Managing my Depression

Hey all ... I made the scary step to see a therapist for my anxiety and depression a few months ago. It was a big step for me, and I think I'm starting to move ahead.

This journey is bringing to light some uncomfortable truths in my life. My depression was triggered a lot by the feeling that it doesn't really matter if I were to come home or not ... that my life and actions are largely inconsequential.

At first, I was thinking that this was just my depression playing with my mind and my perspective on life. But I am realizing that my home life isn't so happy, and I've been looking to my marriage to bring happiness, and it isn't really working. I feel my inpu to our family isn't really valued, and what happens in our home is dictated by my spouse. I don't hear I love you unless I say it first, and I don't get hugs or kisses unless I do it first.

I'm managing by doing more outside the house - I get out and exercise. I even went to a yoga class by myself. I also read and meditate more. I'm managing, but life is getting more lonely.

I discussed my depression with my spouse and the lack of affection - there is a promise to change, but it always falls back to the same rut. I am now wondering if my marriage issues are the source of my depression - I always thought it was the other way around.

Anyway, that turned into a long rambling post there. Hoping this note is relatable to someone. Love to get feedback from the community, as I am struggling with this one.