Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel like dying. Not dying actually but just not existing anymore. I don't want to hurt everyone around me, and I'm too scared to ever put myself through the pain of dying and finding out what's out there in the unknown, but I can't do this anymore. I feel trapped. Doing this is like banging my head against a wall. I've felt this ugly feeling that is my depression for as long as I can remember and nothing works. Therapy hasn't helped. Medications haven't helped. I feel like I was born broken and there's no fixing me. I feel sick and horrible like every cell in my body is vomiting.

Also hi I'm sorry I'm new here and that's a hell of a way to make an appearance I apologize

I feel numb to the core, like there's a weight going from my chest to my throat, inhibiting me from breathing properly. I feel weak, aching, heavy. Everything hurts and simple activities seem so hard for me to do. I feel invisible, or that I should be, because I don't want anyone to see me or deal with me and my dumb ol issues.

I feel unnecessary and unwanted. I spent the day at work, didn't speak with any of my co-workers. Kept checking my phone for texts or notifications, nothing. Came home to my empty house, and watched tv until I moved to my bed. It's been a lonely day today.

I want to lie in bed and pretend the world doesn't exist.

I want to self harm until the point where I feel numb.

I want to throw away my medications.

I want to run and dive off of a cliff.

I'm not doing any of those things, I'm out living my life and trying to feel positive.

I'm going to beat this.

I'm going to feel okay again.

I'm trying so hard every second of everyday.

I'm going to keep trying.

To to everyone else reading this, keep trying, keep getting better.

Today I don't feel so good, kinda feel down in the dumps. Ive been quite good recently. Anyone else feel like they don't have any motivation to do anything?

I am not feeling well my boyfriend last night fight alot and he is still angry I feel so lonely I have no interest in me I have complex for me I don't love myself

I don't feel like getting out of bed. The things that I have to do today overwhelm me. I can't believe I have to shower again, I just did it yesterday. I don't want to eat and I just want to sleep. I wish so hard for something that could help me when I feel like this but nothing ever helps

@Laura

I am trying a new practice of mindfulness and positivity which I shall bring to my clients also. Everybody deserves to feel happy.

I actually had a great day until I got home. I scheduled time with my listener, and I couldn't help but think about not all day. I was actually excited. Now ive just been foolishly waiting for thier response like some 13 year old waits for her boyfriend. I feel so pathetic. I mean maybe I'm worth forgetting. I'm depressed beyond belief. I'm not going to send another message and look desperate. I don't know what to do. That's how my day went.

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm worthless to people. I'm afraid no one likes me and I'm not young enough to think that anymore. I'm tired of being talked down to by peers and saying nothing.