Nothing is helping
Hi, Still struggling with depression. Ive tried to see a counsellor and talking to friends and stuff. Its not helping, starting to feel as if its never gonna get better. I keep talking abt it its just making it worser.
Im just exhausted from all of this, its killing me. I know i have friends and stuff, but i feel like i have no one. I feel as if no one cares about me. Tbh i just wanna lay down and sleep forever. I cant cope anymore. I'm just so messed up. I feel like im going crazy. My family are also toxic, have been since i was born. Theres constantly arguing and im so done with it. I dont wanna get into too much of that tho.
I also cant control myself from self harming, its like im a different person when doing it and idk what happening to me. If that makes any sense. Idk how to stop. its all just too much. And i have stopped and i went crazy so i started it again. Idk its all just hard to deal with right now. I just wanna be normal again
anyway, have a good day, and sorry for wasting your time.
@bestMap6925
I know what that's like with the self-harm, I don't feel like myself with it too, and it's gotten uncontrollable at certain points of my life. I've managed to keep from seriously doing it lately... I've only done it once this past year.
@Torean thats good, how have you been coping without it?
@bestMap6925
It was a long process. Honestly, I don't know how I would have done it without finally getting better job security and some disposable income. I learned how to be calmer when I finally had the chance to breathe after going through hell in a multitude of ways. Since then I've been balancing my activities and focusing on personal growth in most of them. I do really well when I don't have to feel alone and stressed constantly and when I feel like I'm making progress on things. I'm not totally better or anything, but I have a lot more capability and higher threshold.
You are not wasting anyone's time. You are a person, like all of us and you matter. You deserve care and love.....even if it comes from far away. Self harm is never worth it. It gives a temporary release ...but the next day you feel awful and have weeks of wound care to deal with. I know personally as a scarred mess that self harm doesn't work. Believe it or not at that moment you need to do a total 180....and give yourself some love. Easier said than done, i know. Hurting yourself is a temporary solution and one that leaves you feeling worse in the long term. It is damaging to the soul. Look at what you can do to care for yourself, it will feel insignificant to start with......but it will build as time goes on. You are searching for a release, so change that energy into something else....a mad dance about the house, reaching out to a friend, a ferocious walk with music blasting, anything. Anger and frustration and pain are energies that you can change in a less destructive way. You may not feel in control, but you are. Take that energy and put it elsewhere.
Sending love and positivity on your journey. xx
