Loneliness on 7Cups
Hello guys 
I have been on 7Cups for a little while and I have to say that, in some occasions, it has been helpful...in some others, it has been actually very frustrating.
I got here, as I believe many of you, searching for support, friendship, or, most likely, just someone to talk to. I live a very lonely life, in a desperately isolated place (an island with few hundreds inhabitants), and, unfortunately, I have several psychologic problems (or psychiatric?...who knows...) that developed after a not easy life. The last 3 years, especially, have just been a daily torture, a sequence of bad events that corroded me little by little. As I just wrote, I live on a little island, here we only have 2 little food stores, nothing else. Until few months ago, we didn't even have a general doctor, so, no chance to find any kind of help from professionals in the psychiatric/psychologic field. Once reached the bottom of my sorrow and despair, and having nobody that could help me, I found 7Cups.
I talked to some listeners, wrote here and there...and figured out so many times it feels like talking to myself...I wasn't able to build any stable "talking friendship", which is what I actually need. I feel like a throw stones to the void...just write sentences that maybe noone will ever read, and for sure, that noone will answer to.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one feeling like this here... I don't want this to sound like a complaint, 7Cups is anyway good, but I wish I could find someone who wants to just keep talking to me, and that wants to be listened.
Is my hope in vain? 
I dont reach out for help or talk about my feelings often. I find it really hard to make close friendships. I just want one best friend I can go to talk about anything. I cant always talk to my mom cause she is stressed all the time and doesnt understand my feelings and I dont wanna stress her out even more.
I desire friends but I feel like I dont fit in and I feel like nobody wants to be friends with me and I am ‘different than everyone else. I put on a smile everywhere I go but deep inside Im sad and always worrying about my actions and other peoples actions and what they think of me.
i have a very complicated relationship with guys. I used to think every single guy that talked to me liked my romantically. Ive grown out of that but through experience I overthink everything and feel like Im never gonna be in a relationship. That is something I desire a lot and just wanna have a boyfriend that I could spend time with and talk to whenever I want. I keep telling myself itll happen one day but I keep getting older.
Sometimes I get in really dark places and feel incredibly lonely and have no purpose in life and dont know what to do. Then some days I feel very happy with the world. Not sure what to do or how to act but I know Im always gonna have this loneliness inside me.
I just wanna be content with myself so I dont need anyone elses approval or company to be happy.
Hi @mellowunicorn! Im really sorry youre feeling this way. It sounds so familiar and I hope we can find a way to be happy again.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go
"Iridescent" Linkin Park
I want to try something new but dont know how. I dont do any sports but I wish I did. Im back home from university and dont have many friends here to hang out with. Im hanging out with a friend tomorrow but we probably wont see each other again for a month.
All I do is work then come home, watch tv, then sleep and repeat. I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and try something new.
Just feeling a bit lonely right now cause it seems like Im going nowhere and dont have a life.
@mellowunicorn even the smallest thing out of a routine makes it easier to break the binding chains. Do any one thing in a different way in your day. For example, do not go to your home directly after work. Instead, visit a park, or lake or such, be within nature even for an hour. If you do, have small, but really small, talk with people around. We don't have to go big, you should say to yourself, but we have to take first step towards people. :)
hey there, I've dreamed about somebody I have crushed on and he used to treat me as I am nothing.. I want to see him may be because I have no friends.. what do you think?
@DinaElwy I think there are healthier ways to find friends than going back to someone who treated you badly. It sounds like you want friends more than you want to talk to him again.
Do you have any hobbies you could use to talk to new people? Or a favorite show or game?
I like knitting for this. It's always nice to go into a yarn shop when some people are working on projects. Asking what they're working on is a good way to get to know some people, and they'll want to see what you're doing too. That's just an example though. You can do this for other hobbies too.
@MeMyselfAndHer I totally feel you...too bad members cannot pm each other here, otherwise I would have talked to you myfriend and the discussion rooms are too polluted...
I wish many times that I could talk to animals because I connect better with them...
Im always there for my friends without question, but I always hesitate to ask them for anything. I feel like if I ask them for help theyll brush it off as a joke or nothing serious, or theyll pity me or think Im a burden. I just cant tell if Im the problem or if its them.
@emotionalPapaya8436 it is not you, unfortunately you just haven't met or made real friends...with real friends, your unjustified thoughts go away, they are really there for you, do not judge or make fun and they sympathise and care about you and have genuine compassion...and with them you can freely joke after and laugh and talk about anything freely...i wish you will meet true friends🤗🤗🤗...i feel for you😔😔...
@emotionalPapaya8436
I feel the same way, like I am a burden to my friends and people around me. Whenever someone is nice or friendly to me, I am convinced they are just that way because they feel bad for me. They are nice out of pity only.
I feel very afraid and stressed at work.
I feel i will fail and that i am a catastrophy. I am so afraid of my boss. I am afraid to fail.
Every time, i think peoplr will say i i stupid and that i i wi be fired.
Please support me
@WazMin I'm sorry you're feeling that way... It's really hard to ask for help when you don't feel comfortable in a job. Especially if your boss is the problem.
I don't think they'll fire you for making mistakes. Everyone there has made mistakes at some point, or even failed to do a job. If they fired everyone who did that they wouldn't have any employees left.
It might be good to think about where being scared of your boss is coming from. Does he treat people badly? Is it how he looks or talks? A smell? If you're not sure what makes him scarey to you, it could be helpful to talk to other employees about it and see what they think. If your coworkers seem to like him, especially the women, it could be a hint that maybe it's an anxiety problem and you can find a way to work through it. It might help you have an easier time at work too, if you see things going well for other people.
I hate going outside here in summer. Seeing all the happy people enjoying themselves. I try all the time to invite the people I know out and do stuff but they never have the time. I wish I never had the time but I do nothing but sit all day and wither away.
I just want to share my life with someone. Everytime I feel like I have gotten close there is always someone better than me. Someone funnier and better looking. I am really afraid of getting older because I feel like the older I get the worse my chances are and looking at how it has been so far it dosent seem like it will get any better.
Just getting tired of being so angry and envious at everyone else. I just don't understand why I have to suffer when everyone around me is doing so great? What have I done to deserve this?
Hey everyone. I'm new. My name is Ash.
I think I actually have depression and anxiety, but I don't seem to have it as bad as a lot of the people on this thread, so I'm wondering if I really have it at all. My mom made an appointment to talk to the doctor about it, so I'll finally find out. It just sort of happened one day where I freaked out and ran to my dad. After an hour of him talking, my wall holding the tears back broke and I had a very big mental breakdown. No one believed all the things I told them about my school life and just said that I'll work through it. "It's going to be a lot worse in the real world!" was a very common thing people would say to me. But here's the thing. I know I'm in middle school, almost in high school. I have broken down more times than I can count because of things that happen at school. Teachers who treat me awfully. I know I'm supposed to be strong, but how can I be strong when no one seems to care or notice. The end of summer is close by, and I know that the pressure of school work, daily headaches, seeing familiar faces, possible depression and anxiety going into the end of my middle school year next year is going to destroy me. I don't know what to do. I feel so strangled by everything. I wish I could just fly away. But I can't. My family and I have financial issues, so there's not much we can do. We can't move or go to another school district. We can't get a better house. We get by with what we have, but when it runs out, I don't know what we'll do... Thanks for reading my long story. I feel like no one gets me.
@AshleyKetchum I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Middle school is terrible for a lot of people, and anyone who says "the real world is worse" or that "this is the best time of your life" has no idea what they're talking about. They aren't the ones who are dealing with it.
Don't let them convince you that it wasn't as bad as you think, because it probably really was that bad. If you're having complete breakdowns when you think about going back to school, there is a problem, and the problem isn't you. There's probably other students at your school w.
@BlueBetta who are going through the same thing.
Sorry, I accidentally hit send before I was done.
You deserve to be treated well, and to have people believe you when there's a problem. I hope going to the doctor helps.
@AshleyKetchum It may or may not be worse in the real world, but I hope you can start towards that path of gaining the tools you need to work through obstacles when they happen. I feel you totally; your family means well, but in their attempt to cheer you up, they make you feel weird or guilty about your thoughts/emotions.
Im in my early 30s, Im a professional working with people who have mental illness and every other day Im crying. I hope for you that you can find some silver lining. What are things that interest you? What are things that actually make you laugh? Set aside time for it. As for school, if your struggling with work, utilize the guidance counselor or tutors. If theres social issues, join a club and nonchalantly say you had a shitty time recently and need a good distraction or creativity outlet. Is someone bullying you? If its affecting your work, confide in the teacher that you are struggling with someone and if you can sit a certain place or be excused from being called on.
These are just some ideas, I definitely dont have the answers or advice, professionals arent supposed to give advice - like that saying about giving a person a fish vs. teaching them to fish. Your therapist will be a sounding board, like a second opinion to your own thoughts, and help you piece your thoughts and experiences together. You wont feel better overnight,but the more effort you put youll see results.
@AshleyKetchum Just to add to my other response, your therapist can engage you in psychotherapy techniques that can help you learn how to access your feelings and act accordingly; like reality testing to see if you interpreted something negatively and how to reframe your reactive thought to reduce the stress the negative thoughts trigger in you, etc.
@AshleyKetchum
@AshleyKetchum Hey Ash, Im sorry to hear about what youre going through.
It sounds like theyre in denial or simply dont understand how mental illness works. My mom is the same way, and some of the things shes said have made me feel worse but once I understood that she didnt understand, it helped.
The visual that my therapist put it in really helps explain what I mean.
Its like having those old-fashioned 3D glasses, you know, the ones with the red and blue plastic in its frame? But instead of one red and one blue lens, my mom has two red and I have two blue. Were looking at the exact same thing, for the sake of this example, Ill say a white bear. I tell her its blue, but she says its red. We start arguing over what color it is and were not getting anywhere because one of us has to have the last word, therefore giving no end. The issue here is that were looking at the very exact same thing, but we perceive it differently due to our different colored lenses. These lenses are our perspectives, and in order to understand what it is that the other person is seeing, what that other person is feeling, then we need to speak and clarify what it is that were looking at, what it is that were going through. Hope this helps.
