I can't deal with compliments
I don't even know where to post this, but I'm depressed so I guess this is the right place?
The weirdest thing just happened. I just got a compliment. Not on something I've made or done but on me. And the wrongness of it made me break down and cry. Because I'm not "great". I do all the things I do to try and keep up with the world and its expectations on what a person like me should do. I don't even do the things I do very well, my predecessors have always done so much more than I will ever achieve.
I find it such a weird reaction. A genuine compliment is something you're supposed to appreciate and be happy about, right? But if it hadn't been said over a Facebook chat I probably would have laughed and... I don't know... tried to tell her that I'm not. Or maybe yelled at her for being wrong. Because I can't see anything "great" about me as a person. I really can't and in a way I hate that, because believing in yourself is another thing you're supposed to do, right? And that's another thing that I just can't do.
I don't even know where I'm going with this. Has anyone else had an experience like this? How do you even deal with a comment... compliment... like that?