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adamabinta
14 54,798
L Specialist 7
5 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings27 Number of reviews13 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceNov 26, 2014 Last activein last week PathStep 304 People helped34 Chats1,388 Forum posts116 Forum upvotes312
Bio

I am taking an indefinite break from 7cups. I will not be available to respond to personal requests.

Recent forum posts
Disability in an able-bodied world
Disability Support / by adamabinta
Last post
 April 16th, 2017
...See more I was born with muscular dystrophy. I was thinking about how it feels to live with a physical disability in an able-bodied world, and this is the analogy that came to mind: My parents are birds. The ladies at the church are birds. Strangers at the grocery store are birds. Birds believe that every creature is either a bird or wants to be a bird. For the longest time I thought I was a bird. I did not look like a bird: I had no wings and I could not fly, but I kept close to the edge that separated me from sky. I often leapt with great effort, exhausted and breathless, emulating a few moments of flight that satisfied the winged voices: Fly, they demanded, flap your arms and fly. I tried as best I could. While I was in the air they were satisfied, but flying and falling look the same until you hit the earth. Every time I landed my skin bruised, and eventually my flesh began to tear. The years passed and scars accumulated. I began to feel irrevocably broken as I realized my wings would never grow. Then one day I abandoned the voices who carelessly judged my inability to fly as an inability to try. I ventured inward and downward, meeting other wingless creatures who told me that I was actually a fish. Since then I have met whales and sharks, turtles and frogs, coral and cephalopods, and I have learned that the world is much bigger than wings and skies. Many birds believe that the sky constitutes the near entirety of the world. They look down on deep waters and observe that sunlight barely penetrates the surface. They surmise that my home is a black void and that the weight of the ocean would be too much to bear. And yet, somehow, I soldier on with dignity. I am such an inspiration. But I know that these waters run deeper than the expanse of any sky. The sun might illuminate the surface, but I have no need for such light: I was made to navigate vibrations and waves, not by sight. This medium, my home, sways to the life it supports: I move, we move, and our world disperses in concentric trails and ultrasonic songs in an infinite oceanic dance. Every moment of every day these waters unite my existence with an ecosystem that is bigger than any one mind can fathom. Birds often believe that they are free and autonomous – that they have a perspective and clarity privileged only to those who occupy the highest perch. But I have examined both sky and sea and found that life is vast, interdependent, and much more meaningful when we stop trying to become that which we were never meant to be. I am not a broken or extraordinary bird; I am a whole and ordinary fish.
Communicating your Distress to Loved Ones
Relationship Stress / by adamabinta
Last post
 September 2nd, 2015
...See more I thought I would share this idea with anyone who struggles to express their emotions when they are upset. I have always been emotionally sensitive and very anxious, but for the most part I've learned how to regulate my emotions so they don't negatively affect the people I love, unless there is a clear and valid problem involving someone else that needs to be addressed. However, I was recently put on heart medication with side effects that include inducing anxiety and irritability. I suddenly found myself not wanting to be around people, losing my patience with my husband, and becoming upset at things that would normally not even make it on my radar. Some days are better than others, but the last thing I want is for my husband to walk on eggshells not knowing what kind of day I was having, or for him to take my mood personally, as if he'd done something wrong. Unfortunately, my worst days are also the days I have the hardest time asking for help or expressing my needs. So my husband and I have worked it out that on days where I feel more irritated or anxious, I will wear an elastic band on my wrist (you could wear anything really, like a particular bracelet or hairpin or T shirt). If he sees the elastic he knows I am not feeling well, so he knows to be a little more patient or to cut down on the jokes and jabs, and maybe offer to do a little more around the home (or to expect less from me). And he knows to give me extra personal space so I don't get overwhelmed. Usually by the next day I feel much better, but I find this helps me to communicate my emotions and needs without having to say anything, and I don't inadvertently hurt his feelings because he knows that my irritability that day likely has nothing to do with him. So, if you are having experiences similar to mine then you might find that wearing something to communicate to others how you are feeling, without actually having to talk about it, is helpful (as long as you discuss what the item actually means and what would be the most helpful ways to respond (e.g., more hugs, more personal space, more patience, etc.). Many times we have to teach others how to meet our needs and help us to feel loved, including how to recognize when we are suffering and in need of a little extra comfort and grace.
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Feedback & Reviews
Truely and genuinely a wonderful, and wonderfully empathetic person! She helped me through the night- if I could pay her in gold or befriend her in real life I would xx
Thank you so much for your help. At first I'm afraid what should I do, but when conversation starts I really enjoy and I really happy your empathy so I don't feel nervous at all. Thank you.
I really don't have the words to describe the thoughtfulness and brilliance of adamabinta. Her insight, caring, intelligence and empathy is truly remarkable and she is helping me wade through a very dark and emotional time. I am grateful for her willingness to share, and by doing so, bring insight into my own situation.
She is very caring and kind. She makes it easy to open up and talk.

this listener was so deep that I forgot about my responsibilities about things. she was very kind and understanding towards me in that regard thank you for gently telling me about my deficiencies so that I can improve upon them. much appreciated.
Really thoughtful and puts in so much time and effort into each message
Thank you so much. I am grateful to have been able to speak with you. :)
She is so kind and amazing. Thank you for hearing everything I had to say and being with me when I had a difficult evening. You made me see that there is hope and that alone is awesome because I never thought it could be true.
Thank you, I am so grateful for all the time you have given me. When I first met her, I felt so alone and facing what I thought was an impossible situation. She made me feel like I am human, and valued, if Christian really means Christ follower she is a perfect example.
Thank you, you have been so much help. Her expertise in psychology and her faith are admirable, but what I really love about her is the amount of genuine care she shows. She is the only listener who has ever checked up on me, even after months. She guides me gently into talking about my problems when I'm reluctant or afraid to. She seems to understand how I'm feeling from just a paltry amount of text I send to her. A great listener and person.
This is my second review for Adamabinta......for me talking to someone i trust grounds me....At this time i am in a high state of anxiety....knowing i can message her and be given a wealth of insightful information...calms me and helps me cope.....She is GREAT...Words cant express my gratitude
I can't even begin to describe just how amazing she is. She let me say things I thought I could never tell anyone, it took time but she didn't leave me. When I thought no one could understand she made me see that even if people cannot understand it doesn't need to be a barrier to them being supportive and not only did she listen but she gave me the courage to speak to people around me.
Adamabinta's ability to provide insight into complex psychological conditions and explain things on a deep level so you understand them makes her worth her weight in gold.

She doesnt just say things like..."oh its going to be ok" She listens to the problem and then makes a complex psychological evaluation

She has opened my eyes and helped me see why i do the things i do.

Talking to someone who is compassionate doesn't judge and is a "good listener" is very beneficia
Categories
Managing Emotions
Work Stress
Eating Disorder
Anxiety
LGBTQ+ Issues
Self-Harm
Breakups
Family Stress
Chronic Pain
Spirituality
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