@olliegrace
I'm sorry to hear that you are having suicidal thoughts. I think the answer you're looking for is more complex than just a straightforward answer. What has helped me is a combination of different things:
Step 1) Talk to a professional - A professional can help guide you towards the right path. I would suggest talking to a pychiatrist but if you don't have one you can talk to your family doctor. Your doctor can help you find a phychiatrist.
Step 2) Start counselling/ start therapy- Talk therapy can go a long way. Sometimes, all people need is to talk to someone and/or do some therapy exercises. If you can't afford counselling services, you can ask a listener to be a long term listener for you here on 7 Cups. Obviously, a professional counselor has more to offer but 7 Cups is somewhere to start.
Step 3) Track your mood and journal - It is important to track your mood so you can look back and see how your feeling throughout the week. Does your mood change or stay the same? Journalling can help you understand yourself better. You can start by asking these questions: What emotions do you have today? If there are any negative emotions, what has triggered them today?
Step 4) Keep yourself busy - Distractions can be used when you are feeling very low or having bad thoughts. You can do a hobby, or something as simple as eating your favourite food and watching TV.
Step 5) Seek help if the thougths get worse - There are many crisis lines you can call. This can be used if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or any bad thoughts.
Step 6) Set short term goals - This is very important because I know for a fact that depression makes you stay in bed all day everyday. By making short term goals, you can work towards something. It can be something as simple as making the bed or taking a shower, or you can do bigger goals like finishing a painting or starting school. I would suggest to start small because it is easy to get overwhelemed.
HOW TO MAKE SMART GOALS
Specific - Is this goal general or specific? Try to make your goal as detailed and specific as possible.
Measurable - Is this goal better measured by a yes or no (can I climb this mountain, yes) or is there a measurement involved (such as a goal of 80% on a test). Both of these options are good.
Attainable and reasonable - Can this goal be achieved or are the standards too high?
Timely - Is there a time that you want this to be completed by?
I hope this helps. If you want to contact me go to my profile https://www.7cups.com/@sellistens , pm me and let me know it's you
xoxo,
sel