Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I'm just ugly that's my biggest problem. I hate myself and I want to die.

I'm filled with rage I hate other people's happiness I'm invisible and I wish the earth would explode

I'm filled with rage I hate other people's happiness I'm invisible and I wish the earth would explode

I feel sad

I can't sleep the entire night.. I know somewhat what happened to my last boyfriend.. I won't see him again until August and that hurts.. hopefully he can visit me at least once before then.. I miss him dearly. Most people are angry with me.. And I've only gotten somewhat forgiveness from one of them.. He's still distant.. I really wish Sean could come back and that I didn't mess up everything

For the first time today, I am missing a work thing (after school parent's meeting) because I feel so terrible. I needed to leave and go to bed. I feel like such a failure for letting this run my life. I'm already leaving my job at Christmas break to move back to the states because I need help. But now I can't even handle the things I'm expected to do for the next few weeks.

Unloved

Inferior.

I feel alone and apathetic especially when I can't find words to reply to others even in normal conversations. It's an up and down battle, a Rollercoaster of emotions and lack of it.

Just feel empty.. Stuck in a rut and my life isn't really going anywhere. I'm alive but I'm not living. What's happiness? What am I missing? How have I gone this long without realizing how hollow my life actually is?

So low