I feel really depressed & I’m not sure what to do
I have had a rough life the last 4 years. One thing after another kept happening.
To start off, I lost my cat. She had a tumor that was cancerous and they couldn’t save her 😭 I miss her so much.
Then my spouses sister came into our lives. He hadn’t seen her in years. She is a devious pile of 💩. She caused major problems in our life and marriage. My husband almost divorced me because of things she did and tried to pull.
Shortly after this, I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled but worried. I made a doctors appointment and a few month’s later, I went. Just to find out that the baby stopped growing and was not the size it should have been for how far along I was. I ended up having a miscarriage 😭 I waited for 12 years to finally get pregnant again. This devastated me.
About a month or so passed and my husband and I were talking. And for some odd reason, I decided to ask him if he cheated on me again because my gut was telling me he did. He cheated on me once before we got married with one of his ex girlfriends. He asked me where this came from and I told him I have had this feeling for awhile and I needed to know. He came out and told me he had indeed cheated again. Not just once, but twice making it a total of 3 times. Those 2 other times, they were also with 2 more ex girlfriend’s of his. They both initiated it fully knowing who I was and that we are married. Those last 2 times it happened, we were already married. This killed me inside and it still does. My heart shatters every time I think about it. And I try not to, but it pops back in my mind. I stayed with him (we have a child together) and I’m still hurt by what he did to me. I can’t figure out why he did it. And of course I feel like it was my fault.
Then I ended up losing my dad. He passed away without me ever getting to say goodbye. It was an unexpected death. This has taken a huge toll on me. I miss him. It’s hard to believe I will never see him again.
All in between these 4 years, not only did I lose my dad, but I also lost about 20 more people in my life to death. They were friends and family members.
Then last year, I lost my dog. She got really sick and the vet couldn’t get her well. 😢
Lately, my husband has been treating me like garbage. His demeanor towards me has changed. He has not been the nicest person to me. I’m not sure what his problem is, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve been to hell and back in the last 4 years. It has taken the worst kind of toll on me. I’m not happy. I’m broken. Thank you for taking the time to read this….that’s if anyone does ☹️