October 2023 Events - National Depression Awareness Month

@EmmaE

Hi, Emma,

1. What does depression mean to you/how has it affected you or someone you know? It is a beast that rules over me. When I wake up, I am depressed deeply. I need medication, vitamins and caffeine to put me in a better mood. And sometimes that doesn't work. It keeps me in my bed.
2. What is a book, movie, or song that has had a positive impact on your mental health and why? I'm sure there are some but I can't think of them right now.
   
3. What's one thing you're grateful for, no matter how big or small? God and my cat Chloe.

Things are going well. My parents are doing better so that is making my life a little easier. @EmmaE

1 Depresion is the thing that makes me feel like a bad person, the cold empty feeling where I struggle to feel. On my worst days it's the thing that leaves me with no interest on anything starting at a wall. It's the thing that steals my smile and laughter and makes me feel hopeless.

On my best days depression is the thing I look at as an enemy I can overcome and I put in as much extra as I can so the next low won't be so bad.

2 Fight song by Rachel Platten

3 I am grateful I that I always find a positive even if small and if I don't my friend/family will.

@EmmaE

@EmmaE

Recently there was a post with a similar question about what depression means to so many people and I understand it's different for everyone and thats totally okay 💛

For me . It's getting up in the morning yet still feeling this burden, this hurt inside of you that you can't let go of because it will always break you to know that you are shattered. It's like life becomes a tower of cards. Once you build it , it will fall apart over and over and you have to keep building it yet you become tired of this constant silence ringing inside of your ear because the words can't come out of you. The story my lips tell feel so much different to the story in my mind. So I let go of friendships and families and let myself loom in the darkness and let my self esteem crumble like biscuits . Let the world kill me with this .. darkness I sit in. Yet this darkness is almost my comfort. It's so beautiful its better than so much things I've seen in the light. So you live among others because that's what you have to do, you become silent because that will hurt others less, the things you once enjoyed are now useless to you because you have lost the motivation to love anything. You feel alone even in the biggest crowd. Even something as simple as getting out of bed becomes harder. You have this headache that lasts forever. And the only thing you rely on is to either self harm or scream in the middle of a field where no one can hear you. Yet this all seems like a bad dream or a film. You try to convince yourself that you will wake up. You spend your silence in the crowd you never belong in. Because thats the only way to fit in. The only way to escape. Even sleeping is hard so you move from one side of the bed to the next. I hate everyone and everything yet I try to put a smile on my face and the only words that come out of your mouth is that im fine. Deep inside i know im not but lets hope i just am for the sake of living. Cant be bothered to reply to the messages or text. Decline the phone calls. Everything just falls into a new rhythm. And so once again i cry and scream in fear and melt in shame. And once again.. Depression is everyone saying I'm not trying . But I keep trying. Depression is when everyone misunderstands you and you try to be understood.

I think I've gone insane.

Depression is an event, a feeling that we come upon in a life. A mental state 💛 but to whoever is reading Depression doesn't define you as a person and stigmas in society about depression don't reflect on you 💛

I have loved watching and reading books/videos about depression and documentaries about mental health to learn more 💛 documentaries is something I'm fond of!

And in the last check in in the September post about Grattitude I discussed casual magic 💛 a term used to describe finding beauty in the simple things in life than waiting for the big things to happend. Like being able to breathe. And move. And be human just for one more day. And despite all the pain your still here. Like appreciating the light coming into the room or the fact that you can be you 💛 to be grateful for the howl of the trees or the colours of nature. Just the small things in life! ❤️ of course you can check out the Grattitude post of September where describe this in more detail!

Love you all 🤎 you got this and I'm proud of you!

Bunny

@EmmaE

1. Depression had a major effect on my daily life until I decided to seek professional help. I had been absent from my work many times because I got paralyzed or had digestion issues. I hope more people realize how important mental health is to seek out professional help as it impacts me in a way more positive way.
2. A book called I Hate You Don't Leave Le by Hal Straus has a positive impact on understanding my issue as depression is the comorbid of my BPD. Understanding how my mind works from a "normal" perspective gives me an insight into how to manage my behavior in day-to-day life.
3. No matter how big or small, other's care is the one thing that I'm really grateful for.

Depression had always been like a rollercoaster ride for me, with unexpected swerves, drops, and climbs. When it is expected, it can last for hours, days, weeks, or months.

There's no specific book, movie, or song that has a positive impact.. But most songs from my music playlist is a good mood uplifter, especially the ones with a cheery tune.

One thing I'm grateful for.. that I'm still alive.. survived traumas and accidents when I was younger.

@EmmaE

@EmmaE

Depression to me is like I am constantly exhausted mentally physically.I don't feel like talking to people nor going out. I just constantly feel worthless and I can't seem to stop crying myself to sleep everytime. Now it's different I don't cry..it's like I can't put on my mask n smile like I used to Infront of ppl ..it just hurt so much that I feel nothing . May be just empty. I am tired of people and I just want to crawl inside my blanket and wish it could get better. I don't find motivation to do anything I loved doing. Initially I used to feel angry sad n crying helped. Now I don't feel anything. It's just numb . I don't know how long I can survive. I am feeling like a trapped soul. Waiting for my demons to take me away. I was scared of the demons in my scared not anymore. I think even they can't hurt me anymore I give in.. it's hard I don't want another day