Is my depression going to push everyone away from me?
I'm currently suffering with depression and I'm recently moving away from being suicidal, despite the depression getting worse.
I'm very open about it, trying to reach out to the people around me for help, but it's become apparent that those people don't actually want to help. I'm worried that the people around me are going to be pushed away from me or if they're pushing me away because of it.
I understand it's hard to deal with someone who's depressed, but it's not easy to pretend it's not there either.
I don't know if I want therapy or counselling since that would make my parent aware of it, and my situation could get worse if I tell them. I tried to do online counselling, but I always get too scared in the end.
Should I just try to look happy instead?
What should I do? I don't want to lose them.
@Jade225
Having your parents knowing would be very helpful. You would have more support.
So yes I believe you should go with therapy. Therapy is super helpful and gives you tools to deal with things in your daily basics.
@Booklover95
I'd certainly tell my parents if it would help.
My older brother and older sister also go through what I go through, and they both regret telling them.
My mum decided it was a good idea to force my brother to go on a social interaction program he never agreed to, and I've been to the place he had to go and I honestly had to leave afyer 5 minutes.
Is online therapy and in-person therapy much different?
@Jade225
Seems that your mother has no education on mental illness. Forcing a mental ill person to do a program of that is the most idiotic thing I've heard...
Send my love to your siblings for me.
Well I never had online therapy, only in person. I enjoy in person since you have eye contact and feels more personal, if that makes sense?
But since you mentioned that about your mother , maybe try to go for a trial online. 7cups is a good place with alot of professionals so you would have good help.
@Jade225. It may take time to find a counselor or therapist who works out for you. I have had several in person only one of which worked well with me, and ive had one online who was very helpful. For me it was important in therapy that we not only talk but establish goals so i could see my progress.
My mom was not helpful either and i am sorry you are going through this struggle too.
@Jade225
hey Hang in there ! we at 7cups have got your back! trust me i have been where you are.. i know how you r feeling right now
u r not gonna loose them .. I PROMISE YOU ,, U MAY NOT KNOW ME ..BUT TRUST ME
.talk with a listener in 7cups cuz its good to open up to a stranger knowing that they wont judge you..
if u feel comfortable with telling your parents hen go right ahead man/woman up and tell them
but if you dont feel comfortable with it confide in a friend or listener.....YOU ARE NOT GONNA LOOSE ANYONE 
XOXO
@Jade225 I understand.
To answer your first question: Admitting you are depressed will not push everyone away from you. It will only push away the toxic people in your life that you don't want there any way. Even if those people are your parents, sometimes it is for the best.
I also recommend therapy. There is a great joke about therapy.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The lighbulb has to want to change itself.
The thing about therapy is it isn't easy. Many times you are going to feel worse before you feel better. Sometimes you will be in a good mood, and leave in a bad mood. Because therapy rips off your emotional band-aids and exposes your mental scars, so they can heal. I love therapy and I always look forward to it. Because I know that in the long term it will make me feel better. But it isn't always a quick fix.
Stick with it and it will work.
@Positron2
@Jade225, you've received some very good recommendations so far in this thread. I would only add that we always need to remember that family and friends aren't able to provide the kind of support and "tools" that we need. Even those who are most motivated to help probably don't have the training necessary to give us what a therapist would be able to give us. Yes, therapy may feel scary at first, but it does get easier. The time that I've put into therapy has been extremely valuable in my journey to feeling better. And it was something that none of my family or friends could have provided...and I'm fortunate enough to have a fabulous support network.
So it may not be so much that you or your depression is pushing others away. It may just be that they sense they can't give you the exact support;help that you need and seek. Just a thought.
My very best wishes for you as you look for what's going to work best for you.
OMG, I can so relate to this topic.. I push people away because of my depression, I am labeled as a toxic person and no one wants to be around me. I feel so alone... My father has passed, my mother is very old and estranged. I don't have much of a relationship with my siblings. My wife is having an emotional affair with a stranger. My kids hate me because in the good parent / bad parent world that we created I am always the bad. I have no friends, all I have done in my life is work. and it has all been for nothing....
@ruffneckred you seem like a strong person. Only an individual who still has some fight left in him can openly come out and seek help/consolation.
Just hold on buddy. I hope your days change soon.
Take care.
it sometimes does but i forget that it sometimes pulls people i care for close to me as well
Your depression is not what will push people away. If your friends truly care about you, they will be there for you. Depression will only ever be a reason that you push people away, but only if you let it. Try talking about it with someone close to you. Even if its scary or it doesn't seem relevant, talk to someone you trust privately and calmly. You will then find yourself pulling them closer rather than away. Let me know if this method works for you.
I just broke down in blood sweat and tears because i am extraordinarily depressed beyond thd pale, condemned to permanent solitude, i am deemed unequivocally unlovable by every woman on the planet, the fact of the matter is i am so freaking alone and will be alone the rest of my life— I seriously wish I didn
@hollowman84 I feel you.
My "gf" got depressed well sort of had been for many years but until last year she got worse and pushed me away, no matter what I tried, no matter how supportive or patient I tried to be, she felt it was for the best. It wasn't a choice for me, it was forced. So I am glad you are trying to seek help from people, people who do care will stick around. I am still sticking around, emailing her once/twice a week showing my support, she rarely responds back but I hope she does know I am there for her and won't be going anywhere as this isnt her fault and I will do what I can to not let it ruin what we had as she is the love of my life.
@seekingadvice12
im in the same position. She texts back but in her responses I could be anybody
@orangeCup4474 yep exactly. She responded 2 weeks ago saying 'thank you so much, I appreciate it' after I gave her a long email of love, support, hope etc but since then silence again but I do still email her twice a week so that maybe she feels better slightly by reading them
@seekingadvice12
i get the occasional reference to us but its short lived and its like she only wants to talk about herself and I dont know if I am there as some kind of incentive to ease her guilt or just because she wants to be my friend. I take it day by day but theres no substance to our conversations now and I feel so confused. She seems happy without me and completely oblivious to how much of a dark place Im in even though I told her previously
@orangeCup4474
My boyfriend came and met me on 14 after t months now again he not there he is too aged having 2 children . But I can't live without him .that depression forces me to talk rudely to everyone
@Jade225
Therapy isn't bad but need to find a therapist that works with you.
I feel like I push people away too. It's like I have a cloudy vibe over my head that pushes people away. I try to be happy, or robotic but most people know it's fake.
My best advice is find a way to express yourself, writing, art, music etc. . . A way to work your depression out.
@Rebekahwriter13 You are making such a good point here.i believe expression your inner world through art really heals. You can conveys things that you yourself do not know how to express.
