Feeling disconnected

@determinedHemlock9877 Hey! I am new here too. I guess my first question would be what's draining you? Is it what is giving you anxiety and triggering the panic attacks? Or is it the actual panic attacks themselves? And I can also relate if you say both. I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks in the past and it's not fun at all. I think it might be worth doing whatever you enjoy for self-care first, especially after experiencing a panic attack. Me personally, I like to take a nice long bath and relax. I also remember when I was getting anxiety really bad, that afterwards I'd feel so depleted physically and emotionally that I really couldn't do a whole that for a few days. I'd get hit with a wall of depression in the aftermath and could do nothing but lay down. And then when I'd suddenly "snap out of it," I'd get hit with a wave a new anxiety because I spent so much time laying down and not doing anything I was supposed to have gotten done. It's a very vicious cycle.

My advice to you would be to figure out self-care that works for you and is manageable. Also try to identify what's triggering the anxiety and see if you can mitigate some of those things or minimize the magnitude they have on you in some way. Also, try working on "embracing the rot." Two panic attacks in a day is a lot for any human being. It's perfectly normal and natural that you're exhausted and need rest. Try to set a limit on your rot period though, whatever works for you. Like allow yourself the time to "rot" and recover, because that's self-care. And because you're managing it, by setting a limit for the "rotting period" you're the one in control of it. It's not in control of you.

This is really great advice. I definitely felt exhausted by the attacks. My energy was completely zapped and I have a little one too. I felt disconnected from anything that I would have normally done that makes me happy because of the despair I was feeling afterward. It felt like I just had no control. I am talking through it all and finding my way little by little by first like you said taking time to just sit and be. Hubby watched our little one to give me time to rest. I too felt the guilt of “sitting around” but I needed it. It really helped because i had time to come on here and use this resource to not only receive help but be a help as well. I will absolutely keep what you’ve said in mind and keep taking steps to allow myself to be balanced so that the anxiety doesn’t take over. One step at a time! Thank you!!!

Society tells us that resting is wrong but it isn't. It is what we need to heal. We need space and time otherwise panic attacks happen. This is especially true if you are caring for little ones. Never feel guilty about taking time off. Remember that thing about putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting others? It applies here. @determinedHemlock9877

Very true. I have been working on saying yes to myself for a while now and every bit of encouragement helps me to keep it up as needed. Thank you!

No problem. Are you getting outside at all? Sometimes a regular, physical connection with nature helps calm down your soul a bit. @determinedHemlock9877

I am. I was still feeling raw and didn’t think I’d be able to do any of the things I would normally do to keep me in a calm place. I was able to go ahead and run a quick errand today and have a normal day with my little one. I felt bad that I was basically falling a part the other day and she had to see that. She was my little sunshine through it and I’m grateful. I’m glad I got some fresh air today though. I had anxious thoughts creep up but I literally just stopped and took some breaths and remembered not to listen to the negative thoughts because they aren’t true. I went to use one of my tools that help me to feel seen and heard in the moment and it gave me what I needed to keep going. I felt like my tools weren’t working before because I was like, “ why am I back in this dark place again?” But I felt pulled to use them again and it was just what I needed. I can’t explain it but I feel different after the past two days before today. I am questioning things more but I think it’s because I have to learn to trust myself. I have always had to go with the crowd never really following my own way because of religion mostly. It’s not until now that I’m slowly finding out who I am. I’m thinking that is part of what had me feeling disconnected. I’m figuring it out as I go. Thankful for Hubby’s support in all of this. I text him throughout the day while he’s at work and he checks up on me. So I have the support I need in that way and here in this community, thankfully.

You are doing a great job. Finding the way to the new you takes time, space and courage. Your daughter seeing that is actually a good thing. She will learn to be brave and resilient from watching you struggle and succeed. @determinedHemlock9877

Wow I never thought of it that way bestVase. Thank you for that. I know that she will have her own challenges as she goes through life and I want her to know she can make it. She has yo see me reach out and continue to believe in myself in spite of heavy feelings. It’s not always easy. This morning I just want to cry. I feel so bad because I’m my head I feel like I’m expected to just be ok already. I’m working through a mind set that I grew up with where you’re basically not allowed to not be ok. It wasn’t intentional but that’s just the way we functioned. After over 30 years of that I have to practice catching when I’m in that mind set so that I can change it. I have to give myself time.

You are right. A lot of it is just time and patience. They are two of the hardest things in life to come by. @determinedHemlock9877

Yep and it’s all because we have a hard time allowing ourselves the time and patience because we are listening to the programed negative voice instead of the voice of love and compassion. It seems so much louder and stronger at times. Someone said today though that it’s like a big thunderstorm, they’re loud and scary and seem like they’ll last forever but they always pass.

Very true. It sounds like this particular storm is already starting to pass a bit for you. @determinedHemlock9877

Yeah, I’m continuing to use my tools to keep me out of my head. It’s when I start thinking into things that trigger me that it turns into heavy anxiety. So I’m paying attention to that now and letting myself know that I have to stop identifying with the negative story of the mind and stay in my heart space. I’m also telling myself now how strong and resilient I am. Like really encouraging myself like I would for other people. It’s so easy for me to be other people’s cheering section. I’m choosing to do that for me. That and trust that I am being guided through this entire process.

That is absolutely why I get on here each night and encourage people. It helps me to better create that language to talk to myself. @determinedHemlock9877

For real I completely agree. I’ve heard that teaching but experientially, it’s true- give the thing you want to receive. We all just want to be loved accepted and understood. It takes us being there for one another any way we can. You taking the time to encourage me helps me so much. The work you and so many of us are doing is extremely important. Just to help people feel like they can keep going. I hope that you receive that as much as you are giving it and more.

It makes me glad when people start doing a little better. Keep up the good work. @determinedHemlock9877

@determinedHemlock9877 Hello and welcome! 🥰 It's really brave of you to reach out and share how you're feeling. Many of us have experienced moments of feeling drained and disconnected, and it's absolutely okay to feel that way. Remember that self-care is essential, and taking time to rest and pause is not a sign of weakness, but rather a way to recharge. Impatience can be challenging, but practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to heal at your own pace can make a difference. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and seek support, whether through therapy, mindfulness techniques, or talking to understanding friends. You're not alone in this, and with time, patience, and the right strategies, you can find your way back to a sense of balance and well-being. Sending you warmth and understanding on your journey.💞

Definitely using those tools and more. It has been an interesting week with a lot of conversations and a lot of reading, listening to good teaching and gaining a newer perspective on the importance of self care. Thank you for your encouragement and support. ❤️

Thank you for your words. They are confirming and bring added clarity. I gave myself a day yesterday to literally do nothing. Like to just totally decompress. I wanted to go out and all that the day prior but it was like no… just give yourself a day. I watched an animated show the entire day and it was a great distraction. Today I prayed and asked my guides and angels to give me assurance that all is well and practiced commanding (in a humble but centered manner) peace into my home, mind and body. I had some insight come in about how the whole day has gone and it showed me that my decisions especially reaching out (whether it’s to my family friends or other resources like this or to my spiritual team) always pushes me forward in some way. I also had the inkling to pick the course I am taking back up because funny enough it seems to be very much a part of what I have been experiencing lately. I understand that when we embark on something important and a part of our soul blue print the ego mind can attempt to distract so that we don’t grow. The way I’m seeing it is that anxiety and depression are some of the worst tools the ego mind uses to challenge us because it can make you feel completely debilitated. But I sought solace in where my heart was leading me each day. Each day I reached out in a different way and it has taken me step by step forward through the toughest moments.

my biggest motivation is my little one and my marriage. I have experienced the trauma of my parents going through divorce at a very young age. I experienced brokenness and disfunction and I and my siblings declared we would break that cycle. I am doing it for me so that I can be free and know that I am not a victim to ANY of my experiences- not one of them! I understand that each one was a part of my journey and it is not just for me. It is so that I can leave a positive impact in the world in the ways that have been placed on my heart. I am grateful to share in this journey in this way and grateful for every single step forward. Love light and blessings we all who read through this thread.

Here’s to taking a break when we need to, giving ourselves time to adjust and discover, and healing together!

@determinedHemlock9877

Oh no let me help you. I am here for you and everyone. Xx

I just a click away.

@determinedHemlock9877Spend time with those that love you and make you feel alive and comfortable. You need some me time.