Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@Laura

I am trying a new practice of mindfulness and positivity which I shall bring to my clients also. Everybody deserves to feel happy.

I actually had a great day until I got home. I scheduled time with my listener, and I couldn't help but think about not all day. I was actually excited. Now ive just been foolishly waiting for thier response like some 13 year old waits for her boyfriend. I feel so pathetic. I mean maybe I'm worth forgetting. I'm depressed beyond belief. I'm not going to send another message and look desperate. I don't know what to do. That's how my day went.

@Redheadbaker7206

Thats so normal because replies support u.i do The same i feel bad and become a little children when a listener offline.may be u can try another listener online one.because just you need say something and let it go.

Big big hug dont reel yourself aline.

💙💙

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm worthless to people. I'm afraid no one likes me and I'm not young enough to think that anymore. I'm tired of being talked down to by peers and saying nothing.

I feel hopeless

Today I am doing quite well 😊 I got out of my down mood, and I finally got my tattoo in memory of my cat that I've been wanting for months 😊

I feel like not wanting to do anything. With anyone.

I just want to be locked in a room by myself and not exist.

The anxiety arises,

Its really hard to live with my mom, shes a single parent whos neglecting me financially and emotionally. relationship never goes better, ended up with how she cant trust me at all as her daughter, and it makes me sad deep down there. I dont have anyone else in this world to share anything, I always wanted to have goodrelationship with her I tried so much for that...

She keep hurting me, verbally, physically, emotionally. Ive been patiently to face this alone. But tonight i feel like i cant tk this anymore

@pinkTea

I'm not doing too well right now...I just got a bad evaluation at work and found out there were bad comments about me from guests...I am a singer and I take great pride in my ability to sing and perform. I feel like I have grown as a performer and gave a lot each show. I was sweaty after ever set and the dance floor was packed. Guests were asking for encores. So, I don't understand who these guest are who wrote bad comments and when they were in my lounge. But worse of all, I had this issue once before when I must admit I wasn't giving my best. This time, I have twice and much. And management went behind my back then to coperate then. They did it again this time and I was blindsided with a bad evaluation. I contacted coperate and they said I am still on probation...I don't know what's going on...I have never gotten bad comments before the last contract I had with this company and I am a way better singer and performer now than I was even 5 years ago. But the fact that management on the ship is two faced, telling me how much they love my performance but then emailing head office the instant I make one mistake without addressing the issue with me, and that the guy at corporate who has performed with me before isn't standing up for me or asking what's different, and the fact that they keep hiring instrumentalist who don't know the style of music we play but I always het blamed when they mess up is so hurtful...its like one bad thing after another recently or over the past two years I should say. I was betrayed by a man I really loved who I trusted with my life and then we got in a really bad argument and I said some mean things to him...I don't feel like I have anyone I can trust except my mom and even she doesn't know all of me...I'm so alone and now may be out of a job...its not fair that crappy people get to be happy and I keep getting the short end of every stick I pick up lately...I just want to sleep for days... :( 😢

@Haruren hey, I'm not sure how members can talk to each other other than replying on the forum like this or group chats. I still haven't learned all the ways of this site yet, but welcome!

Interesting

I don't feel great today, I have an app where I track my moods and I listed it as "awful" today. I've started new medication (2 weeks ago) and I know a side effect is that it might get worse before it gets better but my mood is painfully low. I have pretty bad anxiety and I struggle very much with intrusive thoughts mainly around harm towards myself, I don't feel as though I want to act on them but they are distressing to say the least and those have been particuarly bad.

I feel jumbled in my thoughts, I want to be alone but I'm desperately lonely, I feel like there's an ocean of emotional distance between me and my friends and husband, I don't feel like I can accurately explain how I feel because I know it doesn't make sense really.

Im trying to find new ways to relieve my stress and lift my mood, this app, meditation, I have a diary now etc but it feels worse each day.

i feel sad at work, but when I walk in the door, it is even worse at my house. Here is where I want my life to take place-only it has been ripped apart and tore to pieces. At this moment in time, I could care less about anything.

I am so tired of not feeling well, I will start my day being fine and all of a sudden someone will say something and I immediately shut down, I hate it! I am sooooo done, I want meds or something to stop this, I always feel tired... My dad says it's lack of self esteem, but I don't know...

Had a bad day at work, my co-workers are awesome and I am so thankful for them, but my boss has been on a rampage lately, I feel like she is trying to catch everyone making small mistakes to document them and try to find a way to let them go. I don't trust anyone and I need to let that go. Trying to accept what will happen, will happen is exeptionally difficult. On the flip side, we had dinner with a friend who I became close to once I met my husband. This person has never opened up to me until tonight and it felt amazing! I am on cloud nine becuase I finally feel as though we have bonded and built a strong base for a great friendship. I am absolutely looking forward to what the future holds. Although it is hard somedays to go to work due to the environment, this was most definitly the boost I needed to keep going. I feel like I've done something right today.

I had a very good day yesterday. But I woke up at 3:30 am after having a bad dream about being abandoned by people I trusted. I've just been online for an hour in my phone because I am afraid to let my thoughts wander as I try to sleep. I feel a tightness in my chest. I feel alone again and angry that everyone tells me how great I am but no one stays. Angry that he is here in my country with her and happy and not caring about me. Angry that everyone else seems to fit in somewhere. Afraid to let another guy close because I don't want my reason to stay in my home town to be because of a guy. I would always resent staying because I don't know if I could trust him or anyone. Frustrated with myself for not being able to get over the guy and the betrayal and the whole situation like everyone says I should. Worried about my job future. Tired of feeling so many things at once and having no one to talk to.

Hi I'm new to here,

i suffer from depression although it's like an attack to me. Sometimes it just comes and hits me and I end up crying my heart out idk why. I've been through a lot but now I'm living a good life. Lately I've been waking up at night realizing I was crying on my sleep, I came here for people that might help me but so far I've not gotten a heart to heart conversation. It's now 4:54am and I ended up crying again, my heart hurts so much idk why. Nothing bad happened to me or anything. I feel like I'm just so different from everyone so I'm sorta the careful person, but I do socialize. I have trust issues, but honestly I don't think I need anyone as long as I have God, everyone knows I prefer working alone and they said it's not good but at a vey young age prob 6, I've been taking care of myself. I have a pretty good memory that I still remember my friends from kinder although they forgot....and I just feel so different and my heart just starts hurting out of nowhere and I end up with this sad sad feeling. I don't know if this is a sickness or something but the crying seriously needs to stop. ;-;

Can't stop crying today, I'm not getting out of bed for anything ✌🏻️ I just wanna drift away from everything and everybody.

today i felt calm. body still pretty sore but its just the effects of a good gym workout #nopainnogain

I did yoga in the morning, which made me feel good. Then I felt really low all day -- didn't leave my house and obsessed over my ex. After crying a bit, I decided to delete his phone number and to take off the birth control patch. I hope my mood swings and tummy ache are related to the patch!

@Victimofescapism sounds like we are going through the same thing (except I'm not on the patch). What happened?

@Victimofescapism birth control can actually cause depression.

Today's a really hard day :( my husband and I got into a foolish fight that had me in tears, just as I'm sobbing I got a call saying I was supposed to be at work - I swore it was my day off! I was so upset I had a massive panic attack. My heart hurts, everything just feels like it's a swirling pool of madness. I'm so scared all the time of dissapponting everyone, always apologising for the stupidest things. I just want to hide, I don't want anyone to see this side of me and it just gets harder as the years tick by to be ok. Sometimes I honestly can't remember what life used to be like before depression set in, mild depression seems to be my natural state followed by intense depression on top. (Dysthymia?)

Anyway...today is Monday. I didn't go to work. I feel like a heartbroken failure today and feel like everyone already thinks i am unreliable and useless.

Thanks for listening, I desperately needed to vent :(

Awful... just awful. I felt really good after running and then I jumped straight to developing my Android app, after which I did some studying of Unity engine and a bit of refresher of Linear Algerba...

But as soon as I stopped, took a breather from all of it and tried to interact and talk with friends and family, I began to feel really low and irritated.

Because my mind immediately began to lush towards her (very dear friend, who has hurt badly few days ago) and everything else just became nuisance at that moment. Now after a bit ot workout I feel better and I will try to go to a cinema and see how that goes for me but it's really hard, when all you could think is about us and things, stuff about we talked, did.... which we may never do, unless she makes up her mind and comes all out front.

That and I feel bit of anxiety about decision to change the Uni, because I wanted to finish master program on another, which I like more and it has more to offer. At least that all seemed like good idea at the time... Now it's to late to revert anything and I'm not so sure anymore.

I am a tad depressed, a girl I like and hold very dear can't make up her mind what she wants, even though we both know how we feel about each other and made few important promises, which obviously to her don't mean much as to me, or am I just too self-centered and hypocrite? - Nah, that's rhetorical question, other people have told me opposite...Man, do I wish it that was the case.

Then there is this University switching I decided, so I could finish master's course (post-graduate), in the University with more benefits, better reputation and opportunities... Seemed like good idea at the time, I still think it is but I have doubts, unreasonable doubts.

And then there is family issues which last for well over a year now and there so no sight of end to them, they just put additional strain to mine already overly stressed state..

@Steefy

Hi, do you think maybe she's afraid to say what she feels to you because maybe she REALLY doesn't know how you actually feel about her. And the promises, perhaps she's afraid you won't follow through. Just looking at it from another side. I really don't know your relationship. Maybe just sit and talk seriously with her. Good luck, I hope it works out

Every time I think about my financial situation I want to die.

That's how I feel right now.

I just had to make yet another student loan payment. I wanted to use the last of my money for another psychiatrist appointment but I guess that's not happening. 2bad4me

@LaaLa I am sorry to hear you are having financial issues. Sometimes there are ways to default on your loans

@Jamie0906 I think you mean deferment. Defaulting on a loan means you need to pay the full sum immediately - it's the last thing I want to do. I already got a 6 month deferment for three of my loans, but the fourth one got rejected for deferment. But yes, it sucks

I felt okay today. Until a little bit ago. Then I felt like I was unimportant. I know she loves me, but it doesn't feel that way right now.

@TheInfiniteSea - I'm really sorry to hear that - I know it may be hard for you right now as it sounds like you're having to go through a lot.. please know that we're all here to support you, so please feel free to connect to us at anytime, and we'll happily listen I hope things start to get better soon, and thankyou for sharing this with us all, hang in there<3

I feel scared because for the past few month I have felt sad tired and alone. I'm really scared that this means depression. I've been having really dark thoughts too and I feel so stupid for thinking them.

@HavaLynn - I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so scared - it sounds like things feel quite unclear and uncertain lately Please don't feel stupid for thinking and feeling this way, because it's definitely far from stupid! Thankyou so much for posting this - please feel free to connect to any of the amazing listeners here, or join group chats, look at self help chats.. just anything that may be helpful, I really hope things start to get better for you soon - please know that I believe in you!

@Nicola2468 thank you

Just numb as usual

@plummaple9898 - I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling numb.. but I really do appreicate you posting this and for staying here Please feel free to use 7cups as much as possible to maybe help.. perhaps by talking about how you feel with someone, or reading up information about your situation, or merely just seeking a friend for support.. just please know we're all here for you if you ever need us, I wish you all the best

Today, I feel...stressed, frustrated and just like I want to cry and scream at the same time. I didn't want to do anything today but I ended up going out with my sisters and my mum to get coffee. I love coffee and it usually improves my mood. But not today.

I snapped at my brother. I shouted at him, actually shouted. I said sorry, but he said that if I was sorry I wouldn't have shouted at him. But he just doesn't understand that everything and anything can make me snap. I am sorry, I hate myself for yelling at him.

I want to write something. But I know that anything I write will be extremely depressing. I have thoughts to write, I have ideas, but...I know it'll turn out just...depressing. I have the motivation, but it's not going to last long.

I just want to scream!

I'm emotionally exhausted by the last 24 hours. I've beaten myself up over & over about a mistake. A full blown panic attack & a day of ruminating about why I am not worthy of love. Followed by episodes of crying and feeling isolation is the key and my demise.

@gregariousTangerine6100

hi...I also always beat myself about the things I've done wrong. Here's one small thing you've done right - connect with others who can understand a little of what ur going thru...