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I almost attempted again.

compassionateOak202 April 4th, 2023
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Today, I lost myself again after making so much progress just a month ago since my last mental crisis. I almost attempted to overdose myself with pills alone in a bedroom until my boyfriend and sister called. I immediately got stressed and lost it over a small financial mistake with my mom and I thought she was mad at me and end up feeling not good enough and hopeless.

Fortunately my situation was averted. I already reached out to Crisis afterwards. I just feel exhausted now from this mishap I created.

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bestVase7265 April 5th, 2023
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You didn't create a mishap. You had a crisis moment that is bound to be exhausting as you recover from it.

You will figure out how to keep those things that are smaller from becoming life threatening. It just takes lots of time, patience, and a good support network.

Sending lots of peace and strength tonight. @compassionateOak202

compassionateOak202 OP April 5th, 2023
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thank you for your response. ❤️

bestVase7265 April 5th, 2023
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I mean it. Feel free to come back to this thread at any time. I only answer once a day but I am pretty regular. @compassionateOak202

bestVase7265 April 11th, 2023
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How have things been going? @compassionateOak202

compassionateOak202 OP April 11th, 2023
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@bestVase7265

I've been okay today, thank you for checking up on me. I just finished writing up my new monthly reflection here if you want to read. 😊

bestVase7265 April 12th, 2023
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I enjoyed reading it. It can really be a roller coaster ride sometimes, but you are becoming a better rider slowly but surely.

It sounds like you have lots of great plans in place to begin feeling better.

It is always a day at a time. Feel free to come to this thread any time to chat. I only check once a day, but I am pretty regular. @compassionateOak202

compassionateOak202 OP April 12th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 Thank you, I really appreciate what you've said. I've been devoting my time reflect and write my experiences so that I can remember what I've been through and look back at them from time to time and learn from it.

It's been hard for the first few weeks since I started seeking help, even without professional services since I don't have the funds right now. I'll have to see how I am 2 months from today if I still need to seek therapy then. But so far, coming back here has helped me learn more a lot about myself in addition to my recovery program.

bestVase7265 April 16th, 2023
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I apologize profusely for not checking in earlier. I am truly very regular here, but my son was in a play for the last 4 days and I haven't had a chance to do anything except deal with that. It is a long story. I promise that will be back tomorrow night to answer more completely.@compassionateOak202

compassionateOak202 OP April 16th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 no worries! I'm honestly really grateful that you're checking up on me. If you want, you can catch up in my other thread that I've been frequently updating, which is my One-Line-A-Day Journal. :)

bestVase7265 April 17th, 2023
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It is really quite the journey, isn't it? It sounds like you are doing a great job with everything actually. It is never smooth or linear, but you are learning about yourself. Keep up the good work. You can decide later if you need more help, but you are connecting to good people here.@compassionateOak202

compassionateOak202 OP April 17th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 thank you so much. I am indeed truly grateful to be here and meet people who are very supportive like you. :)

bestVase7265 April 18th, 2023
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One day at a time. Let us know when you have a hard one.@compassionateOak202

Know1Knows April 12th, 2023
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@compassionateOak202

ive been like this before, I just had a relapse again and I feel horrible. It’s also the middle of the night which doesn’t help. I’ve tried so hard and I just ruined it again. But sometimes we have to keep going with our lives and don’t bother the people who don’t care. And it’s ok to get help as well.

compassionateOak202 OP April 12th, 2023
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@Know1Knows thank you responding and also for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you had to go through that recently.

And yes, it’s true that we’ll eventually have to move on and live our lives without dwelling on those who are no longer part of our journey. I hope I can move on from mine.