my online boyfriend...
Tw: Relationship Abuse
Ill start this by saying ive been really lonely over the years being home schooled and all. I hardly ever leave the house so i turned to an online chatroom to meet new people. I met a 34 year old there and i looked past his age because i felt like he understood me. I was 16 and turned 17 a week later. Its been 3 months. He's been getting more toxic even to where he love bombs me whenever he sense me about to break up with him. I tried again today and he told me how much he loved me.
When I say he's getting more toxic, he says he's nicer to me than other but but sometimes his mask breaks and it shows me just how mean he is.
I told him to be nice to my friend(she's slow btw), not to call me *** bc he kept telling me i was when we first met. Im not even ***. He thinks he's super IQ so everyone looks dumb to him. Then he said i was controlling and i told him i shouldnt have even had to point these errors out to him if he had any sense but he just brushes it off and changed the subject.
i dont know what to do at this point. He's really stressing me out
@DaniAleah156
Oh, man, I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. Do you have any trusted adults you can tell about this? This relationship is not okay, he is using you, and should go to prison.
@HopieRemi theres no one i can tell so i decided to vent here
@DaniAleah156
I am sorry to hear that you have no trusted adult. We are definitely here for you on 7cups. What would happen if you just blocked him without warning?
@HopieRemi Im too attached to him to just block him. I'd come back
@DaniAleah156
Slowly start distancing so you can block him. He's not good for you.
@DaniAleah156
I really think you should block this person and quit responding.....
the age difference is an issue and usually an older person who would go after a young person is because they are immature and wants to be around a person they feel either intellectually / mature superior.
Anyone who is going from being mean to love bombing is a bad sign as well.... NEVER let this person know where you are in real life. I know you were trusting and when lonely we may not screen people like we should....
I read you say there is no one what about a parent or guardian? Speak up .......before it gets worse there should be no shame many people are trusting and speak to others online that turn out to be less then good people. It is better some know then wish they did if this person became dangerous.....
@toughTiger6481
I agree with Tiger. Don't share any personal details with this person. Don't meet up with him. Block and possibly delete the social you have him on or make it very private to protect yourself. A man of his age does not get with a child because he loves you but because he wants to control you.
@HopieRemi i tried to break up with him but he turned it back on me so i'll be distant from now on
@DaniAleah156
No one can stop you from breaking up with someone. Distancing is a good idea. Can you block him from contacting you?
@DaniAleah156
You are dating a pedophile. Why would you continue to entertain someone who treats you in such a way? Block the loser.
@DaniAleah156
Love is hard, especially when you are in a relationship with someone toxic. In my opinion Write him a paragraph of his errors and what he has done to mess up the relationship then block him, Report him because he seems to be looking for young girls to love bomb, and act like the age gap is fine, Some believe age is just a number but when a 34-year-old is dating someone under legal age that may be a problem. At this point, he is using you because he thinks you are young and naive. You are beautiful and deserve so much better my love.
@Maeeeeebae999 I dont know if he's using me at this point but i did point out his error and he said i hurt his feelings because he "cares" about me. He literally made it look like everything was my fault
@DaniAleah156
I may be 15 but I know when someone is using a young girl (Being used myself) He is most definitely using you lovely and you should not have to put up with that!
~Love,Mae
@Maeeeeebae999 I think i was just being dramatic when i posted this idk
@DaniAleah156.. Hey girl! i just wanted to tell you that these little things may look "little" and u urself may call urself dramatic for pointing them out... but i want you to realize that these are the red flags that many of us fail to recognize. i want you to think with a cool mind, if he he is making you uncomfortable or is making you stress out.. if yes then i woud suggest you simply leave him... Girl you have to value your mental peace before any thing else..
-from a broken snowflake
@DaniAleah156
First of all, stay strong.
I don't know how deep they are, or where they came from, but I can definitely say that this guy has issues, and if he already knew your age and still started a relationship like that, it's not a good sign.
What he's doing is called gaslighting, and if you don't know what that is, you should look it up. It doesn't lead anywhere good. You can have these feelings of connection with someone else. Someone deserving. Don't let what you're feeling get confused with what you actually need. Whatever that relationship is, it's not going anywhere desirable. These things always seem to get worse. I know it's hard to get out. One step at a time. One day at a time. You've got support here.
@Torean Thank you for the advice. When i tried to leave him i told him he he hurting me and then he said he'd been in the hospital days before because of his heart and now i was hurting his feelings. i felt bad for him so were still together...
@DaniAleah156
Dani... that is called manipulation.
@DaniAleah156
You're obviously good natured and deserve the best. Don't waste your potential on this guy though, because he ain't it. And don't kid yourself, you're totally brimming with potential. This guy won't uplift you to reach any of it, and if you open yourself to it, you might find someone who does. Going from an abusive relationship to a functional one is like passing through a magic portal to a place you'd rather be.
As for his heart? I'm uh.. I'm pretty sure he'll be ok. It's not up to you to hold Mr. Anonymous together. He's sound ill in ways other than the heart. I don't think he's gonna recover anytime soon and he's looking to take you down with him. Don't let that happen... Girls getting taken in by talk like this from an older predator is a story pretty much as old as time. You don't deserve a lifetime of disappointment because he made it too hard to convince yourself to do what's right for you.
@Torean
I very very much agree!! Gaslighting is very unhealthy rather it is with a friend, family member, or Significant other. Also My friend he is considered a pedophile. Being in a relationship with a minor in my personal opinion being friends with an adult is okay just be careful you know. But a relationship with a grown man who is gaslighting you, He is using you because he thinks you are young and naive. You should probably try to end the relationship as soon as possible because, as this kind of gentleman said, gaslighting will not lead anywhere desirable.
~Love, Mae
@Torean
I agree with this! I know we can't tell you what to do but you have heard from several of us about how the situation you are in is not normal and not healthy, and you are not safe in a relationship with this adult predator. Please I hope that you manage to distance yourself and tell a trusted adult. What he is doing is not only morally wrong but it is illegal.
@HopieRemi were not officially dating bc he hasnt said. he just treats me like i gf so he doesnt get called a pedophile. its like a loophole or something
@DaniAleah156
I had read the whole story uploaded, though I am a member, I would suggest blocking him. He is seeming as using you and he doesn't seem right! leave him ASAP. Don't let him love bomb you out of leaving him. He doesn't really care just a toxic boy worried about losing a girl he "cares" for.
