Having a rough day

@Hurtandconfused86 Hi! Sorry you are going through a tough time.

@Hurtandconfused86

Have you tried talking to a listener here?

@leesemarie I have. I've found they don't really help much. They make too many wrong assumptions about what's going on in my life. Not their fault, just not what I need.

@Hurtandconfused86

It was a logical move to create a thread if listeners were not satisfactory. But in order for members to connect with you, it would help to write at your own convenience on your thread why you are hurt and confused...or about anything you want, then members will answer you if they relate or connect with your troubles...

I wish you welll...

@WhiteButterflee, the problem is, I don't know anymore. I came here at first due to marital issues.m, but we have since worked through those. I should be happy, but I just feel myself sinking into depression and I don't know why. I have good days, then out of the blue I'll have a day that I just don't care anymore and there's no real reason why.

@Hurtandconfused86

That is what is most disconcerning...most of us depressed people do not know why...my depression was lurking since the end of childhood but it really hit hard about 9 years ago when it became major depression and totally incapacitated me...I was a very active person and maintained my household by myself, letting my wife be free, travelled, studdied, worked...then it hit me...

Why, I do not know...

Just like you, I have bipolar depression traits too which means I am ok for a while then I am suddenly not ok again...well mostly not ok since major depression took over...

Due to my peculiar imune and methabolic systems most antidepressants did not work on me...

Many people say alcohol leads to depression but in my case was the reverse, depression was the cause of alcohol abuse since I had depression before I became an alcoholic...

I am sorry, I always said, in the depression comunity that us are so depressed tgat we cannot even help each other, however, we can share...

I have lost my wife to a divorce among other traumas but I don't think that is the core of my depression and always thought it was smth deeper or smth even physical since they found an unknown brain parasite or smth in Africa responsible for lethargy and loss of will to live...

In my own world I defined depression as: loss of will to live (because my other medical problems aside, I was able both physically and intelectually but my soul somehow put on the brake and said, no, not living anymore and all systems shut down...)

I am happy for ypu that you rebuild your marriage and the episodes are just bipolar depression like, maybe in your case it will pay to try some bipolar medication and therapy and just enjoy life to extent that you have it...(I regret now that I did not...)

I reallly wish you well...