My little disability space [TW]
Hi! My name is Avy. I'm 15 years old. Basically I am going to use this space to rant about pain, the affects of my disability, and weird little things about it no one notices.
Let me explain my story a little bit:
So in 2021 I was playing soccer and I got stepped on, and then stepped on again early 2022. I went to my doctor and she sent me to an orthopedic doctor. That was when the surgeon said he was surprised I hadn't been to see him sooner. Because of my injury I ended up with severe tendinitis and arthritis in my foot. I was sent to physical therapy. Through months of intense physical therapy 4 times a week and going to the surgeon every 3 weeks, he figured this out. I have naturally high arches, it runs in my family. But for some reason the tendons in my foot stopped growing when I was about 7. Which explains why my feet have always hurt. As I'm getting older and taller it's getting worse and one day the tendons in my feet will snap. I also have tri-pod foot (that's what he called it) from my heels being misaligned. Basically only 3 really small points on my feet ever touch the ground. Not even my toes 😨. I've gone through 2 pairs of inserts, I do physical therapy every dang day, and nothings working. Basically now my only option is surgery. Since I've been limping for 2 years my knee has been affected and so has my hips. This whole process has been really isolating and discouraging. I kind of just want it over.
Anyway lots of weird things happen so I'll share them here!
@AvyIsKing
Hi Avy, I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your foot and the impact it's had on your life. It must be incredibly tough dealing with severe tendinitis, arthritis, and the prospect of surgery at such a young age. Your resilience and determination through intense physical therapy are commendable, and I hope the surgical option brings you the relief and healing you deserve. If you ever need to share more or just want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out here.
@tinywhisper11
chainsaws are fancy (: i promise i wont scream, im actually pretty easy going when t comes to that stuff
@AvyIsKing 😂😂😂😂 I don't think I'd make a good doctor😂😂😂 hugs you tightly ❤ how are you feeling today?
@Tinywhisper11
yesterday was a good day (: i went out and saw my friends and my foot did go numb but i ended up being ok. my mom is sick so im taking care of the entire house, so im super super tired. not sure why im so tired
@AvyIsKing I'm glad you had a good day ❤ pain makes you tired, also stress of trying to run a house, bless you ❤ I hope your mum knows how very lucky she is to have you ❤ please try not to overdo it too much though around the house, your health comes first ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
had to check in for my appointment yesterday :0 i had to answer a lot of questions online, there were some that was like idk sad? one of the questions was 'ive had to quit what im doing because I've been in too much pain' and then pick how often it happens, its just quite sad, because I've lost so much of my life to my foot TvT
i have been working out though, im trying to get a stronger core, for band so i can breathe better (: i cant do any of my old core exercises because they involved my feet (like a plank) so I've just been doing 100 sit ups xD my dad said i cant get abs because no man in their right mind would want a girl with abs. macon doesn't seem to mind, he just cares im happy and as healthy as i can be.
I had a pretty bad 'episode' last night. idk what to call it, i just call it an episode. i was washing the dishes and my hand started to feel tingly and weird. it was shaking really bad and i kept feeling like there was water running down my leg. my mom was scared but i was fine, i knew it was just weird you know? it passed eventually, and then last night, my entire left side (same side as the hand and leg) was tingly and weird and my hand was really numb and my right foot (my bad foot) started hurting really really bad. i was up really late xD
@AvyIsKing poor you 😥 I know it's upsetting when you have to think about things you can't do, and things you wish you could, it's very hard, hugs you tightly ❤ do the doctors know about these little episodes, cause I think it's important you tell them, even if you don't think it's anything. Best to be safe ❤❤ I'm here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 they dont know yet, because these are more recent, but ill tell them on Monday :0
hugssss <3 <3 love you
heyyyy
so my pain has gotten worse. yesterday i over-did it at girl scouts and I've been in unbearable pain since. it comes in waves so ill be like moderately hurting then 5 minutes later I'm crying and silently screaming. it hurts so bad. my friend is coming over (the one whos mum had covid) and I'm going to clean my room as much as possible. my mum is in the bath, I'm going to ask her to maybe call the hospital today, let them know its gotten really bad. i might end up in the emergency room, I dunno. my mom doesn't want me taking opioids but nothing else is working. ): I'm so sick of it hurting, I'm so tired, I want all of this to just go away
@AvyIsKing 😞 did your mum call the hospital?? Dw about cleaning your room, I'm sure your friend will understand. I wish those doctors would hurry up with treatment for you. It's hard being in constant pain. You don't deserve to go through all this. 😢 hugs you tightly ❤❤ wait! So it's your mum that doesn't like you taking painkillers??
@Tinywhisper11 she hasn't called yet, she's going to call tomorrow. I ended up taking a nap, I haven't really slept in a few days. She doesn't want me taking anything stronger than what I'm already on. And I guess she's just made me not like it either.
@AvyIsKing I'm glad you napped ❤ is your pain levels a bit lower now you napped?? Well you know what, I think meds are a life saver. I don't think I'd survive physically or mentally without mine.They can be a bad thing, but their there to help you ❤ I'd rather take the help than not. But lots of people don't like meds, so I do understand. Ask your mum, again try get her to ring, the more you keep on to the doctors, the quicker they'll move their butts. Have fun with your friend ❤ and please take it easy ❤❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@tinywhisper11
we have a medical update !!!!! so my mum called my doctors while i was sleeping, so here's whats new (:
tomorrow morning first thing i am going to see my orthotic doctor to get my new inserts
first thing thursday morning (before my band trip, i leave at 12 eheheehehehehe) i go and see the surgeon. there is not much they can do for pain, but they want me to stop putting weight on my leg, so i will most likely end up in a boot xD
im excited and happy (:
@AvyIsKing inserts? Is that a operation?? Good luck sweetie ❤ don't worry it will go well, message me as soon as your out of hospital ok? A boot, I've seen those I really hope that helps ❤❤❤ hey! Now you only have to buy one shoe at a time, save money😁😁😁😁 also ask for a wheelchair. I love you ❤❤ I'm right here for you ❤❤ goodluck and yaaaay! Finally ❤
@Tinywhisper11 ok so inserts are basically little things that go in my shoes, custom fit to my feet. Its a pretty easy process, I just go and wait for a bit. Thursday is going to suck though, because things have gotten worse and the lady todsy said my dr might just say screw the test and schedule me for surgery
Ok so i forgot all about this so here's how today went!
Moderate pain day,my friend is going to give me her crutches to borrow. Drs app went well, I'm getting that test done, most likely in may. THe lady doesn't doubt ill need surgery, and she told me a bit more about it, which I knew but my mom was scared. Most likely they will break my bones this summer. The lady asked if there is any family history of disorders such as CMT (what I did researchon) and my mum said no but my dad has high arches too, and the lady said she might refer me to a genetic doctor because it could be tuat.
@AvyIsKing that does sound scary, but they know what their doing, I know you want to go on the band trip. But health first yeah? The quicker the better ❤❤❤ I'm so proud of how brave your being through all this, I really hope they can fix you up properly ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 hugssss ❤️❤️ me too ❤️❤️ I won't go on the trip unless i know i can handle itn
@AvyIsKing there will be other trips. But you never know maybe you will be able to go on the trip still ❤ and when your better you can plan cool day trips with your friends, and go roller skating without any pain🤗 ❤ hugs you tightly
@Tinywhisper11 hugs <3 im going to talk to my doctor thursday, seeing if he advises me not to go. i shouldn't be on my feet much :0 lots of sitting and practicing, and swimming which is great for my foot
@AvyIsKing bless you. Your doing so amazingly well with all this ❤ swimming is good for your foot? Wow! I wouldn't of thought that. I've never been in a swimming pool or the sea. But probably best , I don't think my wheelchair floats😁😁 hugs you tightly ❤❤ let me know how it goes tomorrow ❤
@tinywhisper11 water is overrated aha, im allergic lolll! Today is going to be a really hard day, we are TW putting jeffys sister to sleep. Everyone is sad. Im getting my crutches tho
@AvyIsKing oh no😞 is jeffys sister, your sisters bunny? Bless you all 😢 crutches are great tho ❤❤hugs you tightly, I'm sorry sweetie
@Tinywhisper11 we just got home from the vet. Yeah she was my sister's bunny. Hugs you really tight. Here's a picture of lucky, she was 7
@AvyIsKing awwww she's so cute ❤ I'm really sorry sweetie. But 7 is pretty old in bunny years😥 wraps you in a cosy blanket and cuddles you up ❤ are you ok?
@Tinywhisper11
I'm doing okay. Just trying to get ready for tomorrow. She was really old, we only had to because she was paralyzed from the waist down. My sister is jokingly mad at jeffy because he's almost 8 and still being crazy.
Idk I'm just sad
@AvyIsKing it's hard looking a family member, you all love so much ❤ but it was the kindest thing to do ❤ hey! Yeah it's your trip tomorrow, have lots of fun ❤ and I'm sure being with your friends will cheer you up ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@tinywhisper11
Loosing her is just bringing back all I've lost. My friend I thought had passed away this fall is alive, just disappeared. I was missing them and emailed them today. I was happy but they said that they can't talk to me anymore, being friends with me was a mistake and they were sorry and said goodbye 🥺🥺 it's been a really really hard year for me.
@AvyIsKing 😥 your a good friend ❤❤ you really are the sweetest kindest person in the whole world. And even with all the pain and everything your going through. Your still amazing and the best l oving girl ever ❤I'm glad that person is ok, but that's their problem, their the one who's missing out on having the chance to be your friend. Looking Lucky, is very upsetting and triggering, it's ok for you to be upset and reminded about sad things right now. Keeps hugging you all day long ❤
@Tinywhisper11 hugs ❤❤ I'm just really sad right now, and I don't want to be. I should be happy considering I'm going on a trip tomorrow. I should be grateful for what I have, not what I've lost I guess
@AvyIsKing it's ok to be sad, it's good to cry, let yourself cry, and feel for a bit ❤ be kind to yourself ❤ then in a few hours, hopefully the excitement of tonmorow, will take over, and you'll be ready to put your smile on and get ready. Hugsss you tightly ❤ it's so gonna be ok ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I'm home alone, I'm crying a bit. I guess that's healthy aha. I'm excited for tomorrow, I probably won't feel excited til after I go to the surgeon lol ❤❤❤
@AvyIsKing hugs you tightly ❤ how are you feeling now? I know how upsetting it is, bless you ❤ are you nervous about seeing the surgeon?? Please let me know what happens. Hugs you again ❤ I love you ❤ jeffy will cheer you up ❤
@tinywhisper11
I just got back. So surgery is a definite they just need to know from the study if it's bone or tendon. I got a walking boot, his name is Karl hehe also jeffy says heyyyyy
@AvyIsKing you named your boot 😂😂😂😂😂😂 so your ok to go tommorow??? And thats good I think surgery would have the best outcome for you ❤❤ and the sooner the better ❤
@Tinywhisper11 yes I did! And I'm all good to go (:
I changed his name to Leo 😔 mostly because I have a Karl already. I decorated Leo with stickers
@AvyIsKing leo and karl are both great names ❤❤ and hey! That boot looks pretty cool, and your stickers make it look very pretty😍 and yaaay! You can go ❤❤❤ time to get your excited face on😁 I'm so happy you can go, and have fun ❤❤ yaaaay
@Tinywhisper11 I'm so excited!! We are leaving In about an hour and a half !!!! ❤❤❤ I love you
@AvyIsKing oh wow! Yyaaaaaaayyy! Have lots of fun, quick pack everything ❤❤❤ yaaay I love you more ❤