Interview about being Deaf with FrenchMarbles
@FrenchMarbles was kind enough to chat about his experiences being a deaf oral, using speech & sign language. Welcome FrenchMarbles!
Hi, my name is Frenchmarbles, I’ve been a listener on this website since 2014 and I am a Quality Mentor in the Listening Coaching track.
Were you born deaf? How did you learn oral speech?
Yes, I was born Deaf, so the disability name I have is called Mondini Dysplasia which basically means I have less surface area in my cochlear's [To refresh peoples mind what a cochlear does, so it is responsible for transferring physical sounds into electrical signals for your brain to understand] and because I have less surface area, it means while everything else works, the sound isn’t going to my brain so I can’t register it as a sound. I couldn’t talk until I was seven years of age and I’ve had fifteen years of speech and language therapy to help me talk.
You know both American Sign Language (ASL) and British Sign Language (BSL). Why did you decide to learn both?
I did not learn british sign language until I was about 17 years of age when I went to my local deaf youth drama group and saw people my age and similar disability being able to communicate with each other with such ease, I remember feeling incredibly jealous because I had to lipread and struggle through education simply because I was never told that I could learn sign language. Anyway, I know American Sign Language because it is the worlds most used sign language and with friends across the globe if they know sign language it’s probably american sign language.
How similar are the 2 languages? Do they share a lot of signs?
This is a common misconception I’m afraid, the two languages similarities is that they use their hands to communicate. Otherwise it is it’s own language, so why IS sign language so different in each country? For example American Sign Language, French Sign Language, Australian Sign Language, why is there not ONE universal sign language? It’s the same thing as spoken languages, each country has it’s own rich culture and each sign has it’s own handshape and context. That’s what I find amazing about sign language, and we actually have accents in sign language as well! So for the colour ‘yellow’ for example, has over 40 variations across the United Kingdom and it works the same way as accents work, when you are from a particular place, the community talks a certain way and it’s not noticeable of the ‘accent’ until you communicate with someone outside that community. It’s fascinating.
Another thing to point out as well is that the alphabet is very different between American Sign Language and British Sign Language, in American Sign Language they use one hand for the entire alphabet whereas in British Sign Language they use two hands. Isn’t that amazing?!
If someone else knows all the same language as you, what’s your favourite language & method of communication?
At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter does it? I don’t enjoy people ha! I mean, in all honesty I do prefer English in the text form so there are no barriers. If it is in person then I do prefer British Sign Language.
Do you know many non-Deaf people who know a sign language?
The problem I face on the daily is I will hear so many people say ‘Oh em gee I wanna learn sign language whoohoo’ and all they care about is how to swear in sign language which is just dumb. Not only that but it then passes the message to the community that their language is funny and not valid whatsoever. There are non-Deaf people who know sign language sure, they tend to have family or friends who are deaf and so they can communicate with us.
How well can you hear with a cochlear implant?
There is a common misconception where people think as soon as deaf people get fitted for a cochlear implant then they are no longer considered ‘deaf’ and will be able to function like everybody else. That’s very much wrong. To me, the cochlear implant gives me the electrical signals that my ear fails to do, yes so technically I can register the sound but I cannot understand it, I need to use clues from peoples facial expressions, the lip pattern for me to understand what is being said. It’s a LOT of work, certainly more than people would realise!
Do you wear your cochlear device most of the time?
Yes I do! I wake up and wear it up until when I go to sleep, once it’s on I barely notice it. When we first get fitted with the implant, we’re told it’s best to wear it every waking moment because what happens is that there is new stimulation in the brain and I get overwhelmed with sound, but over time it calms down because the brain recognises the same sounds and knows I am not focusing on them (i.e not a danger) and my brain can zone out those sounds, for example if I’m in the office and i’m next to a clock, initially i will hear the tick tocks but after a few hours I don’t really hear it unless I focus on the sound. The brain really IS amazing!
What do you use for an alarm in the morning?
I know there are technology out there to vibrate the bed or the mattress or the pillows but I personally can’t sleep well with them because really, it is just a block of plastic that you’re meant to sleep on top, and it’s just not comfortable, and having JUST beat insomnia, I find it’s easier to be more in line with the sun, so when the sun is out I tend to wake up naturally because I don’t sleep with the blinds or curtains closed so I can lie in bed and watch the stars and fall asleep, then when it is sunrise, usually at 5am(ish) I will wake up naturally.
What other technology do you find beneficial?
With technology changing every day, I find things like Text Relay to be phenomenal. Let me explain to you about that. In the United Kingdom there are laws being passed to ensure the equality of those with disabilities, and one of them is that everyone should have the ability to contact others, and so we have an app on the computer and phone which means we’re able to call anybody and the ‘relayer’ would relay what is being said back and forth which means I am able to not feel so isolated, plus completely free, which is amazing.
Did you go to a Deaf school? What was your experience like and would you recommend it?
I went to mainstream school meaning it was a regular school with the extra support for those with deafness, which means when my class usually went to languages class like french or spanish, I would be in a different class specifically for the deaf and we would receive extra support over any subjects I struggled with.
Here is where things can get a little controversial but on paper it’s a great idea to have a school specifically for the deaf because obviously in theory there are going to be no communication issues however the standards between mainstream school and deaf schools are huge. For example, my partner actually went to a Deaf school and his skills in English are extraordinarily poor because they don’t teach at the same level, instead it’s the bare minimum. For those who leave school at 18 in a deaf school setting actually leave with a reading age between 6 to 8 meaning they struggle because they were not given the same opportunities as their hearing peers.
What is the biggest challenge you've faced being Deaf?
It’s a situation I often find myself, so I cannot hear well but after fifteen years of speech therapy and being ‘trained’ in how to be articulate, it’s actually gone against me in more ways than one, because I don’t ‘sound’ deaf, it means that it opens up opportunities to be discriminated. An example of this would be, say I needed to have an interpreter for a meeting, people don’t realise JUST how deaf I am, I mean without my hearing aids, the quietest sounds I can actually hear is 120 decibels which is equivalent of an ambulance siren, a gun shot, an aircraft takeoff, so to me they would be a whisper.
Having been discriminated several times, it has destroyed my self-confidence, I mean it’s why I enjoy 7Cups a lot, because it removes any barriers for communication and I find it so easy to understand what is being said. It’s almost my escape if I’m being perfectly honest.
What is something you wish more people knew about Deaf people?
No two deaf people are the same, we all have our own trauma thanks to the hearing society and we’ve dealt with it in different ways, some for the good, some for the bad, but just know we’re all on a journey and it’s not easy at the best of times so when you talk to a deaf person, give them the benefit of patience and the rewards will be endless.
What is something you would like us to know about you?
I am a photographer, you see, when the world is shut off audibly, I love the visuals and enjoy taking photographs, and I’m also a poet, but in the ‘raw’ sense meaning I tend to write about the trauma in my life from bad relationships, to homeless , to addiction, but it makes me a better person since I’ve rised above it all.
Some of the things I learned in this interview were surprising to me and I really appreciate his time. Thanks so much FrenchMarbles!
Learn more about the interview series HERE.
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Great read! Thank you for doing it. @FrenchMarbles @AffyAvo
@AffyAvo thank you for conducting this, it's wonderful.
I absolutely loved reading this, @FrenchMarbles you are such a creative mind. From photography to writing? Those are all the things I love doing!
Thank you for sharing your experiences regarding the stigma deaf people face in society. It seems like our society has built these standards and barricades, making people have to 'fix' themselves to be integrated into the world.
I can't imagine how hurtful it was, to have people discriminate you and determine by their own selves how deaf you are and deny you of the accommodations you need. It's the audacity for me.
I do hope that through discussions like these, we begin to break down those barriers. No discrimination, no stigmatisation, just, respect, kindness and inclusivity.
@AffyAvo
@FrenchMarbles
Hi Affy! 😊❤️ Thank you so very much for this forum post, conducting the interview and I personally enjoyed your incredibly well thought out questions! *high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️
Hi Frenchie! 😊❤️ Thank you so very much for handing yourself over to the interview process, your incredibly well thought out responses and for sharing of yourself.
I love these interview series as it really does "humanize" all of us here on this site. There is a person behind the screen with a heart, a soul, a pulse. People that hurt just like we all do from time to time! (7 cups and our founder, Glen, believes in what is called the "Wounded Healer"). Thank you for allowing us to get to know one of our teammates even better!
I believe in a concept called "unity in diversity". We are big bunch of diverse people here on this site and for me, I think it's quite beautiful! ❤️
Thank you for sharing your challenges as you very well may be letting others here on the site, that have gone through similar struggles, know that they are not alone!
I appreciate you highlighting your experiences also with the educational system, as in being educated via "mainstream" as opposed to a school for the deaf. I imagine you of all people would be sitting at a certain vantage point to see the differences in personal outcomes.
I know someone in real life who is deaf, were educated their entire life by going to a school for the deaf. They too speak. Not sure why, but I am someone that can understand them completely. Others around me are surprised that I can understand each and every word while others cannot. I don't know sign language but many times I am an interpreter for them when they have had to call others in to help with a variety of things that also don't know sign language. They simply speak to me, I look at the other party and let them know what is being communicated.
I imagine there is so much value to what you said about noticing facial expressions, body language and watching someones lips. You can still hear their "tone" and "voice inflection" as well as cadence and speed of speech. I have a tendency to be highly in tuned with things of that nature with anyone, hearing impaired or not.
I, for one, find your choice of work brilliant, simply brilliant my friend! Really awesome to read how you rely on your circadian rhythms (light versus dark) as your natural alarm clock! Woo hooo! You might be way ahead of the game with this one and potentially have less sleep problems. Sleep problems are experienced by many and others could probably learn a great deal from you in that way as well!
I'm so happy that you have found a home here on 7 cups! ❤️ This to me is yet another "hero" story on how 7 cups "levels the playing field"! We are all equals here, come one, come all!
*high fives* 😊 big *hugs* ❤️ and keep rocking the house my friend! 😊
@AffyAvo @frenchmarbles @mynameisnicole
Okay, this is amazing.
The questions are perfectly written with a lovely natural flow. Go Affy!!
Marble, your answers are detailed and clear, providing with us with so much insight. So well done, honestly.
Thank you all bunches for this interview 💕💛
Thanks everyone, @FrenchMarbles really did the heavy lifting with the interview!
I was a bit surprised at the difference with 1 hand vs. 2 for the alphabet! When a sign language interpreter is used I do start to fall into the misconception that it's 'signed English' (like we can write what someone says) even though I know it's a separate language. Maybe ASL is a language I will pick up one day, I learned a small amount in high school.
@AffyAvo such a great interview! When I used to do those interviews it was a great learning experience every single time. ❤️
@FrenchMarbles such insightful answers. Thanks so much for it! :)
You invoked my curiosity in numbers. You mentioned American Sign Language is the most used Sign Language in the world. That's an amazing topic, it boggles my mind estimating that 1% of the American population uses ASL and concluding if 1% if the Chinese population used Chinese Sign Language then the ranking would look different. :)
I have tried to find references for your statement. While I understand it's very difficult to gather statistics for this topic I thought I try my chance and ask: Can you help me find a source to use in my scientific papers?
@FrenchMarbles thanks so much. :) Sadly it's just a statement there with no reference. Still very interesting and awesome! I'll look further hopefully I'll find one usable for scientific writing.
@AffyAvo @ FrenchMarbles
Hi there,
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading the interview. I found it to be surprising, interesting and so thought provoking.
Take care guys 😀🌹
This taught me a lot!
@AffyAvo I've realized a lot from this interview. Thank you so much
@FrenchMarbles You're amazing and thoughtful! Thank you for sharing with us ❤️
Thank you for doing this interview @AffyAvo and @FrenchMarbles. I've really learned a lot and I love the vibe that I get from you, French. I have been wanting to learn sign language for a long time and I already know some basics. But one thing that's holding me back is that I don't know which language I should learn. Do you have a suggestion? What makes the most sense?