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- Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Lovely @beensetfreeb, maybe start with talking? You don't have to talk about anything specific, just let words fly from your lips - say that you're tired, that you're alone and feel no one understands your pain. That you want to hide away, and want to sleep away your life, but cannot sleep.
Just connect with a listener - either click a button "Need support immediately?" or choose a specific listener. Or come to us to the support chatroom. We are here for you. We will listen, even if you don't want to say anything specific. We don't mind it.
*hugs*
Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the loneliness, I just want to sleep and stay asleep for a very long time.
@Feelyourthoughts, so sleep, darling. Indulge yourself and just rest.
It's scientific proven that sleep is one of the biggest factors on successful recovery from depression. I guess our brain is so tired from constant fighting, it needs dreams and soft pillows ease its bruises.
@Celaeno. LOVE this visual.
"I guess our brain is so tired from constant fighting, it needs dreams and soft pillows ease its bruises."
I can so relate and am always hoping for ease of my bruises. Hugs Dear One!!
I don't know how to pull myself from this situation. I feel like I cornered myself into such a terrible fate. I keep hoping that I can change my circumstances and surround myself with people who want to enjoy life without substance abuse but it's everywhere. Family, spouse, spouses family.. I feel so alone.
The people I love most think that I over react and think that I'm crazy. But being on the outside of addiction wondering why people are like this eventually gets to a person. I can't be strong anymore. After years I just can't do it.
I can see you feel in a despair, @TrixRiddle. Having no support from your closed ones is so painful. I'm so glad that you've reached out to us - it was very brave of you, and another sign of your strength, beside of years of fighting. I'm so proud of you!
You don't have to be alone in your battle, though. I believe you can benefit from visiting various support forums around here, especially about addiction. Knowing that they are other people, suffering with a similar hardships, can really make a difference. And also, you can find in there lots of useful resources.
I believe in you. And if you don't believe in me, believe in your words and your past actions. You fought for so long, you survived everything in your life. You can overcome your hardships.
Sending lots of hugs!
"I don't know how to pull myself from this situation". These words show me you understand that it is your responsibility to pull yourself out. You are miles ahead of the people that are stuck in self pity and blaming the world for their problems.
Being surrounded by that kind of negativity is extremely challenging but there is something to be gained from it if you change your perspective. Self reliance. I have been in a similar position as you where I was surrounded by lots of negativity and little to no support. I spent a lot of time stuck in hurt feelings and hopelessness. Then I decided that I would use these negative people as training. Train myself to be stronger, self reliant, someone who doesn't wait for approval and validation because I can give those things to myself. Now I won't say this is easy, in fact it's extremely hard and might take years however if you are successful, self reliance is a life skill that will be extremely beneficial to you. I hope you find the strength to go on this journey and help yourself out! The ocean has so much water but the only way the ship will sink is if the water gets in. Luckily you control whether the water gets in or not :)
I feel depressed today and just tired and living. I'm tired of dealing with everything and I feel like things will never get better. Everyday feels like a waste and I have no idea what to live for anymore.
I hear ya. Today is gloomy for me too. It will get better but it sucks waiting for that to happen and sometimes it's like the harder you try to change things the worse they get. Be patient.
I've been patient for the last five years and things are getting worse. I don't want to wait anymore. I'll be waiting forever.
Why can't you live for yourself. Sometimes when things become overwhelming and our lives feel like the lack all meaning, we need to look into ourselves, we need to do things just for ourselves because we matter. You matter. ... *hugs*
I feel like it's because I don't know who I am anymore or what I believe in. I've been so influenced by everyone around me, I'm not sure what my worth is. And I'm not sure how to even "find" myself again. Without running away from everything now.
It sounds like you need to turn the volume down on your life some. This is the best time to rediscover yourself. Try new things for the heck of it. Find out what makes you happy and then start living. You don't have to live for others or through others. Finding yourself is a great adventure and I promise you, you won't regret it. I've been there before. Sometimes we have to take a few steps back away from everything because we are meant to leap forward and past it to a better a future.
I'm aware of what needs to be done; unfortunately the execution is the difficult part. I care too much about everyone around me to just dump them. I'm afraid to start over; because I'm not sure I should
@MandyCandy0512, actions are always the hardest. I'm a chronic procrastinator, and I can understand how impossible do things look like, before we can overcome them. Do you have any ideas how to start, though?
No I don't. I'm honestly at a loss of where to even start.
@MandyCandy0512, it's okay. I always like to start small. Big things overwhelms me. But I believe you can certainly create some plan. If you'd like to. I can help you a bit.
Our future is made of tiny moments happening right now. So would you try focusing on the present and answering this question?
1. What are you doing right now, at this moment?
2. How are you feeling?
3. What are you thinking?
4. How are you breathing?
5. What is your posture?
1. Currently checking out this site and thinking about everything that needs to be done.
2. Sad and hopeless
3. Every chore that needs to be done and how I'm not going to be able to do them
4. Shallow
5. Slouchy
@MandyCandy0512, Ok, that's great. So you noticed you deep shallow - you don't have to force you to breath deeper, just be observant of it.
You have lots of things to do. It overwhelms you. It's alright, you can tackle them by just listing them on a piece of paper. You don't have to do anything else - just create the string of task. You can drink some tea or coffee, and listen to your favourite music (this is mine) to make it a bit more pleasant. If you start feeling anxious:
a) notice that you feel anxious, and say to yourself, e.g. "It hurts" or "This is anxiety";
b) next say to yourself "This is okay. This is hard, but I know it's not only difficult for me, but to lots of people, too";
c) next say to yourself "May I embrace this anxiety. I can feel this way, and be strong and the same time. I can cry and be brave simultaneously".
Afterwards please answer this questions: why do you think you wouldn't be able to do your chore? Is this thought a habit for you or is it based on facts? What is the evidence for it?
Dearest @MandyCandy0512, I can see you feel low. Can I just hug you?
*embrace gently and stroke your hair to bring you some comfort*
Here, this is my gift for you - it's not much, but it is the nicest place on the Internet I could find.
I understand all of the waiting made you feel fed up. It's okay, lovely. You can feel that way, we won't push you - all of your emotions are valid. I sense you already have so much going on in your life, and that your pain overwhelms you. You're so persistent to wait such a long time. You are strong, and you are doing everything you can to make it through. I'm proud of you.
Can I make this passing minutes a bit better for you? Would you like a distraction? Or maybe you would like to talk to the listener on 1-on-1 chat? Just let me know, I care about you.
We are here for you, we will listen, wonderful.
Love!
Just Found out some very bad news. I'm spiraling down again and I can't help it
Lovely @EdmondDantes, I encourage you to connect with a listener - simply venting can bring you some relief. There are a lot of amazing souls out there who will listen to you. Unfortunately I'm only a member, but if you prefer to talk here, in a forum, I'll listen too. We care about you, love.
*hugs*
i fear my deppresion is harming my relationship with my husband, he is trying so hard and i feel as if im just pushing him away, i love him but on saturday i said i am only here for you i would have given up a long time ago otherwise. and since telling him the truth just feel even more worse now and with what my mind is saying i want to follow and not be around no more.
You have to fight. ....fight hard to find the light..its there. I am asking you as a stranger your husband loves you let him help you find the light that he loves in you. I am sorry you are so sad you think this way....but its just for right now. (Not saying how you feel is wrong i am just saying this will pass and you can be strong).....please fight to find the light to your happiness.
Today i feeling like screaming at the top of my lungs. ......leave me alone....stop abusing me.....i dont want to hurt any more....I am extremely sad and my depression has a hold in me all i want to do is live life and be happy.
Lovely @Supervan1, I completely understand your wants. I also struggle with depression and I wish sometimes I'd never get ill with that hideous monstrosity. It makes wonderful people believe that they're worthless. But it's not true. It's just a sly persuasion from your brain.
I'm glad that you've reached out. You're not alone. We will always listen, we will hold your hand and walk through this dark times together. We have depression, but depression doesn't have us. We are more than a medical term, darling. We won't let it define us.
Remember to slow down, and take a good care of yourself. From my own experience I know that lowering your goals, and focusing only on getting enough sleep, drinking water, eating 3 meals and going outside in the sun, can already make a difference. Even if it's not a big one, it's worth the effort. And so are you, amazing warrior.
Sending you lots of hugs!
I have a big headache from crying and im feeling very suicidal. Don't know how long I can last..
TW: suicide
My lovely @ConfodentialLoser, it must be so hard for you. You must feel so exhausted from the constant fight.
My wonderful, let me hug you. Let me shield you from the pain. Let me bring you soft pillows and a warm blanket. Let me bake you cookies. Let me play your favourite music. Let me watch movies with you. Let me show you the stars on the bright sky. I can teach you how to find the constellations. Let me make you hot chocolate to warm you. Let me read a book out loud, so you can visit beautiful places. I care. I am here.
You're so brave and strong, darling, even if you don't believe it. You feel desperate to find a solutions. My lovely, my amazing let me point you to it:
please, click here.
You can do it. I know you want to ease your sufferings, I understand it. My bravest, I just ask you for 5 minutes to give yourself the opportunity to read it. You can do it. You are so strong, you survived all of the hardships. Give yourself 5 minutes, my love.
After reading, I encourage you to visit this website and make a simple call. Or if you don't like to call, chat in here. There are a lot of people who can help.
We are here for you. We will hold you tightly, when you feel like letting go. We won't let go.
Please, let me know how are you feeling now. I'd love to hear from you.
*hugs*
I have been doing so well. I started healthy things to help my mind, like eating better, drinking water, exercising regularly, and actually communicating with people. Despite this, I've had depression symptoms coming back. My sleeping is all screwed up again, and I've been spending a lot of time not doing anything. I'm afraid it's going to get really bad again, like it was a few months ago. I'm just really scared. I don't want to be sick again.
Recovery isn't a smooth road. You'll fall down sometimes, but the good thing is you'll get better at climbing back up each time it happens. It might get worse again, but that's okay. It will also get better again afterwards. You know now that it's possible to take steps in the right direction and you should try to remember that, no matter how rough things will get again. You're still fighting, even when you feel like you're failing. Trust your strength, because look how far you already came! Next time, you'll go even further!
Your path to get out of your depression will be a journey. And that journey will include visiting back to the dark place sometimes. Don't be afraid of it. You have already had success in getting to a stable place once. So now you are equipped with tools you didn't have before. So even if you go back you will be able to pull yourself out faster. Remind yourself how good your healthy habits felt. These habits are like a muscle. You repeatedly have to use a muscle to make it stronger. Going back gives you an opportunity to use those self reliance muscles again and this time they will get a little bit stronger than before. So don't recoil, look at it like a challenge and tell yourself I got this! "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."
I feel so emotionless. Today I lost my job for something I didn't do and today I will be getting an eviction notice for again something I didn't do. I think today I'll take that pregnancy test so it can be negative and the day can be complete
I'm so sorry for that hun, that sound hard. But when the storm stops it comes the rainbow <3
Maybe the destiny have something better for you, even better that you can imagine, so be srtong and we're all here for you!
Sleepy. All I seem to do lately is sleep. That's odd, coming from this insomniac. I cannot escape from under the guilt-quilt, it's too heavy. So I just sleep. About to take another nap now...
I totally understand you. I'm insomniac too and I'm awake all night but when it comes the sun, I'm sleepy and I just sleep all day, idk what's happening to my body.
Today I'm feeling quite dizzy. Going to the restroom causes me to have rapid heart rate when I get ack to my room. I don't have much of an appetite. Just really having a rough time right now.