Lost

@mikenai22 It's hard to remember that there is people rooting us on. I know I do. Mainly because my cheering section is only in here and when I'm having a bad time - I avoid this place. I end up keeping to myself.

The sleep loss I think makes everything harder - seem so much worse. Because you're tired you don't want to do anything but sleep. Fully - restfully. Maybe with a full nights rest the brain could cool down. LIke maybe the problem now is it's over heated. I know that's not really possible but - just wishfull thinking on my part.

Be gentle with yourself

@mytwistedsoul

It's hard to remember that there is people rooting us on. I know I do. Mainly because my cheering section is only in here and when I'm having a bad time - I avoid this place. I end up keeping to myself.

I am sorry. - Even though I know you will say don't be.

But if your cheering section is here only. (I presume 7cups community) Then how to move on later on?

I mean everyone will have to part ways one day or another. - Although i wished it can be forever.

(Wait a SECOND MIKE... Did you just came to a ???realisation???)

The sleep loss I think makes everything harder - seem so much worse. Because you're tired you don't want to do anything but sleep. Fully - restfully. Maybe with a full nights rest the brain could cool down. LIke maybe the problem now is it's over heated. I know that's not really possible but - just wishfull thinking on my part.

Its more like a mental struggle, let me try to explain abit below

- Mind : It's time to wake up. Body : No... i'm tired. Mind : Now is the only peace time where you can "work", take the shot.

- Body : Pain... Time to flip side..., I need to pee, etc. Mind : No, I am too fatigued to think to move. Don't please. Body : But I dont wanna hold it much longer...

- Mind : Your parents are outside, let's stay in peace for awhile longer. Body : But I dont want to lie anymore, its very daunting and painful... Mind : Just wait out, maybe another minute and see...

its like the disagreement between the mind and body. Sometimes the mind is right, sometimes the body is right. Until I dont know who to listen to...

Be gentle with yourself

Shit... I have been forgetting. Only so engrossed to "reply".

I will try to remember twistedsoul.

@mikenai22 Yeah it is only on here. Unfortunately. I mean it's better than nothing but Idk - I just don't socialize anywhere offline. Tbh - I'm not sure what I'll do. If something happens to this place or If I stop showing up for good. I just don't know. I guess I'm trying not to think about it.

Your body/mind argument sounds a little like mine. My body says no I can't and my mind says we got things to do. It's a rare occasion when they both agree. It's frustration. Because wow - if they could work together. I might be able to get alot more done.

It's ok to forget - we all forget to be gentle with ourselves. That's why it's good to have people to remind us. That's where I come in and well now Wise One. Thought it was pretty cool - that's what I call NoneTheWiser too.

Be gentle with your thoughts and yourself Mike. Take care

@mytwistedsoul

guess each of us hasbour own battles and nemesis to face with.

anyways HR will be meeting me this Thursday. Where I will finally hear the outcome of their decision. my boss had already mentioned of the high chances of termination and probably better for me to self-resignate.

hiaz. of all the choices.

@mikenai22 Oh wow - the waiting must be hell. I'm sorry all this is happening to you. That really sucks. We're here for you - try not to forget. No matter what happens - we're here for you.

Plans for when 7 cups isn't around? No - honestly I don't. I'm kind of hopeful that I'll be in a better spot when and if that happens. If not - I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably go back to keeping to myself.

@mytwistedsoul

Oh wow - the waiting must be hell. I'm sorry all this is happening to you. That really sucks. We're here for you - try not to forget. No matter what happens - we're here for you.

Dont be sorry twistedsoul.

Neither nor i wanted it to reach to this state either.

Thank you again for the constant reminder...

Plans for when 7 cups isn't around? No - honestly I don't. I'm kind of hopeful that I'll be in a better spot when and if that happens. If not - I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably go back to keeping to myself.

Guess, its abit like waiting for the D-Day to arrive i guess.

Hiaz... going back. I duno seriously. Well at least its something.

@mikenai22 Of course you didn't want it to come to this state - this point. It's not like you woke up one day and said hey let me just get my life out of wack. It's not like you chose to be "sick". I mean I know I certainly didn't chose to be how I am. Idk - I'm sorry - I think maybe that sounds a little hostile on my part. I'm sorry. Sometimes emotions get a little over whelming and it seems to take away my common sense.

Try to remember that in spite of everything - you're doing the best you can at this moment. Sometimes it takes all of our energy just to breath. That's ok. People who have never struggled with anything don't seem to realize that.

Hey I'll remind you every day if I have to. We're here for you. Anything you ever want to tal about. No judgment - no pressure.

Try to be gentle with yourself

@mytwistedsoul

I'm feeling so bad to put you in such a position.

if you can just bear with me for a while till I get over it.

I think somehow the constant reminders will definitely drill in one day

@mytwistedsoul

actually, do you have any plans?

say if one day, really we/7cups are not around anymore

@NoneTheWiser

hi wise one.

sorry and thanks.

Sorry, I can't remember always that there are people beside me. Alongside supporting me. My mind and view is often so narrow minded.

Thank you, for letting me know that you are here, passing on the burning light.

Although I can't do "anything", I can only maintain for now. Perhaps this is also something. Though it is not a good progress.

@NoneTheWiser

just thanks something feels amiss.

if you track back this thread.

see the number off times twistedsoul reminded me.

I blanalty just forget time after time.

see the amount of effort I'm putting to "help" myself

probably "zero"

@NoneTheWiser

just thanks something feels amiss.

if you track back this thread.

see the number off times twistedsoul reminded me.

I blanalty just forget time after time.

see the amount of effort I'm putting to "help" myself

probably "zero"

@NoneTheWiser

I guess I don't really know how to "act" socially.

it does not feel natural or me at all.

anyways I'm not someone who socialise well. nor want to.

actually regarding check-ins, I usually depend on the notification alerts, as I haven't really been picking courage or energy to read through community forums.

I don't mind replying just that if I recall correctly your check-ins are rather challenging ones.

anyways, you're not bugging me. I rather have someone to "type" reply to than none.

@NoneTheWiser @mytwistedsoul

everytime I chimed in to this thread. I see this candle on page 5 as the first post.

kinda served as a small reminder that both your self and twistedsoul are here.

I don't know what to say.

Hi everybody I'm Skye. I have a few things wrong and I'm Trying to find someone to talk to about my life,

@Fireskye13

hello skye, welcome to 7cups.

Though i am in some deep rabbit hole myself. But if i can offer/share anything with you, i be sure to do within my limits.

You do not have to force yourself to share if it is private and personal to you.

Or if anything you like to talk about is also ok. To your comfort level.

it is all over.

@mikenai22 Hey Mike - What's going on? I'm around if you need anything. You haven't put me in any bad positions. I'm here because I want to be. My choice - yeah?

@mytwistedsoul

the job. it's finished.

@mikenai22 I'm gonna sit here for a while with you if that's ok.

@mytwistedsoul

thank you. somehow I find it hard to do anything

@mikenai22 Hey that's ok. Take that moment - a deep breath - a pause. I am here for you.

@mytwistedsoul

it's so difficult to do anything right.

even sleep...

been having weird breathing episodes. like some form of exhaustive breathless

@mikenai22 Do you feel anxious?

@mytwistedsoul

always have been. maybe today's Abit different

@mikenai22 A bit worse? Have you tried to ground yourself?

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 you can hear

2 you can smell

1 you can taste

@mytwistedsoul

it's like the mind is fatigued.

but the body is still awake

@mikenai22 Have you tried to meditate or anything? Maybe you can calm your body and mind together.

@mytwistedsoul

Have you tried to meditate or anything?

no, but i gave up the bed (for now at least.)

bit an apple.

regretted.

calories in - 100

need to work it off later.

hiaz.

Maybe you can calm your body and mind together.

duno... i cant sleep now.

@mikenai22 If there's anything I can do to help all you have to do ask. I'm still sitting here with you. Just letting you know you're not alone

@mytwistedsoul

to be honest.

i dont really know what to "ask for now"

decisions? something to do?

exercise? eat and suffer digestion pains? i duno.

@mikenai22 Would doing something simple like going for a walk help? Some fresh air and little time to clear your mind? Maybe a shower? Do you ever do any journaling?

@mytwistedsoul

Would doing something simple like going for a walk help?

Its like 1am now.

well.. i did ran before at 2am.

maybe. but i just ran 24 hours ago.

Some fresh air and little time to clear your mind? Maybe a shower? Do you ever do any journaling?

duno... journaling?

I stopped for awhile. became compulsive and repetive and full of negativity.

@mikenai22 I understand the concern of the negative journaling but I think it's better to get it out, rather then hold it all inside. We can't always write about sunshine and flowers. We have to write the bad things out too. It's just a thought of course.

@mytwistedsoul

I did it. I went for a impromptu run.

Felt sucky.

Mind was totally a mess during the run.

Forget it.

The run is over.

I understand the concern of the negative journaling but I think it's better to get it out, rather then hold it all inside. We can't always write about sunshine and flowers. We have to write the bad things out too. It's just a thought of course.

Understand. Its just that when i reviewed some pages back. I realised how negative all the pages were. I can hardly or even spot a line of positivity. Which was why i thought i should weane off a while first.

Write only when I truly feel like writing. Not for the sake of checkboxing.

@mikenai22 Just checking in with you Mike.

I'm sorry your run sucked.

Tbh I try to write everyday. Good or bad. Here or in a journal. Some days both. It's just better to get it out of my head. Especially the bad stuff. Sometimes I'll write things out an then destroy it. Just because it feels good. Cleansing. Of course you have to do what's comfortable to you.

@mytwistedsoul

can't sleep. (truly) though I dozed off once in a short while.

thanks for checking up.

well it's like how you feel and use the journal I suppose?

@mikenai22 It's hard when all you want to do is sleep and escape from your thoughts and feelings. I know it may not be much but we are here for you. For what ever we can do to help. Sometimes it's nice to just know you're not alone.

I'm still here sending good thoughts your way.

Try to be gentle with yourself

@mytwistedsoul

I find it very hard to really sleep (solid)

the mind had been fraying on and off. thinking about stuffs...

thank you again for being around. since yesterday accompaning me without condition.

I started noticing that the world the people has been negating me so much

@NoneTheWiser

nothing much to talk about actually...