Weekly Prompt #34: What is one difficult life situation you are facing right now?

@ASilentObserver 

Sorry you miss understood what I was saying.  I still see Dad every single Day after he and Luna get home from Toto from Dad's late friends house.  But the only time I get to interact with him is at supper and when there's 2 other people at the table beside myself at the table?  It just I'm just missing the one  on one time I had up until 6 weeks- ago grocery shopping time since normally Dad and Luna (or last week just  Dad)  did the groceries on the way into Toto,  to (late friend's place and not delivering the food to the house until 5-6pm.    

I just miss the one-on-one time,  I had gotten up until 5 weeks ago  I had been getting for almost three years straight until the week the friend died.   I mean Dad and I will do the grocery shopping eventually again but at this point I don't know,  and I'm tired of sleeping in when up until 5 weeks ago I been getting up at 7:15 since Nov 2021 to do the grocery shopping-so its werid to being able to sleep in most Thursdays after 3 years of getting up at 7:15 most Thursdays.

@ASilentObserver

A difficult situation that I am facing right now is just my healing journey overall. I feel like I've made great strides within some of the traumas I've faced last year, but one trauma in particular is still somewhat weighting heavily on me. I believe it will only get more challenging before it gets easier. But still, I'm happy with how it's progressed thus far and I'm happy and confident that I will continue healing each and every day. I know that the way things are going is how they are truly meant to happen and I know it's happening for me and not to me. I know in a way I am still going through a transformative phase and I and so eager to see how I'm going to be once the metamorphosis is finished. 

@janewayalpha1 Thank you for sharing and opening up with us Jane. It sounds like you have been working hard on your healing journey and making great strides. Itis wonderful. Please know healing is a process and it is okay for it to take time. What aspects of your healing journey have been most challenging for you?

@ASilentObserver Thank you for your kind words. I suppose the hardest part of my healing journey has been surrendering. I seem to have an issue with control and I really hate not being in control of things. It always makes me feel uncomfortable and restless when I am not. But I do know I'm not a control freak, so that makes me feel a lot better. I just like knowing that I can dictate what occurs in my everyday life. But I am slowly learning that the only control I do actually have is the control of how I react to whatever occurs to me. 

I also feel that patience and acceptance and also forgiveness have been big things that I needed to learn. 

@janewayalpha1  you hve faced some tough challenges during your healing journey, especially with letting go of control and trusting the process. How did you come to realize that you could only control how you reacted to situations?

@ASilentObserver That's a very good question! It took a long time for me to realize it. I guess what helped was all of the purging and meditation I've been doing where I've been going inside myself to try to surrender to a higher power (the Universe) for me and to allow myself to receive certain answers and insights on what it is that I'm seeking. In a way, it's like me doing this is giving up control and allowing what comes to come or what happens to happen and it's like it's paving a way for me to gain what it is that I'm desiring. It's like I'm not trying to force it to happen, but to let it happen naturally or occur in the way it's meant to. I really hope this is making sense to you. I feel like when I try to explain it to others, I can't verbalize it correctly in a way that others can understand. I guess maybe my spiritual/healing journey is really too specific, maybe. Haha.

I can say that I recently received some insights onto a situation by allowing the answers to come to me and surrendering the need for control. But now, I almost feel a sense of feeling lost and not knowing how to move forward with he knowledge I've gained. The best way to think about this is that song by Stacie Orrico, "(There's Gotta Be) More To Life". Perhaps what I really needed to know is that life is too short to be dwelling or feeling stuck in a situation that's not serving me anymore. I should utilize my time more efficiently for things that truly matter with the time I have. 

@ASilentObserver

I have no job. I have been out of work for going on 8 months and I have lost the desire to want to go back to work. I feel like I cannot find a job that fits my needs. I lack sufficient skills for most jobs on Indeed, but my schedule is not enough for retail or food service (I refuse to work night/graveyard shift while most stores want people with open availability). My degree is useless and I feel like temp agencies cannot help me. I feel stuck like I chose the wrong career path. I think I have also vented about this on this site a few times before.

@PopPunkPrincess17 I hear that you are feeling frustrated with your current job search. Eight months is a long time to be searching, and you are starting to lose motivation. You've mentioned before that your degree doesn't seem to be helping you get into the right career, and it must be difficult to keep trying without feeling like you're making progress. Have you considered reaching out to any career counseling services?

@ASilentObserver 

A difficult situation that I am dealing with is how to support my daughter. Because of family issues, she left home after high school to attend college and we are almost polite strangers. She called me to ask my opinion of which school she should attend for her masters. I was thrilled that she reached out to me for my opinion. There were 2 choices- Boston and UCSD. Boston was her dream school, in the top 10 for her major- and she was accepted. The downside- tuition base is $150,000., not including airfare to move across the country, housing, living expenses, mental and emotional adjustments, etc. On the other hand, UCSD is a good school, and 1/3 the price, but their program is only a few years old. Boston would give her more connections in the industry which will help when she is looking for a job. But she would be paying loans for the next half of her life. We just can't afford Boston. Sadly, she declined Boston. However, the next day she was accepted to the program at USC which is in the top 20-30 and located in LA. We were both thrilled! But again tuition is a sticking point. I don't know how to emotionally support her in her decision. I want her to make the best choice for her future, but money is an issue. 

@NotAllHere713 I hear you are concerned about supporting your daughter as she makes important decisions about her education. How do you feel when you think about the challenges she may face in finding the right balance between cost and quality?

@ASilentObserver 

I think it is sad that she had to decline attending an institution that she was obviously qualified for, and that would have exposed her to many opportunities in the future, because of money. Honestly, how many people can afford $150,000 tuition? I feel bad for her. I don't want her to spend half of her life, after getting her masters, trying to pay off her loans.  

@NotAllHere713 yeah i understand you are concerned about the financial burden that your friend may face due to the high cost of the institution. 

@ASilentObserver Hi there Obs,

A difficult life situation I am going through right now is being dismissed from the COM. I am pending the appeal decision from the dean and am hoping for something positive, but I am not sure what is going to happen. I feel like i deserve the degree because I put in the work and went above and beyond despite my own disabilities and struggles. It is quite upsetting...

:(

@sincerePlane4053 It sounds like you are feeling uncertain about your future as you wait for the appeal decision regarding your dismissal from the College of Medicine. You have worked hard and made significant efforts despite facing challenges related to your disabilities. How has this experience impacted your self-worth?

@ASilentObserver it has made me feel like I have to be stronger than others to discern that I am worthy of specific things in life that I deem fit.

@ASilentObserver

One difficult life situation I'm facing right now is humility vs humiliation.

It's so hard to notice and prioritize working on general humility vs humiliation.

My ego only wants to be in some idealistic and perfect life and world.

This can spin me into panic and a judgemental and critical internal cycle.

Learning more about all this with tools and skills is helping me.

@communicativePond1728

Interesting struggle. I believe there is a lot on humility in daoist philosophy. I've read the 'dao de jing'. Found it pretty helpful for ego issues!

@Hans7cups I've read/listened to it often. Maybe will revisit it today. 

@ASilentObserver  the loss of my dog. it's been difficult summer that is for sure

@ASilentObserver Being unemployed and being out of the job market for so long.

@ASilentObserver I just feel like I fail at everything. Everything I've tried has failed. I'm underemployed, my entrepreneurial ventures don't take off/gain traction, I am lonely and don't have any relationship prospects at all, even though I think I'm attractive. I don't get any matches on dating apps, which I think is unusual for a woman... but maybe not a Black woman. It wasn't always like this. I used to be a lot more successful, about 5 years ago. Now I'm just a sad, lonely lady with no friends, little money, and a complete lack of satisfaction with life... no direction.