I feel really depressed & I’m not sure what to do
I have had a rough life the last 4 years. One thing after another kept happening.
To start off, I lost my cat. She had a tumor that was cancerous and they couldn’t save her 😭 I miss her so much.
Then my spouses sister came into our lives. He hadn’t seen her in years. She is a devious pile of 💩. She caused major problems in our life and marriage. My husband almost divorced me because of things she did and tried to pull.
Shortly after this, I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled but worried. I made a doctors appointment and a few month’s later, I went. Just to find out that the baby stopped growing and was not the size it should have been for how far along I was. I ended up having a miscarriage 😭 I waited for 12 years to finally get pregnant again. This devastated me.
About a month or so passed and my husband and I were talking. And for some odd reason, I decided to ask him if he cheated on me again because my gut was telling me he did. He cheated on me once before we got married with one of his ex girlfriends. He asked me where this came from and I told him I have had this feeling for awhile and I needed to know. He came out and told me he had indeed cheated again. Not just once, but twice making it a total of 3 times. Those 2 other times, they were also with 2 more ex girlfriend’s of his. They both initiated it fully knowing who I was and that we are married. Those last 2 times it happened, we were already married. This killed me inside and it still does. My heart shatters every time I think about it. And I try not to, but it pops back in my mind. I stayed with him (we have a child together) and I’m still hurt by what he did to me. I can’t figure out why he did it. And of course I feel like it was my fault.
Then I ended up losing my dad. He passed away without me ever getting to say goodbye. It was an unexpected death. This has taken a huge toll on me. I miss him. It’s hard to believe I will never see him again.
All in between these 4 years, not only did I lose my dad, but I also lost about 20 more people in my life to death. They were friends and family members.
Then last year, I lost my dog. She got really sick and the vet couldn’t get her well. 😢
Lately, my husband has been treating me like garbage. His demeanor towards me has changed. He has not been the nicest person to me. I’m not sure what his problem is, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve been to hell and back in the last 4 years. It has taken the worst kind of toll on me. I’m not happy. I’m broken. Thank you for taking the time to read this….that’s if anyone does ☹️
We would surely do read.. and i feel really broken after reading this.
There is no way that it was your mistake in this in any way because it was his choice to do so, and if in any way he tries to blame you for this then he is really not man enough.
I dont want to sound rude.
You know, nothing stays with you forever, and loosing loved ones has to be faced by everyone which is simply to be accepted. I know it hurts, but somethings cannot be changed or stopped.
And for how your husband is treating you, then only thing i can say is that you deserve way better than this. Its his part of karma that he is mugging up his fate with negativity.
You should really think about yourself and your child right now and really should stand for yourself.
I believe in you, because if you can share it with us then you have strength and you can do this❤️❤️
Thank you so much for replying. Honestly I shared it because all of this has been bottled up inside of me and it has been part of what is taking a toll on me. It’s hard keeping this all in, but I have no one to talk to. The people I thought were my “friends” turned out not to be. They turned their back on me, especially when I really needed someone when my dad passed away. Not a single one of them bothered to even contact me to see if I was ok. And the family members I thought that would be there for me were not.
No worries, you didn’t sound rude. And I do understand that death is a part of life and that it can’t be stopped, I just meant that in a very short period of time, I lost 20+ in my life. It was a very unusual high number. It was blow after blow on top of everything that I am going through. Most of the people who passed were just taken way too soon. They were younger. Even though it still hurt, I understood that a few of them had health problems and that was their cause of death. The others passed away suddenly with no warning and not really anything wrong with them. It was awful.
In my heart, I know I didn’t cause my husband to cheat. I did everything for him and treat him with respect and take care of what I need to. It was his choice, and his choice alone. Being the person I am though, I just some how wonder what went wrong. He says he was just young and stupid and he hasn’t done it again, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about him doing it, you know? It sucks to have this inside of me and it making me feel the way I do. Honestly, if I left I would not even know what to do with myself. He’s not the only one who cheated on me. I had three boyfriends back in the day (at different times of course) who also cheated on me. I can’t trust. And It honestly seems like it’s the thing to do nowadays with A LOT of people. Barely anyone wants to stay faithful anymore. I am younger, but my belief is old fashioned. I believe in only being with one person. I believe in staying faithful in a relationship or a marriage. When you make a commitment to someone, it should be to that person and that person only. Again, these are my beliefs and I know not everyone feels this way. I know men and women both cheat, but I’ve personally been around more men that cheat, than women. And I guess that is bad because those are the people that I hang around. And I will make it clear that I just mean the people I hang around, not in general as I know some people may take this the wrong way if they read it.
It is a really great decision that you decided to share it with us, because bottling up your emotions only suffocates you.
I may not be able to completely understand your situation because i have not been through it, but all i can is that you have been very strong and courageous it stand till the time.
I am able to think of anything more than just sharing and expressing yourself to us.
❤️❤️
Thank you so much. It sure does. Keeping everything inside does some damage.
Thank you. I try to be strong. Lately I feel as though I am failing at being strong. Maybe it is because I’ve been through so much and I just don’t know how to handle much more.
Thank you again for replying. I’m glad someone did. 💜
You have been really strong, it is just the side effect of bottling up that you think you are failing. But no, i guess you need to realise that it has been you who has been through so much, and is still strong.
A bit of distraction might help you. Try to go out for a walk find interests and distractions from your home so that when he is not their you find happiness and joy to balance .
And your most welcome, i would really love to reply to you and listen. I guess it is helping me too.
So now add up to your list that you are even helping someone🤗🤗❤️
I try seeing it that way, but I guess I just see all my failure’s like you said. I feel like I failed myself, my husband, my child. I feel like I failed in life at so many things.
I try to do many things when I’m able to that keep me distracted. I love taking walks, painting, reading, drawing, crafting. While I take joy in those things, nothing feels right to me anymore. I think there is just so much wrong with my feelings that I am not myself any more.
Things with my husband were so good for a long time, then it started all over again with being bad. Just today he got home after I did and he brings up a subject that we spoke about a few days ago. And he starts the fight all over again. It’s about an issue with him going out and hanging out with some guys from work, but come to find out, girls were invited too. First he tells me I would be going with him, now he is trying to pretty much tell me I will be bored so he doesn’t want me to go. Then he gets mad at me for asking about him saying he wanted me to go at first. Sorry, but sounds a little suspicious to me. While I trust him (even though there is still a lil hesitancy because of all he did to me throughout the years), I learned that I can’t just go around trusting every female. I learned that the hard way.
Thank you. You put a smile on my face tonight. I’ve honestly been in a bad mood and really upset over all of these things. I am glad I am helping you. And you helped me by being the only one to read my problems and answer me back. I will never forget that 🤗 ❤️
@BeautifulAndBroken2022
You really are a survivor!!
And you are right at your place.
I think you should consult a therapist, because this is so unfair happening with you. I really wish i could have done something that would have helped you to come out of this situation.
I pray to god to stop being unfair with you.
❤️❤️
Thank you. I don’t feel like survived anything. I feel like I’m falling deeper. I really can’t stand all this stuff that is going on right now. It’s killing me 😢
I try to talk to my husband and ask him why he is this way towards me, and he just turns it back on me and comes at me with some mean retort. I don’t understand why I love someone so much who is so awful towards me 😭
Maybe I should talk to a therapist, but I’m just not sure. I’ve heard some bad things about some that obviously have been weighing my decision on seeing one.
i wish and pray myself that god will lighten the load of things I have on me right now. I can’t do this.
Thank you for praying for me ❤️❤️❤️
You should really try a therapist it would help.
I seriously cant see you like this.
It hurts a lot when you love someone and they treat you so bad.
💗💗
@crimsonSea5594
I am thinking about it.
It does hurt very bad. The one person I thought who would never treat me this way is and it’s killing me.
Thank you so much for talking with me and being the one answering me. You have been a light in my darkness. I can’t express my gratitude enough to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thankyou so much, its an honour for me to make someone feel this way.
I just really think about how people can be so rude towards the person that loves them. Comparing it to me, if would have been at his place i would really thanked you everyday for your loving efforts for me.
I would love to make you feel better and comfortable in your dark times.
I hope that you see the positive light really soon ❤️❤️
You’re welcome :) I’m glad you have helped me.
I will never understand why and how someone can be so cruel to someone they love. I could never! Even after all he did to me, I forgave him and I loved him with all my heart and soul anyways. I love him unconditionally. He cheated on me 3 times, and I didn’t walk away. That’s part of the love I have for him. I treat him well. I do everything for him, yet I got treated in the worst way from him. ☹️
Thank you. I appreciate that very much. I hope so I too! 💜
Can I ask what brings you to 7 cups?
Suree..
My life.. the up and downs, the things i feel and mostly the same reason that everyone is here. Problems which disturb you mentally.
💗💗
I’m sorry. If you ever need to let anything out, I’m here just like you have been for me. 🙂💜
You know, I get life is not easy- it’s life and things happen. I always wonder though why some have it easier than others. I know some people would say that is not true, but I wholeheartedly believe it is. I don’t know a single person that has went through everything that I have. And it doesn’t let up. Things just keep piling on. It’s not fair, and I get that life is not fair. It’s just I need a break. For almost 5 years straight I have been hit harder than anyone can imagine. If someone stepped foot in my shoes, they would wonder how I survived all this. And I would understand it more if it were things I could control- but not a single ounce of this was anything that I could.
