One word to describe how I feel today is....
One word to describe how I feel today is....
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Please please, nobody take this the wrong way. I believe there is a difference between suicide and decide. Ive nothing left to live for, ive watched it be destroyed. My health is bad and im in pain. Ive traveled, been married, had 4 kids, good jobs, bought a house, so i should just be grateful for the good times instead of bitter for watching it all be stolen away and crumble. Ive been the best guy you ever wanted to meet, and the worst too if you poked at me enough to find my rage. Ive never had a role model but was always aware of my moral compass. Ive been frustrated and stood up to immoralities but watched those evil people conspire just like proverbs said they would, and i was astonished that all those were written: but i read them all after they happened. Brother betrayed brother, wife perfumes her sheet for another: friend betrays friend. Ive watched as theyve spun their lies and have done my level best not to hate; so it became deep dark disapointment which courses through my veins, it feels just as toxic as if it were hate. Ive managed not to hate but i feel insane by this deep pain and my brain is drained, my life turned so lame, ya see truth is so plain, its all i have to my name, as they have no shame in this sad pittiful game. So i think you know what im saying.
@humorousDay8793
I understand very well. I went through several of those things by myself.
@humorousDay8793 I noticed you started out very dark but moved into a lyrical transition that was very insightful, keep going with it I think it will help move some of that pain out
Today I feel
- better than the days ago
- angry about my jobcentre service person, who tries to drag me into something I don't want, but at the same time happy,
because I know the law is on my side
All in all not bad, because we have a holiday today and that means I will have time for myself and can start some things I have planned.
Expecting...
Uneasy
Confused ๐ Why cant i simply post a pic? Everywhere else its upload your pic and done. But here i dont undetstand this URL/links stuff. Seems a little confusing for something that has a system that work perfectly well....
Or maybr im just dumb ๐ lol
@Tigger76rty
It may be a safety reason so that they get the chance that people do not post inappropriate or dangerour pics that may harm us as users. It is inconvenient, but once you get the hang of it it will be fine. Iwait to learn it too and hope to be successful soon๐. It is a safety feature for all of us, that's all, otherwise this would be a really uggly place....
@sparklesinthewater
With the upmost respect that's bumkum. It doesnt matter how the system works, all uploads/links can be "held" for review by a moderator or site support worker. I completely understand your principle,and agree with it. But i just dont know why i cant work it out. Im no rocket scientist, but im no half wit either lol Tbh, while on the subject i find the whole site rather confusing. Im alerted to a reply to one of my commemts, but when i try to click on the notification to see said comment i just get diverted to the last page of that forum thread. If the reply was left days ago as in a few cases, am i meant to scroll though dozens and dozens of posts just to find my own?.... Bizarre!
Have a good evening plz ๐
@Tigger76rty
That's why everything is an ongoing process, just like life, improving or degrading bit by bit. Our suggestion count and the techs and the owners will decide how and if they want to improve. We make our voices heard and suggestions and it is up to them how they act upon them. This is voluntary work even if the owners get money, but the techs may not be the best or most knowleadgable, so they do to the best of their capacity...
The site grows organically and as long as good things over weigh bad things it's called progress and maybe we should just be patient and keep pressure on for better changes...
No worries mate๐
@sparklesinthewater
I apologize, that was remiss of me. I didnt mean to downgrade your time and devotion to others, especially with a subject like mental health. Im actually a very passive/cordial person, and have packed quite a bit of life experience into my 42 years on this earth. Still asking myself the same old questions....
Completely random thought, but wouldnt it be awesome to be a kid again, even for just one day..... I'd go back to being 12 or 13 when all that mattered was football and spending 12 hrs on a Saturday in the park kicking the ball around. Walking home caked in mud with nostrils full of that winter earthy, muddy, grass smell. I can still picture my mate running up the road to my house with a football under his arm.....
What fun, what simple innocence. Getting old sucks. Sorry but no two ways about it. Thank heavens im still 21 in my head, what?....lol
I have some free time atm, so if there is anything i can do to help the site dont hesitate to ask. I might not heed my own good advice but im a good listener, or any menial tasks that might help...
My hat is off to you, and thank you ๐
Lousy...
contemplative
Tired
panting
Numb.