Depression = Confusion
I'm Rae. My life is a big bowl of confusion. I am 17 years old and have depression. I suffered alone for 2 years before last June when I had a break down and my parent found out. I have gone to therapy once a week for it. My therapist, Kelly, asked me to go on a website like this because I don't have anyone close by that understands what I am going through. I thought it was a good idea too so here I am. It is so hard to even think of what to say or where to start. Depression seems like an endless cycle to me. It pops up in some way, shape, or form and messes with my head. I think I figure it out but then it plays tricks on me. I am happy one second and its gone the next. I then feel alone, sad, suicidal, I want to self harm; but then, I somehow pull it together (or at least recentlyI have). As of today I am 3 weeks clean from self harming but I think of it every day. I have medication that i haven't been taking for the last month and was first prescribed at the beginning of November. When I go to therapy I don't know what to say, it's hard to explain the emotions and thoughts going on inside my head. This results in me feeling stupid and crazy. I understand that this post is a big blob of a bunch of things but I cant seem to sort my thoughts. Can anyone relate?