Forgiveness Day 17th July 2023

True and genuine forgiveness is soooo very hard... but soooo very worth it!

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

@IsayUncle

Hi IsayUncle!

Thank you so much for sharing this, so very nice and well said! 🌸

@IsayUncle

What a terrific quote. Thank you for sharing that with us all.

Oh, If only...

Forgiveness is better than resentment. It's empowerment. But if you forgive, do it once and don't forget

@Fradiga

Hi Fradiga!

Yes I agree, it's way better than resentment, wise words! 🌸

Thank you for sharing!

Someone once told me

"Forgiveness is not forgetting...
It's remembering and letting go."

@Positron2

True, it loses its emotional impact and keeps just the memory

@YourCaringConfidant

So true <3 thank you for sharing this! :)

@YourCaringConfidant

Hi there Caring!

Thanks for sharing your insights!

1. I would like to forgive myself for being such a people pleaser and forgive myself for not allowing me to follow my own inner voice on matters. I know I am only human, i have flaws and imperfect but that's okay. I have learned to be authentically me, and not apologize for speaking out on things that I believe are wrong and not okay.
2. For me, the biggest thing for me to forgive is people purposely traumatizing me for their own personal gain, and knowingly disrespecting me or dehumanizing me because they feel its right for them to do so. I know i am not a perfect person and very well made my mistakes and i have learned from them, not repeating them again. However, I do what I can to be kind and reciprocate positive energy as much as I can.

3.The positive aspects of practicing forgiveness, is that you are not forgiving someone for them to be happy or to be back in your life. You are solely doing for yourself, to gain that peace of mind that you deserve after being treated so insignificantly and poorly.

4.If I could express forgiveness it would towards my mom, because now that I am a mom an went through something awefully traumatic with my daughter's bio father, I can see why she did the things she did. Though it may not make it right, I forgive her because she was doing what she thought was right at the time with the resources she had.

@PhoenixButterfly97

Hello PheonixButterfly!

I really appreciate your post, you summarized perfectly abou Forgiveness!

Take care and... keep on going 💪😊

* I want to forgive myself for not being perfect all the time. It has taken such important moments from my life when I should have been concentrating on other things, but I chose to waste my time in trying to perfect my wrongs, my flaws, which were irreparable. I want to forgive myself and embrace the flaws I have, because at the end of the day, that is what makes me human; capable, worthy, and deserving of love and kindness. Also, I want to forgive myself for not being selfless all the time. There have been instances in the past where I chose myself above others, whose burden I still carry after all these years. I want to let go of that and understand that sometimes being selfish is good.

* Not so surprisingly, the main obstacle that comes between me and forgiveness is my prewired brain. I find it difficult to forgive myself but I am too easy on others.

* Forgiveness saves you so much time! When you forgive, you also learn to forget, and with that comes self-satisfaction and peacefulness. If one can't forgive, then they constantly overthink everything and waste so much time in their head, trying to overanalyze the situation which promises nothing. So, one positive aspect would definitely be peace of mind!

* "Forgiving somebody does not make you weak, it makes you one of the strongest people to ever live."

Thank you for this lovely post, I got to share my feelings! ❤️

@MagnificentCloud803

Hi MagnificentCloud803!

You post is sooo beautiful! It contains a lot of wise words, you expressed very well every point, so glad you joined to share!

I love that: ''I want to forgive myself for not being perfect all the time''

Thank you!

@MeaningfulSilence forgiveness is by far my biggest mental health secret. How I keep peace.

Forgive EVERYONE EVERYTHING!!! It isn't for them. It is FOR YOU!!!

I forgave my legal parents who were never in their lives sorry for a thing they did to me.

Not even when convicted of felony abuses against me.

I don't know what they think of it all now THEY ARE DEAD.

Justice caught up with them!!!!

Forgiveness frees me from the poisonous attacks of others. Cause if someone poisoned you, they're ok if you die from it. That is why they did it, so don't expect them to be sorry or change.

Forgiveness the royal road to freedom!! Happy Forgiveness Day!

@RogueOne1983

RogueOne....hi, sorry to know you went through that, so very difficult to even think about Forgiveness in certain situation.

So glad you gave it some thoughts and realized that it frees you from negative emotions that could ''break you into pieces''.

Wishing you to experience good relationships in the future, sending you good vibes!

@MeaningfulSilence thanks for this great reply, appreciated!

@RogueOne1983

You are welcome!

Hope to read you again in the forum!

Take care

@MeaningfulSilence forgiveness is a personal journey, and it may not happen overnight. Everyone's path to forgiveness is unique. Forgiveness is not about forgetting the hurtful actions of others; it's about freeing yourself from the negative emotions that can hold you back.

@scenicNight12

Hi scenicNight!

Yes, it's a journey for own freedom!

Agreed it needs its time, but sounds good to try this path 😊

thank you for sharing!

@MeaningfulSilence ooh I love this post! Thanks so much for putting it together

I used to not fully understand forgiveness like I do now. I used to think that if I forgave someone, then it was letting them off the hook. Almost saying to them that it was okay to do whatever they did. But as I have matured in my understanding, I am seeing that thats not the case at all

By forgiving someone, I'm actually allowing myself to be at peace. I no longer have to hold bitterness and resentment towards that person. Instead, I can start to move on and heal from the pain etc that I have experienced.

@beck1

Hi there beck1!

Glad to see you here, met you already in Forumland, here and there 😊

I did exactly the same, I have understood later in life the real meaning of forgiveness!

Thank you for sharing!

* I would like to forgive myself for not being able to forgive my Mom and holding on to the pain and anxiety from childhood into my adult life.

* The main obstacle to forgiving myself is this guilt I feel towards my spiritual mentor. He challenged me to at the very least stop saying anything negative about my Mom. He told me if I can't he will stop talking to me. I failed and he went away, I went on a shame spiral idk how to get out of.

* Practicing forgiveness generates compassion, and loving kindness. It helps break down negative emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

* Even though I am still holding onto fear and anger towards my Mother for mistreating me, that doesn't make me bad just hurt and fearful. Even though I didn't follow the directions of someone I greatly respect and miss doesn't mean I don't deserve self love or forgiveness. I have to live with me everyday and being at war with myself is exhausting. I deserve peace.

@L4J4

Hello L4J4, it's really sad to hear how many times you have been hurt by those that should have been supporting you. It's admirable you are practicing forgiveness the best you can and... I would put the accent on something you said ''I have to live with me everyday and being at war with myself is exhausting. I deserve peace''. That's so true L4J4.

You deserve peace, love and care. Never forget it!

Thanks for sharing

Forgiveness is freedom. When you truly forgive and let it go, you set yourself free and it brings peace into your life.

I think the most difficult thing to forgive is betrayal. You may forgive and let it go, but trust won't be gained easily again.

@imaginativeField13

Hi imaginativeField!

I understand how trust suffers the most when there is betrayal. Difficult to trust again, but we can forgive ourselves for needing to keep the guard up 👍

Happy Forgiveness Day to you too 😊

Various posters here have said similar things but for many it is not that simple.

saying you forgive and feeling it deeper down may not happen.

I have tried for forgive using the "person or persons were doing the best they could with what the had" (by what they had could mean knowledge, compassion, foresight, intention)

Honestly i find the practice of forgiving for your own peace etc ........has been hijacked by those who expect to be forgiven for anything and everything they do.

When a person says "forgive but not forget "...... how does that coexist ? ...each time i remember what was done the feelings come back so did the forgiveness not stick.....

if someone has done something and i forgive but not forget ... is it just waiting for it to happen again?

There are times and things that have happened i have forgiven ........ I realized i could not hold on to items that were toxic.... but most i have also forgiven from a big distance easy to forgive someone dead for example because you never will revisit ....... maybe forgive someone you will hopefully never run into again ....... the work comes to play to forgive someone you will still have contact with.

True forgiveness is so hard, but once you realize that it would beniffit your health and mental stability, it really does make a huge change to ones life.

However just because you truly forgave does not mean that you need to allow what broke you in the first place, back in to your life.

@limegreenTalker2426

Hi there!

Sure, it's a benefit, for own peace and that doesn't mean more bad things caused by others are allowed to happen again . Thanks for sharing!

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

- Mark Twain

@slowdecline48

thank you for sharing this slowdecline48!

@MeaningfulSilence Thanks. I'm surprised anyone would approve of that quote 😂

@slowdecline48

Hi!

Don't worry, everyone is free to write their own opinions. You can share yours or also quotes you like. 😊

@MeaningfulSilence

* What's something you would like to let go by forgiving someone or yourself?

i would like to let go of any instance in the past where someone i knew misjudged me for no apparent reason, because obviously, no one is perfect...

* What do you sense to be the main obstacle for you to forgive?

for me, the main obstacle against forgiveness is being too stubborn about living in the past, instead of the present

* What are in your opinion some positive aspects of practicing forgiveness?

one positive aspect of practicing forgiveness is remembering that everyone has their own set of emotions and a personality that should not be overlooked, so definitely consider how others feel, as well as yourself!

* Is there a thought you would share to express your forgiveness?

a thought that expresses my forgiveness is "it's okay to forgive and forget!"

@NewYorker11

Hi there NewYorker11!

Thanks for sharing, you also added with your own words some good points to Forgiveness topic!

Feel free to update me about your progress in trying to live more in the present moment :)

Take care!

@MeaningfulSilence Is there a thought you would share to express your forgiveness?

They are just like me. They want to be happy. They do not want to suffer. So even though they did something that I think is inappropriate, I am going to let it go because:

I feel better when I do not hold grudges.

Grudges do not help me in any way and do not make me setronger, only more vulnerable to people pushing my buttons.

I do not want to hurt that person because they will only react like a wounded animal and try to hurt me more.

And if I do hurt them, any temporary feeling of revenge will be replaced by a sense of having done something wrong no matter how I justify it.

Every time I get angry it hurts me and makes me unhappy. Rather than blame the one who provided the stimulus, I am going to avoid anger whenever possible and say I am sorry for getting angry if for no other reason than that I feel better.

@soulsings

Hello there soulsings!

You are right: practicing forgiveness has the power to free us from some negative emotions.

Thank you for sharing!

Just forgive and forget. Thanks,all for your help and support. X

@purpleSea7109

Hi there purpleSea!

It's good that you appreciated people's contribution, I did too!

@MeaningfulSilence
Thank you for this beautiful initiative!

* What's something you would like to let go by forgiving someone or yourself?
Being harsh on myself, underestimating my past and overlooking my needs to chase a socially constructed image of success and please others.
I rarely have a hard time forgiving others, I realize it's an ups-and-downs path.

* What do you sense to be the main obstacle for you to forgive?
High standards and rigid values.

* What are in your opinion some positive aspects of practicing forgiveness?
Walking into life with an energy of acceptance and curiosity. Cultivating new and old relationships with kindness and openness to any possible mistakes on the way.

* Is there a thought you would share to express your forgiveness?
When it's no longer serving you, let it go...