i'm just tired of this, i'm tired of everything (rant)
recovery has no right to be this hard. I didn't choose to go through this and I just feel like im a burden on everyone around me. I feel like everyone just puts up with because they pity me. I feel like no one really cares. I feel like I am completely alone and even the people who have helped me in the past are tired of helping me now.
I feel like I can't be vulnerable, I am so guarded with everyone, I can't be truthful or let people see anyone other than the perfect person they think I am. I am struggling so much inside and I feel like no one notices that anything is wrong. that's my fault I suppose, for not letting them think differently.
I've just been dealing with this for so long, and I feel like im just did, I can't do anything right anymore. everything is building up again and this time I feel like I can't fight it again.
I just want to relapse and I want to scream out and cry out for someone to notice desperately but at the same time, I want them to never know the real me and always see the mask.
im just tired of my mind
@anabellamia1189
I know I'm a stranger but I wanted to say that I am sorry to see you suffering. For context I'm going through something similar
You don't have to believe me, because I remember really hating it being forced on me. But we all have faults, we all fall. And there will always be someone who will care for you at your best and your worst. Yeah I don't have proof but I can say I care at least. At least for you as a fellow human.
Still sucks feeling like people only stick around out of pity though. Sometimes it can be worse than being cast outright 
Sometimes for people it doesn't matter very much that their feelings don't dictate the truth. Sometimes they know, but the feeling is still there.
Well, I hope tomorrow is better to you. Or at the very least that you can feel better soon. Take care.
