My 7 Cups Dream Journal
Entry 1: The Boxes of Cats
It was a little strange but what I remember most is visiting a house that was in my old neighborhood that I’d recently moved from (it really wasn’t, so dream logic) but I came back to collect something I left or my mother left.
It was very sad and the people who were there now were sort of okay with me wandering around and looking. I kept noticing the signs that I’d once lived there (painted over places that still revealed chipped paint and stuff I recognized from my apartment).
Then I looked beneath a couch or table and found boxes full of kittens. Two boxes were full of meowing kittens in water that the new home owners had no idea were there, and one more box held a very dead cat that was an older one from a previous litter. All of the kittens were starving without their mother and I knew that it was the reason why the older one passed.
The new owners suddenly smelled the dead cat and I took it upon myself to get rid of it. When I came back an hour later all of the kittens were gone, and when I was walking past another house I could see all the kittens. They’d all grown up into adult cats!
I have used almond flour a number of times, but not pistachio. It sounds interesting. I should be cutting carbs more than I am.
@integrityblues
This is such an interesting dream you had, I'm so glad to hear to hear the kittens were alive at the end.
Entry 21: Balding
It was near the end but I dreamt that I waited too long to wash and brush my hair and that I suddenly was balding in patches and strips all over my head. I decided to put on my hat but was very nervous about my hat being knocked off and showing everyone that I was losing my hair.
I had that dream yesterday, the day I was preparing to go and visit my mother in spite of her worries about me maybe getting stabbed on the Metro Rail or bus. The dream was probably about the stress I was handling considering if something bad did happen during the trip my mom would use it as an excuse for me to never come over again, and I really wanted the experience to be a positive one since I was bringing her the book I got on Amazon but didn’t send to her house.
I hope that you had a good visit with your mom. Sorry that she worries so much.
It is interesting that your brain connects it to balding. That certainly would be a rough thing if it happened quickly. Though bald is ultimately beautiful. @integrityblues
It isn’t uncommon for losing hair in a dream to symbolize stress and worry, but ultimately the meaning is derived from your personal response to seeing or experiencing it in the dream- I was startled but mostly because I was getting ready to see people and wanted to look nicer because I’ve been slacking and not taking care of myself.
The fact that I was hiding it under a hat to look normal probably indicates that I was trying to hide how my depression makes me not care for myself but also project that I’m okay and my mom doesn’t have to worry about me too.
She’s worried enough about my younger sister…
Remember what I said about bald being beautiful? Depression on some level is the same kind of thing. I wouldn't call it beautiful, but it is part of you that ultimately makes you stronger and more compassionate.
It is okay to keep your mom from worrying, but not if you get hurt in the process. Sometimes being just a little honest with her can be good too.@integrityblues
I try to but she gets frightened so easily. I most often have to, or find myself trying to reassure her with how good I’m doing even if I’m lying: I’m so cool, I’m awesome, and so on. And then I get off the phone and stare up at my ceiling for a minute before getting on with things.
I can totally get that. It is hard to burden weaker parents. I do that with my own sometimes. It takes a bunch of strength though. It is good that you are trying to recalibrate before you move on with your day after you talk to your mom. @integrityblues
Entry 22: art final horror
I was stuck in an art class and taking a final exam.
I was supposed to be painting but after wasting so much time I was finally given a pencil and was warned that I had less than 30 minutes left.
I began sketching something from within the room and it was pretty decent for something done in the last minute.
Then the dream became a bit of a horror movie. Somehow the sketch got lost on a computer screen and every time I thought I’d removed enough tabs and a piece of the sketch was revealed it turned out to be something unrelated. And once again, there were cats and kittens everywhere in the room and wherever I went to look for the physical sketch.
At first my professor was understanding but she quickly gave up. I had long since run out of time. I was going to fail the class and would have to repeat it, which was disappointing because to me it meant I can’t create anything artistic anymore.
I was chatting on *** the other day with a fellow professor who asked us all why she still had that dream about failing a course after getting a PhD and it no longer mattered. Mine is always failing PE. I think that it is just a dream of perfectionist school people.@integrityblues
I think it’s just my brain’s way of making me work through any issue by applying familiar but still sort of relevant images to it.
I still don’t get why cats show up so often in any of my dreams. The internet says it’s something about intuition or creativity. I’ll admit that’s been my biggest issue lately; I’m not creative or creating anything at all, and most things I used to enjoy don’t mean anything to me right now.
I have to work on that because my intake appointment with the DOR is coming in September and I need to be in a better headspace.
In what ways are you thinking about creativity?@integrityblues
I used to write so much more, but I’ve not really enjoyed anything I’ve tried to do in the last year. It’s like it’s gone or I used it up?
It isn't used up at all. You just need to start writing things in new ways. The old topics aren't going to work for a while. Your brain is probably blocking them. But what about something like writing a bizarre short story based around one of your dreams? Think of a kind of genre that you normally don't write in. By experimenting with that you might get over the hump. @integrityblues
I’ve tried posting these for days and it’s not working when I copy paste the entries from my notes. So let’s try a brief entry like this:
Entry 23: visiting a previously dead friend
I was shopping and ended up visiting my dead friend’s home where just her brother lives now- I noticed he wasn’t home but went in anyway.
I was very nervous because I didn’t want to notice how her dog was absent too since he’d died before she did. But then I noticed my friend was there!
She was exercising and I sort of was dumbfounded at the door, asking how she was doing that?
She replied that it was the only way she could deal with the pain, and then I noticed she still had the foot that had been amputated a year before she passed.
Entry 24: punched in the face
I was finding money everywhere and when this guy spotted the same pair of hundred dollar bills as me we sort of raced to reach it. I got there first and he punched me in the face.
Entry 23 might make a nice start in on a short story. @integrityblues
Huh, it might. I’ll try and outline something!
I normally don't remember dreams, but I partially remember one from last night. I think it was because I started teaching today. In my dream, my first class went horribly because there was a squid that took over my computer so I could not explain anything.
The actual first day went more smoothly than that luckily. @integrityblues
Last night I had a tense dream about something being wrong with my lungs or breathing. That the only way to fix it involved an oddly informal surgeon breaking through my shoulder blade with a sharpened rod and pricking a hole in my lung like it was a balloon.
It hurt horribly and between the screaming I had the quasi rational thought of ‘but why didn’t you just slip something between my ribs, how long will it take to heal my shoulder too?’
I woke up briefly only to pick up the dream again, this time after I’d mostly recovered from my surgery but was struggling to apply for and attend a college class again.
It was very stressful and I was so worried about the money I’d be losing if I couldn’t find the right room and get there on time. I got in there a little late, and at least the class looked pretty neat. Lots of post structural analysis of writing.
To be fair, I got some bad news from my mother when she called me earlier that evening.
My sister has lost her place at the new shelter and now my mother is going on and on about how she’s going to get a lawyer. I’d been so worried I’d stayed up late until I finally dozed off.
So sorry for the stressful dream. Sometimes all that tension has to go somewhere. I know that you are trying to ignore the mother/sister tension where you can, but your brain can unluckily chose the night to process it.
I hope that tonight your sleep is better. @integrityblues
I’ve been sick for a few days now and I’m miserable. I’d found some matzoh ball mix for soup and put it together even though it was past it’s best by date and it was my first time making it. It made me remember my friend who passed away because her go to cure all for colds was a big bowl of matzoh ball soup and she’d take me to a deli to get some.
My dream was about me finding out that my friend was alive again, and I was so grateful to see her again alive that I stopped and hugged her in the street.
There was another bit about going back to school and learning that I was over a week late to attend my classes, which was extremely stressful.
Dreams do often come harder when you are sick. But I love the idea of a soup memory. Even if you can't have that moment back, it is a precious thing to hold onto. I hope that the soup made you feel a bit better.
Sending strength and peace. @integrityblues
I dreamt that I had to participate in the Hunger Games, but instead of a cool setting like in the books all of us were sitting at a series of bus stops that we’d been assigned too.
Part of the game involved using whatever I had on my person to fight off the tributes from other bus stops who would try to walk by and make us lose the Hunger Games by making physical contact with whatever they brought with them without stepping over the brighter colored chalk lines drawn around each bench. No one brought anything lethal so I was using a bunch of pens and things from my purse I could throw at them.
I realized I had brought my phone with me so I could fight one of them by beating them in Pokémon Go, and then I lost horribly.
I really got to hang out with the losers of the Hunger Games and I think we had lunch.
I am so sorry that I missed a few days. You know that I am usually much, much better. The last few days have been crazy busy and it has been hard to get caught up on posting.
That does sound like an interesting dream especially at bus stops. Do you use busses regularly?
I hope that you are feeling a bit better now. @integrityblues
It’s okay bestVase. I’ve been handling my mother’s issues with drs and stuff. She couldn’t see the one she scheduled an appointment with on Friday because the dr was sick, but she also couldn’t make another appointment.
I’m visiting my mother tomorrow to help her go shopping since the friend who was supposed to do it got into a car accident- my mom hinted that even though she got a rental car that it wasn’t likely the friend would have time to help her shop.
I’m going to help her get food and some things suggested by a dr or helpline through her insurance that got her prescriptions put through and strongly suggested she get another appointment to her dr so she’d get a referral to a pulmonologist.
Doctors appointments with parents are never fun to schedule. I hope that they all work themselves out for you. What kinds of things are you doing to destress?@integrityblues
I’m resting and reading to destress, but I’ve been a little busy.
Helping my mom shop had taken nearly all day and now I’m so worn out.
And even though I’m very tired and just want to watch tv I’m looking at old assignments on my Dropbox while laying down, trying to find better examples of my practical skills for my resume. It was an assignment I was given a few weeks ago when my job developer ended our Zoom meeting without setting up another appointment. Then I got busy for a week with other appointments and got sick the week after that.
The job developer contacted me this Friday and asked that I call her as soon as possible, but the line was busy so I only left a message that day. Today I sent her an email trying to open a line of communication by saying “hey, I’ve got a therapy appointment on Monday at this time but I can probably speak before that but would have more time after it’s over” like an idiot.
Nothing idiotic about any of that. You have been working through the stuff for the resume and have contacted her back both via phone and email. You can't do much more. You are going to figure out a path forward. @integrityblues
You will get back on track soon. Rest up some. I am here to keep you from beating yourself up.
Thanks bestVase! She got back to me yesterday and offered two choices for meeting times. It’s probably going to be a Zoom meeting this afternoon.