Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Grief over the things I'll never be able to do

asthesunsets June 3rd

Sometimes, when I listen to music, all I want to do is get up and dance. But, as I try to express the song with my body, my leg fails or I lose balance and then I'm seated again.

I wanted to run, but that hurts my back and I trip over my own feet.

I wanted to swim, but my feet won't move to push me forward. My arms easily get tired by working alone.

I wanted to go on long walks on a nightmarket or on the beach.

I wanted to play football, too. Not watch as everyone had fun without me.

I feel like I'm grieving everyday over the things I can't do. Sometimes it gets really disheartening.

Especially for dancing... I love dancing, I have talent for it, but my body won't listen to me and I can't move it the way I want and I don't have the balance needed for it. It makes me so sad, even more so when I see others dancing and enjoying themselves and I can't. It's hard to deal with.


7
Tinywhisper11 June 3rd

@asthesunsets I hear you, having disabilities can be crushing. There's many things I'd love to do to. For a while all I wanted was to look like other girls my age, be like other girls, and it made me very depressed. So I understand how your feeling.😥 but hey! We can still do lots of things, and that's what we need to focus on. Can you make some things you like doing that's in your ability range??

MistyMagic June 3rd

@asthesunsets Hi! Welcome to 7 Cups and the Disability Support Community. I am glad you have found us and posted here.  The title of your post is very true. We do grieve over what we can no longer do when disability or illness takes away the opportunity and physical ability.

It is hard to deal with this, I agree, and I am sure many others here will too.  Distraction is a good thing to try and use, and to concentrate on new things we can do. 

 

Listening - One Step At A Time!

@asthesunsets. I agree and relate to what you and others have said.It’s very hard to not be able to do so many things that we want to do. I hope that we can give you some comfort and support here.

1 reply
asthesunsets OP June 9th

Thank you, just having people who understand what I'm going through already helps a lot ❤️

load more
slowdecline48 June 8th

Yes. You are grieving the death of the old version of yourself, as it has been replaced by the new disabled version of you. I did that a lot in the first two years after my diagnosis...occasionally, I still do.

The only solution I know of is to ignore what you can't do, as much as possible. And focus on the things you can do.

2 replies
slowdecline48 June 9th

@asthesunsets

asthesunsets OP June 9th

I've been disabled since birth, actually. But thank you for the advice and support, it's much appreciated. ❤️

load more