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bravestwarrior
1 735 M Little Steps
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts84 Forum upvotes91 Current upvotes91 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2016 Member sinceApril 19, 2015
Recent forum posts
Feel like I have nobody to turn to
Depression Support / by bravestwarrior
Last post
 April 22nd, 2015
...See more Saw the guy I used to care a lot about with his girlfriend. I don't know, I guess the feelings of worthlessness came back at full force. I thought he cared about me, I thought somebody finally cared about me. I was so wrong. I feel alone, and I don't know what to do anymore. I want to go to my friends, but I don't want to burden them. I just need someone to talk to, who'll listen to me. I wish I had someone who'd be there for me when I needed them most, who'd understand what I was going through. It feels like I'll never meet somebody like that, and it terrifies me that I'll always be isolated.  And then most of the people I do tell about my issues never really understand. They just assume it's like flipping a switch, that I can just choose to stop being depressed. But no matter how much I wish that was true, its just not. Because of that, I feel like I can't turn to them for help, because what if they don't understand? Or if they don't care? What if they start to hate me after getting to know the real me? I'm so scared and I don't know what to do anymore.
Moving On
Journals & Diaries / by bravestwarrior
Last post
 April 24th, 2015
...See more (So here's some of my thoughts on the person I had a crush on who turned out to be dating someone else. When I heard that, I felt like I lost a part of myself. So to move on, I've sort of made a 'goodbye' letter for him... Or at least, trying to part ways with my feelings towards him.) -- Thank you for inspiring me to become a better person. You made me realize that I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.  You made me feel like my anxiety and depression wouldn't consume me, and that I could get better one day. You made me feel so brave, to the point where I was taking risks I never took before.  I wanna say thanks for all the times you made me feel acknowledged. For once in my life, I felt like somebody understood me, like somebody could actually care about me. You made me feel like I wasn't alone. I actually wanted to open up to people for once and let them into my life. I wanted to make you proud. I'm sorry that it took me so long to decide to tell you how I felt. I finally managed to feel brave enough to tell you, only for it to be revealed that you already had a girlfriend. After I found out you were dating someone else, I guess I was crushed? I guess I just thought I'd found someone who could love me. I'm so sorry. My regrets are not being braver, not being strong or confident enough to have said something sooner, as well as not getting to know you sooner. The one thing I don't regret(no matter how much I tell myself otherwise) was meeting you. So again, thank you. I don't know if I loved you, but I know I did love you for making me feel better, even if it was only for a little while. I don't think anybody's ever made me feel that way. It did hurt (and it still does) when I found out you were dating someone else and going to Europe for college. But I know it's not your fault. If anything, I just want you to be happy. If that means dating someone else, or moving to another continent, then so be it. Thanks for inspiring me to grow as a person. I hope we can keep being friends in the future.  
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