? If you could begin to identify what it is that is causing you to cope through eating, perhaps you could start making small changes to replace food with a healthier coping method that works for you. Sending good thoughts your way, I hope you feel a bit less stuck soon.
I am a fat girl, have always been a fat girl and probably always will be, I'm also a fashion students (they really go together don't they - not)
I've accepted the way that I am, yet in my feild of work all I can see is negativity about my size! how can I be both fashionable and fat? Looking at the plus sized ranges online and in adverts the majority of the time they are showcased on either models that are not that plus sized (you know the ones that are plus sized but mysteriously have flat stomachs and no fat rolls - like thats realistic!) or not on a body at all. What is this terror of a womens bigger body?
After feeling like a fashion outsider for forever I thought why not look more into it? therefore this is what im basing my dissertation on. please help me! epp!! what is your opions on the fashion indusrty and the plus sized body? are fashionable clothes avaliable to you? do you feel that the bigger body should be showcased more in advertsments and in general as more people are over weight now than skinny? is fashion just a skinny persons game? Shopping (well where do i start with that!) I'm looking into h&m and evans clothing so if you have any comments on them that would be amazing!
Please can you help? please leave any comments about your experiences with fashion and plus sized it would really be appreciated!
thanks x
@chloeRose3
Hi there....I'm a fat girl too :)
I remember seeing a documentary recently about a pageant celebrating plus size women. But the view of onlookers was obesity shouldn't be celebrated, as it threatens someone's health. I guess I can understand that.....you wouldn't see an advertising campaign with someone smoking 20 cigs, so should us fatties just slink away into a (quite large) hole?
The thing is, with fashion, we need to be clothed. Just as smokers still have cigarettes being produced for them, so too we need big clothes. And for my own self esteem, I'd prefer that I looked nice in my clothes and had a choice, rather than be forced to swathe myself in a brown sack. And if we need big and varied clothing, why the hell shouldn't that be seen and celebrated? So yes, let's be big and proud, let's have choice, let's have the rights and respect of any other consumer. I may be fat, but I'm an equal, and I want to be treated like one!
@chloeRose3 - I think (far too) slowly, the fashion world is starting to catch onto the fact that there is an enormous market of plus-size women who are willing to spend money to get clothes they feel great in (a far bigger market than small sized women!). A couple brands worth checking out: Torrid, Eloquii, ASOS (I've only shopped at Torrid myself, but heard good things about the others)
@Anomalia
Thanks for sharing these....I feel a shopping spree coming on! Another site worth checking out is Ulla Popken. Fill your plus sized boots!
@chloeRose3
Girl!!! Let me tell you how fantastic this is. I've been a big girl my whole life too. I even came out of the womb weighing in at 10lb 8oz lol. Currently I am 400lb, 5'10" ; probably a US size 32/34 and it is flipping hard to find anything cute to wear or anything sexy to wear for my man. We are getting married in the fall and I'm working on losing weight but the struggle is real when it comes to food. I binge eat practically daily at every meal and I have snacks the size of a normal size meal sometimes too. Until I make significant progress in dropping sizes, it would be pretty darn awesome to have easier to find, bbw cuteness. I hope you have amazing success with your endeavor and wish you the best.
I was anxious, so I binged. I don't feel well
@RabidCoonhound07
I wonder why we do this to ourselves eh? It feels like the solution at the time, but very quickly afterwards you recall it's not! I try to take a mental note of that to draw on should I find myself turning to food again, but I may start keeping a diary as a more tangible thing to look at. Do you think that may work for you?
More importantly though, try not to judge yourself by your relationship with food. Binge eating doesn't make you a bad person. Nor does being overweight if it leads to that. It's just so very obvious for all to see isn't it? We can't judge people who are alcohol or drug dependent, addicted smokers or self harmers quite as easily as we can judge overweight people. Because we quite literally wear our pain for all to see.
Hey, here's an idea. Let's push for a society where we don't judge people at all, including ourselves. The only person you're harming is yourself. Don't condemn yourself for that.
I had bulimia in 2011 ~ 2012, and since I came back to eating normally I've just gained weight. Now I'm overweight and I feel terrible everytime anyone talks to me about my weight. Doctors are always telling me to lose weight and my parents are always censoring me. I feel like I'm going to get sick again and I feel like shit
@ClaireThinker5737
I'm no expert on bulimia, but I do know you're healthier to be carrying a bit of extra weight than to be purging. It's just trying to gain that healthy balance isn't it, but bulimia is not the way to do it. Do your family understand what you went through with bulimia? I'm sure they're not trying to push you back towards that behaviour, although it sounds like you're worried you may slip back that way.
It's good to have people in life who care enough about you to express their concern, but it can feel like an awful lot of pressure. Truth is, weight management is down to you. You have to be in that mindset not to be controlled by food any more. And that's so much easier to say than do. I was getting gentle pressure from my family to do something with my weight, but I spoke to them about how overwhelming this felt. I appreciated their love and consideration, but I didn't need them to tell me I'm fat. I know! Do you feel able to speak to your family about that? And then maybe chat with your doctor about some practical changes you could make to become healthier?
Well done on your recovery. You're doing just great!
I'm overweight and I think I have binge eating disorder. I don't know what to do or even how to react to that. I always feel like shit after eating but I don't know how to stop. I have no control over myself and I hate it. And I hate that I'm jealous of my skinny pretty perfect older sister. Arghhhhhh
@tealPlane993
How I wish I could leap in here with the solution to your behaviour around food, but alas I can't! Food controls me too it seems. I'm told that once you learn to like yourself, you'll have greater respect for your body and wish to nurture it more. I'm not sure whether it's that easy, but here's hoping!
In the meantime, just know you're not alone. And as for feelings of jealousy towards your 'perfect' sister, well nobody's perfect my friend. But imperfect is okay. Imperfect is me and it's you, and it's your sister. Let's learn to love our imperfections!
@BestIcanbe
thank you for your words of wisdom. Which I understand but I can't put to use. But thank you for the encouragement
I would just like to vent that people don't take obese/overweight people who have eating disorders seriously enough. One of my close friends was overweight, developed anorexia, lost weight, and people praised her for losing weight.
Also, people tend to doubt that I have an eating disorder, since I'm not underweight. I just wish that society wouldn't look at overweight and obese people as lazy, disgusting monsters that just eat too much. I've tried so hard to get healthy and lose weight, but binge eating disorder is making that impossible to accomplish.
@Mouse13
I totally get what you're saying! Most people don't see fat people as possibly having a disorder. My psych Dr and my counselor and my family (both parents and all 4 sisters are overweight struggled with binge eating) are the only people in my life who ever understood. Honestly, counseling was my greatest medicine for binge eating earlier in life. I had someone to help me be accountable with my food intake and she listened to my potential triggers for binge eating and more times than not I could prevent the binge. Currently I'm not in counseling and I'm at my highest weight of 400lbs. Fortunately I've found 7cups as an alternative just to share my thoughts and maybe that can be enough to hold off the binge for at least the next meal. For me I have to deal with binge eating one meal at a time. Thanks so much for your share!
Hello. I'm new here, I was actually researching for an online forum website regarding being overweight. There are things I need to get off my chest. I'm 15, I weigh [edited by Anomalia to remove weight specifics] lbs and I'm tired of my weight. I've been a big girl all my life, I got it from my mom, as she also was a big girl all her life. That changed when my mom lost weight, a lot. I don't recall her past weight, but I would say she was obese. She now is skinny and fits clothing in size S. I haven't done anything to change my weight, and I've been only gaining, gaining, gaining. I'm sick of my unhealthy diet, I'm fed up with how I don't exercise, I'm fed up with the way I look, I hate that I'm big, I hate that my self-esteem is low and I hate that I can't do anything about this. I've tried, for years, to diet, to exercise, to eat in smaller portions, I've tried starving myself. However, these diets, the exercise, the cleaner eating in smaller portions, starving myself?? It hasn't gone longer than a week. I'm so unmotivated, I keep telling myself, "Just one more chocolate cake won't hurt, I'll exercise tomorrow, it's too late. I won't eat for my next meal because I'm eating 6 pizzas." I'm not consistent because a part of me keeps telling me that I'm not at my worst weight. But I don't want to ever reach my worst weight! & I'm too shy to play sports with a team because I'm the big girl and everyone makes fun of the bigger person in the team/sighs at them for poor playing. (I suck at sports, so this has happened to me.) My dad wants me to join this boot camp class, but I'm too shy to do it. I know dancing is exercise, but I can't dance and I hate when people laugh at me for attempting. I can't run around the block, I can't do evening walks, I'm too scared of people watching me and judging me. I know I shouldn't pay attention to people and what they think of me but that's how it is and it isn't gonna change anytime soon. I don't love myself, I try to convince myself that I'm beautiful, but what I see in the mirror isn't beautiful and to be frankly, really honest with you... I'm a chubby girl, but the weight is more on my thighs, bum, tummy, and arms. When I look in the mirror, I don't see plus size. I don't think I look that bad, but I FEEL that bad and it kills me. When I was [edited] I thought, I'd never let myself get to [edited]. If I got to [edited], that'd be my breaking point and I'd get back to [edited]. I didn't want a double chin, I didn't want armpit flab, I didn't want saggy arms. I swore I would never let myself get any bigger. But it happened, I so carelessly let it happen. So now, here I am sulking to you because I need help. I binge eat, I don't get out of the house anymore, I'm too insecure to leave my room, I eat in my room, I eat for two people, I don't have friends, my life is on social media - it's on the internet. I want it to stop, I want to go back to being [edited]. I want to feel good, look good, I want to look good in pictures, I don't want big broad arms, I don't want to have to fit plus sizes. I want to be a better me. I don't want a double chin anymore, I don't want to be the bigger girl, I don't want to see the disappointment in my mom's eyes of me. So, if you guys can recommend any help to me, just little steps of how to stay consistent in healthy and clean eating, and to exercise more, tips on controlling the binge eating, anything. I'd appreciate that.
@valentinanova - Hi there, I'm glad you're reaching out and I'm sorry that it's been so tough lately! Habits like binge eating are hard to break, but they are possible. Everyone is a little different in what works for them, but I wanted to offer a few ideas in case any of them seem like they might help you. And if you would like some extra support or someone to talk to, you're welcome to message me!
You mentioned feeling like you couldn't exercise because you weren't comfortable having people see you doing it. While I definitely believe that when exercising, most people are too concerned with themselves to be judging other people around, I do understand how it can feel really uncomfortable. Are there maybe some things that you could do at home without having to worry about people seeing you? Maybe watching a yoga video and following along, or going up and down the stairs, things like that. Another thing that can sometimes be helpful without having to seem like exercising as much is to just start taking slightly longer paths places. So if you're walking in from a parking lot, park further away. If you're only going a couple levels up, take the stairs instead of the elevator. If there are two paths, but one is 5 more minutes of walking, try that one. It doesn't seem like a lot, which can make it less overwhelming in the moment, but it can add up! One other option might be to see if someone you trust would go with you for any of the activities that sound promising - like you mentioned not feeling okay going on an evening walk, but would it feel safer with a friend or with your mom?
In terms of not binging, I think there are also a few things worth thinking about. One thing that stood out to me is your idea about "I can just skip the next meal to make up for this". It's really tempting to do that, but often restricting leads to more binging because it makes our bodies not sure when they're going to get food again. After a binge, the best thing for your body is to forgive yourself, think about if there's a way to avoid it in the future, but then move forward - no punishing yourself, no starving to make up for it, just moving forward.
Do you notice that there are certain times that you tend to binge? This could be times of the day, foods that trigger it, feelings you have right before, etc. Finding patterns can help because then you can work on specific plans for those triggers rather than trying to combat it at every turn. Likewise, are there times that you don't binge? Like if you are with a friend or if you're feeling busy or whatever else?
When you have the urge to binge, one thing that I have found helpful is to play a bit of a 'waiting game'. I tell myself that I'm allowed to have whatever it is I want, but I have to wait 20 minutes first. Because I've given myself permission, that often calms my mind down enough to stop thinking about it constantly, and then I use those 20 minutes to focus on another coping skill, a distraction, talking to someone, etc. Sometimes at the end of the 20 minutes, I still really have the urge and that's okay. But sometimes 20 minutes is just long enough to let the urge go.
Hope some of this is helpful! Take care, lovely, and please try to be kind to yourself.
