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I give up!

RunningWater March 19th, 2016

I have been fighting all my life and I'm **** tired. I work to much for peanuts, I can barley pay my bills and fines alone. My own family and so called " friends" don't care about me. This is the last time I will ever help myself. I'm tired of fighting all alone and my heart is gone by the family and friends who ruined my life. I am seriously giving up on myself. And I don't want to hear any words of encouragement. I won't kill myself, I'm just going to suffer until I die from stress or anything I do to make myself suffer.

Why should I consider helping myself?

I've been through so many traumatic experiences, and been through hell all my life.

Why should I help myself?

(edited by Forum Mentor FluffyUnicorns84 due to triggering content , if you wish to discuss this feel free to message me)

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navyTortoise5674 March 19th, 2016

@RunningWater

Well, look at it from a different perspective, giving up is allowing those people who hurt you continue to hurt you? Letting them carry on hurting you, when actually you can prove them all wrong and build a life for yourself!

Your past is the past, the past are lessons, not life sentences! Don't let your experiences and past define and ruin your future.

its your choice, but if I were you, I'd like to think I'd enjoy proving them all wrong.

7 replies
RunningWater OP March 25th, 2016

@navyTortoise5674 I really don't care at this point. After being raped, shot, stabbed, being in a federal prison with hardcore criminals. Isolated for months without knowing when its day or night. Not knowing the date. Having my own family betray me. Having my friends leave me to rot. Been abused in every single way you could imagine. And being commited for a crime I did not commit. I lost almost all of my heart. My soul is becoming cold as ice. My faith in humanity is at an all time low. After going through all that and not killing myself.

What else is there to do and say?

5 replies
navyTortoise5674 March 25th, 2016

@RunningWater

I know you have been through some damn terrible traumatic experiences in your life time, and unfortunately you are unable to change this, this is your past, and probably what makes you who are today. Instead of you being so down and out about yourself, why not try and give yourself some happiness? Get some help, there are people out there trained to help you.

You have a life, and life is for living, there are many people in this world who have been hurt and damaged, and find a second chance at happiness, work hard and find peace, sadly there are also people who fight for their life and lose the battle.

Dont give up on yourself, get some help.

2 replies
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TallApple138 August 2nd, 2016

Wow. Your life really is a lot worse than I imagined. That really sucks. I can totally get hating society and just not caring anymore, but it's okay. You know.. you survived all that, clearly you are strong. You are very strong and amazing.

I have a few thoughts on that..

1. Everything bad already happend to you, nothing worse can happen, except allowing them to win. Going to lie down now after you fought so much. That would really suck.

2. Your story reminded me of a Bible character. I know what you are thinking, if you aren't a christian you are probally thinking somethig like " oh yippy :( another preach from some high and mighty christian blah blah blah" but that's not what I am trying to do, I am just going to tell you a story about a man it may get long, but I hope you will read it till the end.

I will post the story in another reply because it won't allow me to type that much

@RunningWater

1 reply
TallApple138 August 2nd, 2016

@TallApple138

The story is about a man named Joseph. He was still a young boy, and never did anything to hurt his family. He was a loving young man, but one day, when he went out to see his brothers, they put him in a large empty pit and planned to kill him. His own brothers wanted to kill him, but then instead they sold him of as a slave. Imagine being sold of as a slave by your own brothers, even when you didn't ever do anything to hurt them. When all you did was love them and care for them. Imagine how betrayed he had to feel.

When he came to Egypt he was sold as a slave to an Egyptian. He worked hard for this man, and did his work well. But the Egyptians wife tried to seduce him and when he refused she blamed him, and he was sent to prison. He was thrown in prison because he did what was right and refused to do what's wrong. I am not sure how long he was in prison, but he stayed faithful to God and he stayed positive, and it was rewarded. He was appointed second in command over Egypt. GOD took him from a young boy who's own brothers sold him of as a slave and told his father he was dead to a powerful man. You can read all about it in Genesis 37. ( till Gensis 41 or somewhere around there)

I don't really know what my point is with the story. I guess it's just to show you even if your life is bad, God can help you.

You don't know have to suffer any longer. Just turn to God

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TallApple138 August 2nd, 2016

That's very good advice @navyTortoise5674

I think proving all those people wrong would be awesome.

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creativePinefish March 19th, 2016

I feel the same way too! What's the point of trying to be nice to others, do the right thing or even talk. If your always going to be the shortest stick in the bunch.

1 reply
RunningWater OP July 20th, 2016

@creativePinefish

I give out honey and receive vinegar

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FlowersOfHope August 1st, 2016

@RunningWater

While it is your choice, I hope you reconsider. Stop punishing yourself, you didn't do anything wrong.

1 reply
RunningWater OP August 2nd, 2016

@Hopemaybloom

I did a lot of things wrong to deserve this. This is why I was treated this way. I did wrong all my life. And now I have to fix it alone. This is the last time I'm going to help myself. Because I'm tired of helping myself. If this doesn't work out. I'm killing myself on September 5th

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