Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Emotionally drained
I just feel really lost...like...I'm swimming in a fishbowl and a glass wall separates me from society. They can't hear my screams, they only see me swimming. It's like my options are to drown or to continue like this. I don't know x
Today... Huge pit in my stomach and I don't want to get out of bed.
Fat because I still haven't lost any inches on my waist, trapped in a craphole town and torn. I feel like I'm trying to go one way, but my family keeps pulling me to a way I *know* I won't be happy in, that keeps me in the town I hate.
I feel alone. Its been 8 years since i moved here and i haven't made a single friend. Im lost, scared of everything, scared to talk, scared of what people think of me, jow i look. I can't cope. Im so ashamed.
I want to go to university. Im so scared, people talk to me and I'm so nervous the words wont come out. Feel like im trapped in a deep dark hole. I feel like driving as fast as i can and crashing into a wall.
What helps me a lot is when I'm scared or nervous about doing something I always think of the worst case scenario and work from there. For me when I'm taking on a task at work and I'm worried about doing it. I'm just don't want to mess up whatever I'm doing. I just try and put the brakes on in my head and just trace out what I'm actually doing or going to do. And if I make a mistake I just think who cares. I'll learn from it. Or before I get to that point I'll just stop and ask for help. Some things besides work I'll put off or just break down into sections. Basically I try not to overwhelm myself. And honestly it doesn't work all the the time. It does work a lot though and that to me is a huge relief. I hope this helps a little bit.
I feel numb and i've been crying all day uncontrollably..
It's like you are spinning in darkness slowly and have no control.
Like a a thirsty person in a pool of water all my friends left my school and I'm surrounded by people yet I'm terrified to drink.
Uhh hi... My day was... Different. You know?? My friend almost killed himself last night and I don't know what happened. I get to school and everybody seemed... Unreal... It seemed like people actually saw me today. It didn't matter what group they were in... They saw me... But then I got dumped with the stress and homework and having to carry everyone's problems on me... My friends depend on me and they all want to be around me and some get mad when I can't get to them. It's hard to do that all the time. Then I haven't done any work this week.... And due dates and everything. Then we were talking about world problems... And how Isis burned people alive and the details given by my teacher.... I couldn't sit still... I remember how it used to be... Nothing like how today is.... Nothing...
I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have everyone counting on you. And also to be listening to the teacher talking about the people in so much intense pain. I hope your friend gets the help he deserves and needs. I hope you can get some irl support. Because you sure do deserve that
Well, I had a dream last night...one that makes me too scared to sleep again. It wasn't an ordinary dream...it was a flashback the manifested itself into a dream. It was at my moms funeral...and I was staring down at her corpse...continuous thoughts racing through my head like "this is the last time I will ever see her. She doesn't even look like herself." I broke down crying and then the dream quickly transitioned to someone bringing a puppy to me. He was white and brown. At first I thought was a husky, but it turned out to be a wolf pup. She said to me "this is your son" and the pup actually talked to me and called me mom. I remember his name too...Ender. He could turn back and forth between human and wolf...like a werewolf. Then today, I found out that the person trying to break into my house last night was my brother in law...I am scared that my fiance is not okay, on top of missing my mom, and the whole "wolf son" thing.
I got into a huge fight with my brother earlier today and I've been feeling slightly suicidal since, and even considered cutting again. I'm so horrible.
