Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Today I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. My sister is going through something at work, my sister-in-law is going through some stuff with her ex, both of whom have involved the police in their matters. My partner is talking to people online which is sending my anxiety through the roof, and all I want to do is sit and cry. What doesn't help is my partner is and I are having to move into separate accommodations. I'm moving back home because of physical problems I'm having, and he's getting a place on his own. So yeah, I feel like the whole world is against me. But thanks for asking and sharing your story too. Thank you for letting me vent x

Lovely @KatieAndrews, you can go in here and vent whenever you like ^^ We are here for you.

But gosh, I can see why do you feel so overwhelmed. There's a lot of going on in your life. It's good that you've reached out to us.

Sending you a little song as a gift. Music is a powerful tool for me to relax, and I thought maybe you need it today. I hope I'll see you around!

*hugs*

Feel dead and hurt at the same time, and now I'm having heart palpitations. Maybe I will die and my family can collect my life insurance and be rid of me. Win - win.

@dynamicBirch566, I think you're mistaken, if I may voice my concerns. I don't know situation in your house, so maybe it will be a win scenario for your family, but unfortunately you will lose in here. And it will be a big loss.

There's a flaw in your logic, you see. Because you want to be dead now, right? To stop the waves of this overwhelming pain. You don't deserve this suffering, I agree on that. But if you die, you won't enjoy the relief, because your body will cease to feel any sensations at all. You won't experience the peace. No calm, no quietness, nothing. So that's not the right action to take for you, if you want to feel better.

Let me propose you something else. Postpone for a while your plans, and just connect right now with a listener. I recommend you anyone from this list - they are verified and I'm sure they will listen to you fully, and do everything what's in their power to help you to find a better solution. They will help to ease your pain.

Let me know how are you feeling after the chat. I'd be still around here. I'd love to hear from you again, lovely.

Lots of hugs!

I really have no idea how i feel today ..like there isnt just one word to describe it

@AeroRoze3, sometimes I think my depression has only 3 settings: numbness, confusion or sadness .-.

I forgot to hug you! And I think it was such a regrettable mistake, I'm going to fix it right now ^^

*hugs*

@Celaeno , Now that i think about it i can totally agree. i feel all of those and more today.

And thank you for the hug,, *Bear Hug* right back to you. Haven't had one of those in some time so i do appreciate it

@AeroRoze3, thank you! To be honest, I needed that ^^ You're great!

@Celaeno , Oh you're very welcome! I'm happy to help. & You are pretty awesome yourself =) I am grateful for your replies, i didn't expect to get any

And that's exactly why I did reply, dear @AeroRoze3 ^^;

Thank you!

Well you are appreciated, my day needed some brightening :-)

Anytime @Celaeno !

TW: emotional and sexual trauma, self harm mention

I just got out of a bad relationship, one where I was being emotionally manipulated. I was coerced into having sex with him the first few times and he used my depression and self harm to get us in bed together.

It hurt me a lot, and so today when he broke up with me(cause he's leaving the country in a few days), I decided to come clean and tell him exactly how I felt.

He flipped out and basically he gaslighted me, saying his intention wasn't to hurt me and basically pinned it on my mental illness. He turned the tables on me, saying I hurt him and he just started cussing at me(all for telling him how I felt). He never even apologized once and didn't even try to empathize with how I felt.

This was all through text, cause we were both busy at the time. He got so mad and said I should have told him earlier in person. But it is kind of scary to think about, considering how mad he got in the texts. What would he have done in real life?

So good riddance, he turned out to be disappointing. I'm free now, to do what I want. And it feels good. I can breathe again.

@bravestwarrior, I'm so proud of you! No matter how difficult it was for you, I think it was worth all of your efforts. If thanks to removing this toxic relationship from your life, you can breathe deeply again, I say: to hell with him! You deserve so much better and compromising your health is definitely not worth it, lovely.

Wow, you're simply amazing ^^

*hugs*

Aw thank you <3 it was hard but I made it, I'm still alive and it feels great. I do deserve better, and its about time I told him how I felt.

Now to keep on swimming and living my life. I can do this. I can do this!

Stay safe and happy, friend <3 <3.

@bravestwarrior, what an appropriate username! What you did indeed was brave. And it was the right thing to do, too. No one should have to deal with such a toxic relationship. Well done <3

Thank you so much! I feel free now, and I'm glad I kept myself levelheaded through it all.

He wasn't worth my time, so I'm glad he's out of my life now.

I feel like I've been brave for once in my life by sticking up for myself, and I want to continue to do so. <3

I feel like nothing. Like I have no feelings. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just nothing. It's the worst feeling because I don't know what to do.

It's okay, @DeadQueen103, my lovely. It's okay to feel numb, and to be confused. You can be overwhelmed, but remember that all of your emotions are valid.

I also recognize this feeling. It's nauseating and overwhelming, and seems to have no end. It push you to the loop, or a cage. It makes you an outcast of this universe, unable to connect, to feel anything. You know that you should feel something, but it's impossible for you to do so.

I'm here for you, darling. It's hard, when this darkness hits us. Sometimes we just need to grit our teeth and keep push through this storm, to try to walk through this maelstrom, and just wait for a better weather. Focus on one day, one hour, one second only, and keep holding onto it, even if it's seems pointless.

You can do it, wonderful. You're strong, you fought for so long, and I believe in you.

*hugs*

Thank you so much. It's such a relief to know that somebody understands the way I'm feeling

@DeadQueen103, lovely, remember that we are here for you. You can always come in here, to forums to post, or you can connect with a listener - either click a button "Need support immediately?" or choose a specific listener. Or come to us to the support chatroom.

We are her for you. We've got your back, wonderful.

So um my name is sophie. Im 15 and... Im sorry im not good at. This 😳😳

Hi, @ladywildfirel! It's so lovely to meet you ^^

I'm Celaeno. Welcome to our community! I'm so glad that you've joined us.There's a lot of ways for you to connect with others. You can try 1-on-1 chat with a listener, or you can post in a group support room, or in forums. You can follow members and listeners to receive a good dose of inspiration and motivation every day. You can read self-help guides, too.

You can also introduce yourself to others in this thread - it's a popular first stop for new members ^^

Once again, welcome! Take a good care, lovely! I hope to see you around!

Its been nearly a week since i last... Hurt my,self.... But i feel down and drained, but i have to try and act happy and cheerful around my family and,it makes it so hard... Could do with a hug...

I'm sorry I can only give you a virtual one and I really hope you feel better! *Hugs*

@remnantshadow, your hug for @ladywildfirel is so adorable! I adore it ^^

Thank you :)

https://media0.giphy.com/media/1MWuVxhD61xlK/giphy.gif

Uh oh I messed up ._.

@Feelyourthoughts, don't mind it ^^ It's the intent which counts, lovely.

*hugs*

@Celaeno aw you literal angel

@Feelyourthoughts, you're so kind. Thank you!

My pleasure :)

Hugs:")

@bananna424, come in here ^^

*hugs back*

What do u mean.. come in here

@bananna424, I mean: let me hug you, even if it's only a virtual embrace.

Sorry if I confused you - English isn't my first language ^^;

*Hughs u tightly* Ily hun. We're with you, you can do this <3

I'm so done with this whole existing thing

TW: suicide

Dear @ScreamingForSanity, I'm sorry you feel in such a despair. I am here for you.

I can understand how hard it is to reach out in times of despair. But you have already done it. It is hard, but you still managed to do it and it was courageous of you. I'm so proud! You can overcome anything, trust me. Or trust yourself, trust your voice and your past. You are fighting for so long, you are stronger than you believe. But you don't have to show inhuman persistence anymore. You can ask for help, you can receive it, and you can recover. You really don't have to suffer in silence, my love.

You want to cease to exists. I assume, it's because your pain seems unbearable, and you just don't have a strength to carry one. You just want to find a solution, to break out from this prison in your mind. Still, you're thoughts are the important indicator for something else. Even if you didn't follow on them, even if you were just contemplating death, even if you feel stronger now and think you will never go through with your just-for-fun-created plans, it's a big red flag that something is really wrong. These thoughts are signalizing that you are looking for a way to outlet your pain. No living creature wants to die, we instinctively do everything to help us cope with a given situation. But depression is sneaky and mostly uses our own brain against us.

I really urge you to visit a doctor. I think it will make a big difference to your well-being. Just go like when you're going to the dentist with a toothache - it's the same thing, just foolishly stigmatized by our society. You really don't have to suffer in silence. Asking for help is difficult, but it is worth it. Oh, how it is worth! From my own experience, I can say that it was a turning point for me. I'm still struggling, but I'm not in agony, like before. I know how to fight, and what is the name of my foe. It's a wretched life, to live with an untreated depression, and you don't deserve it, my lovely friend. Getting any kind of treatment is a difference you will feel immediately.

Please go visit your doctor. Or go to this website and make a simple call. Or if you don't like to call, chat in here. There are a lot of people who can help. Here, in this community, we can listen to you, but sometimes it's not enough.

You are so wonderful, my love. I care for you.

*hugs tightly*

Sending my strength and hope to you!