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- Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?
So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?
@wontwakewontsleep
Wow, very interesting question. I never thought about it like that before!
When I think about my depression, I feel like a much younger, more vulnerable me.
Growing up my family moved around alot. My siblings and I transferred schools countless times across state lines. My Dad was always moving for work. This didn't mean that I had bad childhood, but it did often leave me feeling lonely, lost, leftout, or sometimes anxious about where I belong and who I was. These experiences really shaped who I am and they have allowed me to be able to connect with so many different types of people. I really enjoy getting to know people. Going to college were my golden years because I was able to finally stay put somewhere and build a strong circle of friends. I went out to meet people all the time and I loved it.
Fast forward several years to today (wow I can't believe its been that long already), I live by myself because my long term relationship that I was in didn't work out. I'm pretty much over it, but it has left me reeling. I'm not ashamed to say that I feel lonely. Its something that I think we all experience. But these past few years have been a struggle to get a hold of it.
My inner child who was scared, alone and lost often seems to make his presence known in alot of my thoughts. He's not a scary guy, I feel for him. He just wants comfort. And that is a hard thing to come by these days.
@diplomaticWest1394 - Thank you so much for sharing. I really realte with what you're saying. It's beautiful. For a lot of us, it really is our inner child desperately needing that comfort. This really moved me. Thank you
I will get it started since I posted this idea anyway...
I guess for me, my depression is like a hooded person whose features are hidden in darkness and smoke. Someone who is always over my shoulder telling me how bad I am and criticizing what I'm doing. Someone who once convinced me they were a good friend but who I now recognize as a bad influence. Someone who lives in a messy room in my brain. Someone who points out my mistakes and celebrates whenever I'm invalidated or fall short. Someone who constantly belittles me and reuses to have a real conversation with me. Someone who is very manipulative but has a very limited perspecive on things. Someone who is a jerk who will not leave me alone.
Depression isnt a human, it is a creature. It is in the driver seat of my car, i am in the passanger seat. This is not okay i am a contol freak and no one drives my car but me! But still we carry on. There is a cord that attaches us by the wrist, this cord slowly feeds depression my soul. As it feeds it starts to look like me, it has my freckles, it has my hair. In public i am depressions puppet, in reality i am a prisoner. Everyday Depression turns more and more human, like an exact mirror image of me, Until i am no longer needed and depression is stronger without me.
@brightBeach9334 - I loved this. :( Thank you for sharing. <3
@brightBeach9334 well done, that perfectly depictures depression! 
@brightBeach9334
good analogy. thank you for sharing
@Kerry88 - Sounds appropriate for sure. :( Thanks. <3
@bluePear2816 - Really relatable poem about what /who depression is for you. :( Thanks for writing that <3
Mine will be like a demon with 2 horns on his head, evil eyes and always telling me that all the negatives in life is true, and all the positives are lies or insignificant, always whispering in my ears and trying to manipulate my feelings and emotions in a negative way.
@terrytee - yes :( I definitely relate to that, thanks for sharing
@wontsleepwontwake Depression is a dark pit keeping me prisoner in a sunless world where no beauty exits. Depression is a kill joy, the person who sucks the life out of everything. Depression is selfish and mean and doesn't want me to enjoy life, but mostly depression is my teacher; teaching me the strength I have to come back out of the pit, the power I have to experience joy against the odds and the knowledge that despite depression, I am here :-)
@eternalForest63 - I really appreciated how you turned that around! It is like a person who sucks the joy out of everything :( but you're right - it has definitely made many of us stronger and more compassionate. I also look for good things and pieces of happiness to spite my depression. We can do this. *high five*
@wontsleepwontwake thanks. Hard to be positive in the pit but knowing how many times you have crawled out gives strength and the ability to sit with someone when they are in their pit. Take care 😄
@wontsleepwontwake oh and high five, we got this 😄
To me, would be a small ghost that goes with me everywhere. Sometimes it's really tiny, hidding behind things, randomly blowing cold air at me which I can ignore - at times I can't even feel it, it just lurks around the corners and watches. Others, it's bigger and sits on my shoulder, weighing me down and blowing cold air at me. It picks the negatives and enlarges them, it feeds on negatives - so ignores the positives or tries to make me discard them. And sometimes, it grows so much it can sit on my back and make me fall on the floor, unable to get up. The small ghost is visible but only to me. No one else can see it. And only I can feel the cold air. The cold air is the hopelessness and negative emotions.
@givemecoffee I know I said a "ghost" but I just don't like seeing it as a person. Makes me feel like it's someone else causing me harm as well. So there's that
@givemecoffee - ah, like a ghostly thing and not like a person's ghost, really true. you did such a good job describing your depresion ghost that I can nearly imagine what it must look like. thankso so much for your perspective <3
@givemecoffee - I loved this ghost analogy :( I totally understand what you mean. Thanks for sharing <3
I think that my depression is like a shadow that follows me everywhere, and every time I do something that makes me feel bad it's always there laughing at me or looking at me with disappointment. When I'm happy, the shadow is always right behind me to critique me until I recognize it being present. When I feel upset, the shadow encourages self harm and low self esteem related behavior. When I look in the mirror, the shadow is always right there in the reflection with me. When I go to sleep the shadow is right there in my bed whispering all the things I've messed up today, and it never ever stops until finally my body is too sleep deprived to stay awake any longer. The shadow is there first thing when I wake up in the morning, and it tells me all about how terrible the day is going to be and how much I'll disappoint my friends, my family, and myself. The shadow never goes away and it always has something to criticize.
@shyblackberry026 - yes to all of this :( You did an amazing job illustrating how haunting depression can be. I also think my depression builds up energy while I sleep because it is so fierce and powerful in the mornings. :( Thanks for sharing <3
@wontsleepwontwake I agree. Getting up in the morning is the hardest part :(
@shyblackberry026 - definitely :( <3
My depression is this person, with a smile on their face, turning into a snarl when I'm not looking, always pretending they want the best for me, being there for me, giving me a shoulder to cry on, almost like a friend supporting me. Except they're nothing but a friend. Because as I cry on their shoulder, the only things to "cheer me up" they say are negative things, bringing me even lower, trying to drive me to harm myself, making me isolate so that they can have me all for themselves, keeping me up at nights. Every day they point out the negative moments, make them look bigger than the good ones, try to make the good ones actually fade away, they make me fear the next ones, telling me it's better to stay in bed, telling me I shouldn't bother anyone, telling me no one wants to hear about me, no one wants to help or be there for me, they make me wake up scared and sweaty during the night to be sure that I don't get enough sleep to fight them properly, they make up crazy thoughts, try to make me believe things that don't make sense at first, encouraging me to take every little detail personally, almost like a friend gossiping. Except they're NOTHING but a friend.
@LinearWaves - absolutely depression is like this for me too :( makes us think its our friend even as it is working against us :( thanks for sharing <3
@wontsleepwontwake
Yes very against :( Hopefully when realizing it is not a friend (or a super toxic one) it can be a step towards getting better at handling it ❤
Depression is the man in black throwing stones at me and screaming about my sins. He drags me away from the light I seek. I found another whose heart was pure but depression snuffed the match before the fire could even burn. He is the chains that pin me to my bed for days on end sometimes. Like I'm stuck in this tunnel and all of the xoices around are muffles. Like being under water.
@Wildgypsy92 aww the match bit was very moving :( yes you are absolutely right, it throws us into a deep well that we think we can't crawl out of, where we can't breathe or hear or see :( thank you for your thoughts <3
If guess the best way to describe mine is it'd be like a big dark shadow. He's towering, always looming over me like a big cloud. He wears a hateful smirk on his face because he's winning & he knows it. He likes the mind games. He never says a word yet somehow he's always speaking sadness & negativity to me & he tells me to just give up already.
@honestLime3565 - very well said :( "He never says a word yet somehow he's always speaking sadness" - this is so true of my depression too :( Thanks for sharing <3
@wontsleepwontwake You're welcome. One thing do know for sure is I wish he'd go away. If I could give him a good whack with a broom & get rid of him I sure would lol I just want my old self back.
It actually makes me think of a TV character I saw.
Character was introduced as a woman called Lenny. Darkly funny, transgressive, not following conventional expectations of femininity, weirdly appealing. However, as the story went on, Lenny got more dangerous, trying to drive a wedge between the protagonist, saying negative and disturbing things. (Things that often weren't true, but always seemed in the moment like they might be true, and were designed to be as upsetting as possible, put a wedge between the protagonist and other potentially-helpful characters, and drive the protagonist towards decisions that were destructive and damaging.).
In the end Lenny was the monster, a psychic parasite who'd crawled inside the protagonist's head under a series of difference faces, and used lies and distorted memories and manipulation and fears and guilt to isolate and sicken the protagonist, in the hope of destroying him from the inside out. But up until pretty far in, she seemed like she might be friendly, like she might be on his side, like she might be telling him some truths no one else would admit.
So yeah, mine is Lenny.
@sunnyKitten9491 - I know which Lenny you're referencing! Great description of Lenny for people who aren't familiar with the character. You're so absolutely right - Lenny is an uncanny representative of what depression is like for many of us. I liked the slow reveal of that character's true nature, much like my own slow awareness that my depression is like a parasite feeding off me, while keeping me locked inside my own logic. :( Amazing comparison, really. <3
My depression is like this kid that has all this energy and is running around and bouncing off the walls and screaming and crying and everywhere and scattered. And then he gets tired and takes a nap and doesnt wake up for a while.
Currently hes sleeping. And Im feeling empty and hollow. Im not necessarily sad but im definitely not happy.
When he was awake I was crying everyday and taking care of him made me exhausted and I was sleeping all the time. There were so many thoughts and feelings and I felt overwhelmed.
And Im not sure which side of the kid I like more. Im scared for him to wake up again but it feels like nothingness while hes asleep and Im not sure I can stand that either.
@qualitytrash319 - Yes, depression is so exhausting! and like you say, the sort-of-numbness that comes after depressive episodes isn't much better either. :( I think the little kid analogy is really accurate. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective with us. <3
