One thing I am feeling sad about today is....
Not being able to study. I have been trying to study for the past three weeks but I just can't. I can't even get out of my bed. I have people who care about me but I keep pushing everyone away even though I feel lonely all the time. I'm just sad and mad that I can't get myself to study to achieve the dreams that I have always dreamed of. I'm sad because I no longer enjoy my field of study and I just think the stuff we study about makes me even more depressed and hopeless. Today I'm sad because I lashed out at my family even though they're trying to help me. I'm sad because I know there's no one to blame but myself for everything I'm feeling and going through. I'm sad because lately I feel like it's getting worse.
My anxiety and the anniversary of my dad's death
@PizzaRollsQueen I'm so sorry to hear about your dad...
not only did my dad not want me to come over to his birthday party today...but my sister ( she lives with him) baked him a cake and as she was cooking it, left to "go into the garage" but ended up going out for the night...never even had the cake she worked so hard for.
My bestfriend left me a year ago(died) and Ive been dreading it sense! I just need him back! I want to be with him so bad rn! 😰 I miss him so much!
I have no spoke to a single person ALL day expect my aunt.
It is 4:40 in the late afternon and I think I just want to sleep the day away
Im sad that whenever I speak to my family theres a confrontation. I used to take full blame and do whatever I could to make it better but I find myself at that point where I want to be respected and heard. There was even a time I just stopped talking about my feelings and opinions because I felt like it triggered the conflict so I would remain to myself. Isolated. I dont want to be ignored for months anymore, or have an emotional dump of everything theyve been keeping quiet to use as arsenal later. I want to have good strong conversations and to connect. Sometimes Im afraid Im going to just have to stop talking to them altogether and ...be alone. Im scared of that. Im terrified that Im going to just be alone. They think Im a problem but their emotions, the way they talk, and avoid certain topics? Its insane to me.
@conscientiousLee4188
I can relate. I too have had family who saw me as difficult because I had my own thoughts and feelings. I was frustrated and very sad. Sending lots of hugs. I sure needed them.
I'm not good enough. I'm too ugly and stupid for everyone and everything...
my reiki therapist doesn't want to work with me anymore :(
#abandoned
I feel absolutely horrible I honestly don
I feel like I cant get caught up financially as hard as I try it is just my life to constantly struggle to keep everything from falling apart. I am trying to deal with my terrible depression and anxiety as this fact of my life torments my daily struggle to stay in my lonely existence. My ill father is becoming worse and I am trying to accept and brace my emotions that as much as I want and pray for him to get better it is a battle he very likely will lose. I have lost one parent already 16 years ago when my mother lost her battle with ALS and it broke my heart and I have never been the same. I cant imagine life without my father and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and just cry. Life is so emotionally fucked for me right now. I am 56 and trying to not give up and lose my mind from the lack of happiness I feel everyday. I have nothing to look forward to in life. I just feel like it is my path to attempt to endure the pain of each day and battle to keep gratitude. For what? That it is not worse? I dont know how to make it any better. Believe me I am well aware life is not easy and we all have our personal struggles. I am just so alone and broken. I dont feel like it is ever going to get better. I am just destined to live my life in misery trying to believe it is all ok and I will survive. I am sober and fighting for my life everyday I living in a shit hole apartment hoblbling to and from from work having to use public transportation. I had hope I was going to be able to own another vehicle but it is painfully obvious I am going to never get out of debt from my medical induced poverty. I had saved up money to try to purchase a car but my spinal condition caused so much medical expenses and caused me to miss so much work I dont think I will ever be fortunate enough to have another vehicle. If it was not for bad luck I wouldnt have any luck at all....lucky me! How do I manifest a new prosperous destiny? You hear successful people preach about the power of our mind and willing the universe to create the life we desire....it just does not happen as hard and as many times I try to be optimistic and positive.... things just stay shit. What am I not doing? Why doesnt the universe support me to create a better life? It just feels so hopeless......cant I get another chance to be happy?
