Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@abbbyp, welcome! I'm Celaeno, and I'm glad that you've reached to us.

It takes time to come to terms with diagnosis. I think it's great that you are reaching out to this community for the support. It's brave and shows you have a strong character. Well done!

I also have a depression, and I also struggle with it on the daily basis. It's hard, but it's a bit easier when you have a loving people, supporting you all the way through. And this community is a great source of kindness and encourage for me. Thanks to the following option, I read everyday supportive messages on my feed. Thanks to the forums, I can be heard. Thanks to the discussion in chat rooms, I know I am not alone, and that there is a lot of people feeling the same numbness, and hopelessness, and sadness, and anger, and dread, and anxiety, and so on.

People are afraid of depression, because they don't know about it. So I encourage you to learn about it. Read lots of articles, watch movies, ask your doctor questions, hear about other's experiences with it. Educate yourself, so you'll know what are the weaknesses of your enemy. It will really help you with your battles. If you want to know my thoughts on how it is to be depressed, I encourage you to visit this thread. Some people said I managed to capture the essence of it. Read it, so you can learn if it resonates with you.

It's okay. Having depression is okay. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. You don't have to be limited by it. You have depression, but depression doesn't have you. You are more than your struggles. You are worth the treatment, and you are worth a life free from it. You are beautiful and lovely. You deserve the best of universes.

If you ever want to talk about your struggle, you can try 1-on-1 chat with a listener, or you can post in a group support room, or in forums. You can also introduce yourself to others in this thread - it's a popular first stop for new members ^^ And please, visit this thread from time to time, to let us know, how are you feeling. We are here for you. I care.

*hugs*

Once again, warm welcome to this community. Let me know, if I can help you any further. Maybe you would like some specific resources to help you get through?

Take a good care of yourself, because you're worth it. And I hope to see you around!

Sad.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, @kd0695. But that's okay. You can feel everything you want to, all of the emotions are valid. Can I just hug you?

*hugs you gently and shields you from all the pain of this world*

You are wonderful. I'm glad that you've reached out to us. Please take a good care of yourself.

Love!

Hi! I feel very sad and depressed but i have a solution so im gonna share it whit you! If you felt like me: sad,angry,tired,really lazyyyyy. Then you need to extracise (dont know how to write that :O ) basicly do running, a few crunches maybe pushups etc. Its awsome for your body and even better for your mental health. Try it! And keep staying great people!!!

Nice tip, @neonCoconut8131, thank you for sharing it ^^ Unfortunately I am not always able to put energy to exercise, when making just through the day is a difficult struggle for me. But on the better day moving your body is a great way to lift up your mood. I personally recommend dancing in your room and singing ^^

I feel very upset about how my family thinks of me.

They just told me that im passive about my studies when i actually get sick a lot while studying in the university kilometers away from them.

Now, i have developed a skeletal problem due to fatigue and they still think i don't do shit back in university.

I know our family's situation is really tough, my brother is the one who finances me, he's only in his twenties. And his twenties is not how he imagined it to be, he should be out there somewhere enjoying or travelling but he can't because he has to work for all of us.

I do what i can back in university. But it seems that my best is never enough to get those high grades that i want or to pass requirements on time. I really can't push any further or else my body and mind will give up on me

I'm supposed to graduate this year, but due to some shit in the uni, i dont think i can. That fact is enough to bring me down, all i ask from my family is their undying support because i am not as able as my brother, my limits are not as high as his.

Everytime i want to open up, they get angry and they tell me to "Grow up! We provide everything that we can, chances have been given to you! Grow up!" Or my brother will tell me "do you think i like this set up? Im spending my twenties working my ass off to help you!" And so i'd get hurt because they dont listen to me. And when i get hurt i get angry too so i raise my voice and the whole conversation will end with me shutting up because im already crying while they're still going on with their life speech..and mind you, they will go on for about another hour.

So i just put on my noise-cancelling earbuds and blast the music. Or yeah just put them on even when there is no music playing. Silence. Just silence.

That must be really hard. But if you belive in yourself and just do it. Dont study learn thats the only way you can succeed. Dont let the harsh people get to you. Your a great person and dont let enyone tell you different.

Alone and sad and hurt in the same time

My dear, lovely @magavalhuzottamelybe, I'm so sad you are in so much pain. Can I hug you to make you a bit less alone?

*hugs tightly and gently*

I'm glad that you've reached out to us. It was hard, but you did it nevertheless. I'm so proud of you. Remember that you can always talk to us, my love. We care for you.

Sending you all my love!

alone and tired. everything hurts.

@nishikinos, I'm sorry you feel so low. You don't deserve this pain. Can I send you some cute photos of baby elephants?

These lovelies are so glad to be there for you when you needed it, and so do I. I hope you will feel better soon.

Take a good care of yourself, wonderful, because you're worth it. Love!

I don't want to be scared anymore. I'm tired of it. My memories are like demons, they never let me rest. I tired of being terrified.

I'm sad to heart that, @exuberantkaty.

I'm sorry there's no rest for you, it must be so exhausting and overwhelming. You are invincible to keep pushing through hardships, day after day. You are doing such a great job, despite the depth of despair that lurks near you. I'm so happy that you reached out.

Let me bring you soft pillows and a blanket. Let me give you a bright night sky to admire stars. Let me sing you a lullaby, so your anxiety would get sleepy and yawn cutely, like a puppy. It will just lay down quietly beside you, looking so innocent and vulnerable. It won't bother you, it will dream about life without fears and heartaches.

Anxiety can be really terrified by this universe, it will scream and kick and bite, feeling trapped. But you are stronger and wiser than you fluffy, panicky friend. You know that you can overcome anything, because you did overcome everything so far. You know how to breathe to feel connected to your world, how to self-care and reward every little daily achievements. You are strong, and even if you feel terrified, you are still reaching out, still fighting, still trying. I'm so proud of you, darling. You are doing a great job.

Did you try this little website? Or this one? Or this one? They will help you get calmer. Even if it's only for a little while, they could bring a relief, and now it's a gold treasure for your mind.

Sending you good, pleasant thoughts, my wonderful friend!

Thank you @Celaeno. I liked the stars, it made me feel calm. Ty.

@exuberantkatye, I also like stars ^^

Did you seen this great website? It's an experiment to capture the size of our galaxy. And you can travel through stars in here!

Take a good care, wonderful!

Like I have no motivation to do anything.

@Sarebobo9, it's okay. I don't have any motivation either. It's beyond my capacity to feel this way, I'm in too much despair. But you don't have to be motivated to keep going. It's enough to just survive. Don't have a "good, productive day" which may be beyond your reach for a little while, just focus on having a day. Just make it through the hours, until the night, and that's it. That's enough. Then you make it through the night, and that's also enough. Basic survival is already worth the praise. If you can take your showers, eat a little bit, remember to drink water and even spend few hours not in bed, it's a magnificent achievement!

You have depression, so it's natural you don't have motivation. This is its symptom. Just like you would broke your leg and wouldn't try to run, you can't expect from yourself to feel productive.But it doesn't meant that you stop trying to gain back your personality and create routine. It's just a different kind of battle.

Sending you lots of hugs, lovely!

Lonely, upset, heartbroken.

I had a breakdown in front of my parents today, despite spending all summer fighting to keep myself in line and in control. I hate the atmosphere at home, which is beyond my control, but it's sending me into a downward spiral of negative thoughts and I hate it. I feel like I can barely function and my parents today did absolutely nothing to help me.

They made it worse. I tried telling them how I feel but they threw it back in my face and told me to snap out of it and then going on a rant about how I think they're bd parents when they do everything for me. Physical care is fair enough,, they feed me, take me places etc. But mentally, they don't understand a thing and I'm beginning to fall to absolute pieces.

I'm sorry you feel lonely, @lavenderFarm4174. It must be really difficult for you, not getting support you are worth. I would love to hug you, lovely, because you really fight so hard, and I want you to know that I am proud of you. You're feeling so dreadful, but you keep up with all of your battles. You are a real warrior, even if the 'lone wolf' kind of type. You are doing great, despite all of hardships life creates. You are wonderful. I'm so glad that you've reached out.

However, I hope you receive some kind of treatment and support from others. Any connection and relationship, no matter in what form, is valid, and can make a difference in your well-being. Depression is an illness which makes you believe you are alone in your struggles. But if you see closely, we are never truly alone - for example, there's an entire community on 7 Cups for people who are suffering from the same pain! We are here for you, and we will listen. We care for you. I care.

Sending you all of my strength, so you can keep fighting. You are magnificent.

Love!

You are so wonderful @Celaeno ,, thank you so much for being you and helping make me and everyone in this thread positive! :)

Thank you, @lavenderFarm4174, you're so sweet! I'm just trying to feel everybody being heard and less lonely. I'd love if you could help me, wonderful ^^

I wish I didn't exist. I don't want to dress up and go to a con but my sister worked so hard on my cosplay I feel like I really have to. I wish I could turn off my brain.

Dear @TheSirenCalledLorelei, remember that the depression deceives us that we never feel happiness again and makes us be withdrawn. I hope you will find the strength and will to go to your con - it sounds like a lot of fun. Even if you won't enjoy it just like you would normally, I think it would be a great opportunity for your mind to shift focus. But regardless of your choice, it is nice to hear that you have a sister who cares for you, and who puts an effort to make you a costume. You are lovely and you deserve lovely people in your life.

*hugs*

Lots of love!

Abandoned, alone. Like no matter how loud I cry out, nobody cares to help me. I wish I was mute, that way at least people would have an excuse to not listen.

Lovely @creativeMelon1653, I'm so sad to hear that. Feeling such a despair and bitterness must make very difficult for you to keep going. And still, you are here, reaching out to be heard. You are so strong. Every day you're fighting and you're doing such a great job! I'm proud of you.

Darling, let me hug you and say I care. I am writing these words, because I don't want you to feel lonely and my heart is breaking thinking you may feel so hopeless, in a false belief you don't have any support. I'm also struggling and it's so hard, but we don't have to do it alone. I will hold your hand and walk with you through this darkness. You are amazing and worth all of the best universes. I will be here for you. I will listen to your worries. I will ease this pain. I care.

*hugs tightly*

A big hug to you dear! I just joined today and I don't know what to say to you but I can feel you! Stay strong because me along with alot of people care. Try to busy yourself with what you love sweets

Tired, hopeless, bitter, hurt.

Life feels futile today. Nothing makes sense. Everything hurts. Nothing is okay.

@Whataletdown, yes, days like this are awful. And they like to visit in a company of hoards of all negative emotions. Like it isn't enough you feel dreadful, you feel dreadful in an ever-lasting loop of self-doubt, numbness, anger and bitterness. And it's exhausting. And it is so painful to feel so hopeless, and depression strives when you believe that is your reality. That you're locked in a prison of your mind, which doesn't even have a keyhole for any key you would try to find.

This is a deception. The fight you keep insisting on, is worth all of the efforts, even if it doesn't feel like it. This feelings are valid, but they don't have any foundation in the reality - they are sly persuasions from your enemy to make you break down. You are strong and you matter.

My lovely, this day will end for you, sooner or later. I'm glad you've reached out. We can wait together for the passing of the time, side by side.

Lots of love!

Utterly exhausted

@EdmondDantes, so sorry to hear that. To help you a bit, I'm sending you a basket of good dreams, this wam blanket and some of the softest pillows I could find. I hope you will get the rest you deserve, and that tomorrow will be kinder for you.

*hugs*

Wish I could just choose not to be. No matter how long I am around, no one will ever care... there will be no one who can understand this, who I can turn to. My life is empty and devoid of meaning. Every day is another lesson in futile loneliness and boredom. It's all needless suffering. That's all my worthless life is, needless suffering. Alone.

You can choose not to be. It is scientifically proven that 40% of our happiness is choice and I think the other part is environment and genetics. The only thing is the "choosing" is not at all easy in your state. If it was that easy everyone could choose to be happy and everyone would. To get to a state where you can choose happiness takes a lot of practice. Why not start with just changing one or two thoughts today? A tip is when dark thoughts pop up, immediately turn your thoughts to something you are grateful for. Focus fully on what you are grateful for and relish it. Something as simple as you can access clean water anytime (I'm assuming). There are people who walk miles to get a bucket of clean water everyday. This is not to make you feel guilty or think others have it worse or anything like that. Your problem is a big problem in itself you don't need added guilt. But gratitude will shift focus and give your brain a refreshing break from dark thoughts that make you miserable.

Do you think a dysfunctional person like me could ever choose to be happy? In a society that rejects me? I think I might have been happier walking miles to find water... less to think about.

Society is dysfunctional so don't take it too hard if it rejects you. Society has a way to shame everyone constantly changing it's opinion on too skinny, too fat, too dumb, too ugly, not the right color, not the right gender identity, not the right sexual preference blah blah blah. Beyoncé even wrote a song about how society is messed up haha. But society also has incredible people and there are many many people in this world who would accept you just as you are if you gave them the chance. I mean just look at the person below me who responded. Look at what lengths they went to, to reach out to you. So give people a chance. Give yourself a chance. Can you choose to be happy? My answer won't change. Yes. You. Can.

Yes, it is :p Even if I was magically cured, I don't think I would be able to be happy. I never encountered these incredible people outside the Internet... on it, maybe they exist, but if they do I only see them at a distance. They wouldn't have anything to do with me. No one does, not for long.

How can a person be a part of an online community for seven years and no one seems to notice or care about that person, for instance?

Well I can tell you I have met many incredible people in real life. Do you treat people with kindness in real life? If you are mean to others or carry around a negative attitude then people will stay away from you. Even if your negativity/meanness is a facade so you could protect yourself ppl usually don't see through that. I will give you an example. When I would work on group projects in college some people would be really arrogant and had off putting behavior right off the bat. I would be annoyed and want to get away from them but would treat them nicely bc that's the kind of person I want to be. After a couple interactions I would find out they were just big softies afraid to show their true self lol. But some ppl are truly terrible though haha. Anyway give the whole kindness thing a try and see how it works :)

I'm never mean to people in real life... more afraid of them than anything.

Aww. Haha hang in there my friend I have a feeling you will do just fine. You might not be ready to trust the world yet but start with this community and then move your way up when you are ready.

Others' experiences are theirs only. No denying in that one, @poisontongue. I will never be able to really know the depth of despair you're feeling day after day after day day, without a rest. I wish it wouldn't be true, but not from wishes is this universe build. The harsh reality is that whatever vicious pain you're experiencing, I'm not able to comprehend it.

But it doesn't mean I can't listen to you.

I think you're brave, because you've reached out to us. And I think you're strong, because you fought for so long, and if persistence isn't the greatest sign of character, I really don't know what is. You're a warrior which tries to make every day their own, even if you feel it's pointless.

Your pain doesn't define if you have worth. You just have it simply by breathing this world's air. We don't have to prove that we deserve the stardust' particles which form our bodies. You have a point, because you have your mind, and that's it. No loophole in here.

Your pain doesn't define if I care. I want to listen to you, and to hug you, and to ease your pain, even if I am oceans and lands away from you, because I'm also struggling. I'm struggling with my own monster and you won't comprehend its size neither. But it's okay. To be honest we are not here to understand, but to support each other. To hold on when one of us is drowning. To use our arms when one of us want to lean and rest for a bit. To walk beside and to listen without judgement.

Your pain doesn't define you. You are more than your suffering. You are a cosmos of ideas and emotions and endless possibilities. You don't have to act on that essence - you just are. You're wonderful, because you are. You're enough, because you are.

Surviving is enough. Don't push and hate yourself for not having a "good, normal" day, to not feel so broadly and painfully, "to run with a broken leg". You have a depression, and this is an illness which makes lots of things impossible for a certain span of time. Just try to survive. Focus on making through the hours, and minutes, and seconds, until the night falls. Then focus on making through the hours, and minutes, and seconds, until the sunrise. Survive and know you are doing well.

It's so difficult to fight. It's so easy to stop. But you're worth this fight. You deserve a life without this pain and despair. Even if you're brain tells you otherwise.

Please take a good care of yourself, darling. I will be around here if you need anything. I care about you and your pain cannot take it from you.

*hugs*

Thanks... you are so well-spoken. I'm so afraid... so alone...