One thing I am feeling sad about today is....
I
I know im new but i feel the need to cut my arm and i just want to cry for no reason and i dont want my mom or dad to know because i dont want them to stress about me and i just feel so pointless and unwanted and i want to be normal and excepted
Just being alive man. Like I'm struggling so much. I'm smoking way too much and it's starting to affect my life but i can't stop. I'm failing a class and i was already on academic probation twice last year and at this point idk what's going to happen to me. I'm sad that a failure like me exists.
I can't seem to live up to the expectations people have of me. I get depressed, drink and then get more depressed.
I
I have not been out with friends in years because I am ashamed of how I look.
I finally had enough. I blocked my whole family tonight and I feel numb now. I think its shock but Im not completely concerned. I just want to know that everythings gonna benokay even if its not okay right now like... will I be alone ...forever
It
that i am doing nothing with my life and i hate what i have become
@blissedNblessed thanks for getting vulnerable but also very sorry you are feeling this way. Having said this, it is really good that you have identified that you don't like what has become as this can actually be really hard. It is also sometimes something we struggle to want to change as well!!
A step..even if a tippy toe....slow....small....abit delayed; still a step forward and yeah is the hardest. The rainbow comes from the storm itself so let the worst remaining bits make you and not break you when you have the opportunity to start, right now even, making a life for yourself you like and are proud of and want. Nothing is impossible if you believe, if you believe you can your halfway there. Whatever you put into life you get out of it because your life is in your hands and what you make it is what it will be and in the end, no one else can make you happy - happiness comes from within. Forgive yourself, let go of what was and focus on what you can control as it is never to late to be what you could have been xxx keep strong
@tornwillow
Thank you so much for the response.
Yes, your right...i got myself into this and i can get myself out.
and its a good thing to even notice that my life is like this and i am so unhappy bc i can not change that which i am not aware of.'
going to take a LONG time to get myselkf and my life anywhere near where i want it to be - but i am going to try.
I was doing better. So much better. And then I messed it up and I'm back to where I was.
@trespaises
I've felt like that many times when I'm having a relapse, but one good thing to know is that you learned lessons and grew stronger from your past experiences. It may not always feel that way, but hopefully you can use the things you learned in the past to make a quicker and less painful recovery. Sometimes recovering isn't a direct ascent but more "two steps forward, one step back". Don't lose sight of your goal and you will make it there someday. I wish you all the best luck on your journey.
