One word to describe how I feel today is....

Hopeful

Sad

hopeful

Hopeless

DISABLED 🤪

Inferior

Happy but also defeated

Happy because I'm at the Halloween party I look forward to and enjoy every year.

Defeated as this was where my friendship with someone started 5 years ago but at the same time I had a heavy crush on this individual which grew over those years. Unsurprisingly it didn't work out but it pretty much sealed my fate and as this individual recently got married, I pretty much just gave up on my dream of enjoying my life with someone my heart wants permanently.

Just wasn't worth it anymore and better to be alone no matter how bad it hurts, and it does.

Right now, I feel very unfocused. There is a lot I have to do, but I need a lot of strength to do one thing after another.

Heavy

Apathetic