One thing I am feeling sad about today is....
i realise i dont actually exist. i think all the time of the narc who discarded me. it's really sad i cared so much for him. ive had a lot of suffering and all life is, is a battle between heaven and hell every day. i dont feel like i can truly bond to anyone and maybe i have some weird complex that i cant shake but honestly its hell on earth for me. ptsd has been really bad for me and i hope to move soon. my old coping skills dont work and everythings been exhausted, help doesnt help. my heart feels so afraid. setting boundaries with wicked ppl is very hard b.c. they have this ferocious demonic energy. my best friend has no time for me. i feel like i look back on nothing but hell and its hard for me not to be tough on me. i just want an end but none never comes. im tired of being so alone and battling so hard alone. its not even wroth it to exist so why do i. i am tired. i cleaned today and just stared into space. and listened to some music. nothing i do means shit and nothing i am means shit unless im caretaking someone else, but no one caretaked me. there are no answers and god and religion make my head explode, so im over it. is there even anything ? out there or in here? something, but whats the point. only highlight of hte day was playing lake of fire at the neighbour who was so shit to me. humans will never change and i dont expect them to. yea sorry this was a novel. bye for now. not looking for anything just to vent.
I feel lonely and unloved and alone. Work is terrible. Stuff with my mom's health. I keep breaking down under the stress and I just feel so weak.
@creativeCamp2095 so sorry to hear that you experienced so many things, keep going and i am so proud of you that you didnt give up.
My life. I just want to cry, it's too much.
i know the feeling, i wish i could cry more and i wish i could allow myself to@dancinggirl2
@MickeyTawa1976 and peachGhost9, thank you. Hugs to you both.
@dancinggirl2,
so true 😔😔
I don't even want to be alive anymore.
@tluper6491 😔😔😔sorry. Same here we don t deserve this life we deserve better
Today is my 2 twin best friend
I miss my boyfriend. And I just want him to come back and be safe and healthy. But I don't know where her is. And I feel so alone and depressed without him. It's been a few weeks and his birthday is coming up.
Why everyone I love leaves like it's nothing
@soyboyaustin, I ask myself just the same question 😔.
Maybe they want not to hurt you (when they realize that they need to left you), but they don't know how to and that's why they do like nothing happens, like they don't know you anymore or ever... It seems, you were and are nothing for them. It hurts, but they don't found any exits else, maybe.
(sorry for mistakes)
@soyboyaustin
that is always hard
In the last 10 years I have made so many permanent mistakes that now I have no future ahead to look forward to, so I have planned the Countdown.
@MickeyTawa1976
It has been six month since my aunt death.
My very recently dead fathers birthday.
