Weekly Prompt #23: What are the common negative self talk phrases that you often find yourself saying?
Welcome back, group! I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: Depression Questions & Answers Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts and questions for discussion. They were thought-provoking questions and thoughts. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you
This week's prompt: What are the common negative self-talk phrases that you often find yourself saying? Are these thoughts helping or hindering your progress?
Negative self-talk can be a challenging habit to break. It can drain our confidence, hinder our progress, and create a cycle of negativity in our lives. But with the right support and tools, we can begin to reframe our negative self-talk and cultivate a more positive mindset. Please know all thoughts and experiences are valid so no matter how small or big it seems, do share with us and we will discuss our thoughts on it together.
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No matter how much I try, I'll never be enough. I'll never be anyone's first choice. I'll never feel wanted. I'll forever be a nobody. There's no point in trying. I'm a failure...
...and other hilarious things I tell myself every day.
@pluckyOcean9581 It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings of not being good enough. Those thoughts can be really hard to live with every day. What helps you cope when you're feeling this way, even if a bit?
If it's something work-related I sometimes just accept that I'm not going to finish my task in time, but there's still that lingering fear that I may get in trouble if it happens too much.
If it's something more personal like feeling bad about not doing any of my hobbies anymore or not trying to improve myself in any way then the only thing I can really do is to just zone out. I either play a video game or just mindlessly watch YouTube, or both at the same time. Anything to just stop thinking about it.
@ASilentObserver "No one would miss you if you were gone. You have no meaning here." You have no one and nothing to life for." Sorry if this is harsh.
I have so many and they so often just take over. That I am broken, hopeless, worthless, just a burden for everyone around. That I just ruin Whatever I come into contact with. I know it hinders me but I somehow can't stop it.
@ASilentObserver
Age probably fixes a lot of things. There were things I used to blame myself for which now feel quite ridiculous. By now I tend to be a tad forgetful but I am not sure if I should blame myself for it. Same thing with having to handle administrative/financial responsibilities. I am scared stiff that I am going to uncover new issues and the internet does not seem to make those any easier or even faster. I was blaming myself for it until last week, when the mid-thirties tech who fixed my laptop told me he felt the same way.
@Fradiga Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have realized with age that certain things you once blamed yourself for may not have been entirely within your control. How does that new perspective make you feel now?
@ASilentObserver
I am way more at peace with myself.
@ASilentObserver
What if it doesn't work out? There are a few changes that are going on in my life and the next few months are a bit of a mystery. I know the unknown can be scary but I also know I can't live in fear of it. If it doesn't work out then I will figure out something that will.
@CherryBerryPie I can relate Cherry. It sounds like there is some uncertainty ahead which can feel unsettling. You have a wise perspective in knowing that you cannot live in fear, and recognizing your ability to figure things out. Maintaining hope and focusing on the present moment are helpful strategies. we are all here with you to listen to and to support.
The unknown can be terrifying for many people. I think as humans, we usually like to be comfortable and know what’s coming next so we can be properly prepared. I recently read/heard somewhere that we can’t be comfortable all the time, if we want to grow and become the best versions of ourselves, we have to do things that may make us uncomfortable and explore the unknown. I thought that was immensely helpful. ☺️
@ASilentObserver
useless, a waste of resources.
@Gettingbettertoday I am sorry to hear that, today. It sounds like you have been experiencing some difficult self-talk. You mentioned feeling like a waste - may I ask what brought you to feel that way?
@ASilentObserver
Growing up being told you were not good enough, Bullying, and being discounted.
@ASilentObserver
Hey Obs! Thanks for starting this self-reflective forum thread. I really appreciate the effort you've put into creating a space for us to delve into our inner thoughts and feelings. It's incredible to see people like you taking the time to explore themselves on a deeper level. Self-reflection is such a valuable practice that helps us grow, learn, and gain a better understanding of who we truly are. The following are examples of my most troublesome negative self-talk phrases:
- "That person will abandon you soon. How come you didn't notice the signs earlier? Now, you look pathetic and weak": This unhealthy thought enters my mind when I sense neglect or a lack of attention from my loved ones. My rumination does not get too extreme with people whom I do not know very well, but it significantly impacts my perception of someone. Although this can unbearable at times, I try to reduce them by reading affirmation phrases out loud in front of the mirror. This technique provides me with a wider perspective of my internal battle and allows me to resolve it calmly without lashing out at the other person.
- "You were so productive last week. Now, all I can see of you is procrastination and carelessness. What is going on with you?": On occasional days that I am unable to accomplish many tasks, I get faced with inevitable shame and a feeling of irresponsibility. In order to avert from these thoughts, I give myself a break to understand the reasons behind my procrastination and writing a motivating letter to myself. This gives me room for self-assessment and patience on myself.
- "Look, you just made another mistake. Are you proud of yourself?": I have always struggled with perfectionism, so I was taught that mistakes are ladders to failure. When my subconscious asks me this rhetorical question, I answer it with a "yes." I am proud of myself for making a mistake because it helps me identify my weaknesses and strengths. Other individuals may not have the same mindset as me, but I enjoy admitting to my mistakes because I get motivated to continue walking on the path of improvement.
- "Why would you express your vulnerabilities to someone? It makes you weak that you are not bottling up your problems like you used to": I have acknowledged that vulnerabilities exist deep within each of us, but trying to eliminate them to appear mentally invincible will deteriorate my mental health. Healing is all about accepting myself instead of attempting to restrain my imperfections.
By approaching these thoughts with sensibility and acceptance, I have learned the power of experience and positive affirmation statements. It may be a challenging journey, but I promised myself to fight any obstacles that may come along the way. I believe in everyone's ability to do so. I wish all of you the best of luck. Thank you, and have a lovely day! 😁💖✨
@crypticwhisperss1 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with negative self-talk. It takes courage and self-awareness to examine these inner voices. I appreciate your willingness to reflect deeply and develop strategies like affirmations and self-compassion to counteract unhelpful thoughts. You have a growth mindset. It takes courage and awareness to examine our self-talk. You are wise Whisper and we are all rooting for you
@ASilentObserver
"Zut alors" or "ah merde" comes to mind. Forgetfulness is usually the reason. I apologize where I should, but don't blame myself.
@ASilentObserver I often tell myself that I am being whiney in my depression. That I’m a burden on others. That I should be better. That I shouldn’t allow my emotions and sensitivities to get the best of me like I do. I wonder why anyone would want to hang out with me, and I picture them thinking I am annoying or too much. I tell myself I am weak. I tell myself I am alone. I tell myself I should never build a family because what if I get into a dark episode - I don’t want it to affect a husband or kids. I tell myself I am too mentally-messy to date anyone. Why would anyone want to date me anyway, if they got to see my lowest days?
@ASilentObserver I am stupid because I can't do what I am supposed to do. I am a broken goods because I can't give what I am supposed to give and can't enjoy what I am supposed to enjoy. People in my past broke me and it cannot be mend anymore.
And no, it's not making me feel any better, of course it's not helping my progress in any way. But it is how it is. It's how loving with traumas and grief is like. It can be beautiful and sometimes you are even able to enjoy it but you are still and be forever broken.
@mish3l Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It sounds like you have gone through difficult experiences that have left deep impacts. Focusing on perceived flaws can make the pain feel inescapable, but you are so much more than how others may have treated you or what you feel unable to do.