2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: Almost everyone has felt like they are not good enough for someone at some point in their lives. It may seem that are a better person than you in different aspects, and you may begin to compare yourself to them. Our inner critic gives us different reasons why we do not deserve to be with that person, and sometimes this may be due to past trauma that has resulted to a low self-esteem.

As a child growing up, our parents may have compared us to other people's children, or we may have had a partner who always pointed out our flaws, sometimes it may even be the influence of social media. Social media tends to show people who have amazing lives, who have achieved things we never have. This can bring down a person's self-worth.

Mark Twain once said, "The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself''. While it is simply human to give into self-doubt and indulge in negative self-talk sometimes, it is important to remember that the only person who is always going to be there, is you.

A simple exercise would be to look around you, and list the strengths of those you love or care about. Imagine them saying they are not good enough for you, and repeat the response you would say to them to yourself. We are usually kinder to other people than we are to ourselves. By replacing the negative voice in your head with self-love, you will realize that simply because you exist, you are good enough.

Here is a blog where the writer shares her personal experiences of not feeling good enough, and how they overcome that:

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/

@SoulfullyAButterfly Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Not feeling good enough for someone, is something many of us has went through our whole life. Having this constant nagging feeling of our inner critic makes us keep on focusing on our negative self talk, instead of having a good time with our loved ones. Usually our feelings of inadequacy stems from having in having low self worth and self-esteem which results in self doubt and lack of self-confidence.

The good news out of this is that, anyone can overcome this feeling. The first step, albeit a hard one, is to find the real reason of your emotion. Not having a healthy relationship with our family or other family members when we were children is usually a common reason for having low self worth and confidence in ourself. The best way to unravel the reason is investing in therapy, as it can help you figure out the why's of your feelings, and then find a solution to overcome it.

Studies have shown that overuse of Social Media is linked with insecurity and lowered self-worth. Which shows that avoiding social media, or using it at the optimal level is a great solution to overcome our feelings of inadequacy. For us human beings, social comparison is a common happenstance that takes place in every culture. The often picture perfect lifestyle shown in social media can lower your confidence, as you get unconsciously dragged into an online peer pressure where you have to strive for something beyond your level to get accepted by many.

Practicing self love, is a crucial step to cross, whilst intending to get over our fear of never being enough. Affirmations, having an open minded communication with your Partner or loved ones about your feelings instead of suppressing them, journaling, etc. , are notable methods to practice self love. Not matter where you're from and what you have went through, you are an amazing person that's capable of great things. Therefore, its better to focus on becoming a better person instead on the emotion that makes you feel bad about yourself.

Now that all these are read and understood, its worthy to note that the entire process can't be accomplished in a single day it takes self awareness and a paramount of patience to overcome the habit of our negative voice. This, however shouldn't demotivate you .Because at the end of the day, the person who spends the rest of the time with yourself, is you. That's all the more reason to love and treat yourself better, which includes not being harsh on ourself. As that is the right thing to do.

Good luck !

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Before judging yourself blindly , first step is to find the root cause of this problem.

This kind of thinking stems from the childhood where a person is overly criticized by their parents or family members and never been appreciated. So, the person never learnt to established a healthy level of self confidence.

Over the time, they keep on self doubting and this affects other areas of your life as well like in relationships, their self-esteem, work etc.

Now how can we model such kind of negative self-talk ?

> Take external help like therapy, sometimes its good to learn to see things from different perspective and a therapist can guide you to shift the perspective to a healthier side which helps you to become a better person.

> Identify the areas where you feel you are less confident and work on it. I have learnt this from my own experience, every time I overcome a challenge its boosted my self confidence to a great extent.

> Learn to do things which makes you happy. Another best way to boost your self esteem is to do things which makes you happy and fulfilled.

> Always remember before trying to have healthy relationship with others, first you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Know your self-worth and prioritize your well being first. If you are not happy with yourself , then how can you keep others happy. Your inner joy and peace reflects in the outside world.

> Most important point above all, self-love is the key to all so accept who you are and learn to love all of you. Trust yourself that you are an amazing person.

We all have inner-critic but you need to learn a till what extent you are going to listen to that voice.

At the end of the day, we all are human beings so go easy on yourself. Its okay to make mistakes and its a best way to learn things.

When I was younger, I had a best friend who I thought was perfect. She always got the best grades, excelled in sports, and was well-liked by everyone she met. Compared to her, I felt worthless. I saw all of her great achievements, and my brain decided that because I could never be as "good" as her, I wasn't even worthy enough to be her friend.

By comparing myself to her all the time, my self-esteem and self-worth suffered. I was unable to see the great things I offered to the world--like my sense of humor, or my passion for writing. My inner critic reduced the power of my positive qualities by placing them against an impossible standard.

And unfortunately, my story isn't unique! So many people feel that they'll never measure up--whether its a long-term relationship with romantic partner, children under the pressure of their parents or other family members, or even strangers on social media. As human beings, we are programmed to pit ourselves against those that surround us.

But the good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. Here are three things that helped me, and maybe they can help you too! <3

- First, realize that those that the people we compare ourselves to often share the same self-doubt that we do. The friend I mentioned earlier opened up to me about how she had to constantly be "perfect" in order to keep up with the expectations placed upon her by her family, and her mental health suffered because of it. I never realized that she was dealing with the exact same cycles of negative self-talk that I was. It helped me put things into perspective.

-Second, challenge the thoughts of self-doubt as they enter your brain. Too often, we automatically accept critical thoughts as reality, when that might not even be the case. If your inner voice says, "you're not smart enough for them" or "you will never be pretty enough for them"--question that thought. Where is it coming from? Is it based in fact, or are feelings clouding your view of the truth?

- Third, recognize what makes you an amazing person, because you are. The first step towards self-love is acknowledging and cherishing the great qualities and talents you bring to this world. Because our brains automatically dwell on our more "undesirable" qualities, it's vital that we take the time to compliment ourselves on what we do right. You are worthy of love, and the first person you have to feel good enough for is yourself.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Throughout our journeys as human beings, our self-esteem and self-worth are influenced by the communication and opinions we receive from our parents, family members, less than healthy relationships with partners, and social media. American actress, singer and dancer Judy Garland once said: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else." 🌷 Being yourself and remaining true to who you are is more than enough; it is the best version of yourself. It is our own unique light. It's often that our inner critic falls into a cycle of negative self talk and self doubt. When feeling that you are not good enough for someone, this is only the voice of our inner critic attacking our self-confidence. The best way to cope through these emotions is to know that being authentic is more than enough. It may not always be accepted, but it does not mean it is not good enough. At the end of the day, it does not make you any less of an amazing person if someone is not the right match. Great things and the right things will come to you when remaining true to yourself, this is more than enough ✨️ Good luck with your movements forward, keep in mind that therapy can also provide beneficial information and the best support possible 💙

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: How do paper bags help with panic attacks?

Sometimes when you experience anxiety or panic, your breathing gets out of control. This can lead to lightheadedness, dizziness, or shortness of breath. One way to help calm down is to breathe into a paper bag. Breathing into a paper bag helps to regulate your breathing so that you don't over-breathe during an anxiety or panic attack.

A few other things can help reduce anxiety or boost your oxygen levels when you're feeling stressed or panicked. One of these remedies is deep belly breathing. You can do this by lying down on a sofa, bed, or floor. Another is laying your head down between your knees. Another is holding your breath for 10 to 15 seconds. You can also do deep breathing exercises, like air whistling and deep breathing in and smelling an essential oil or a scent you like. And finally, breathing slowly into your own cupped hands can be very calming.

I have found it helpful to redirect my thoughts to focus on something that makes me happy. I love going to the spa, and I say the word SPAAAAAA as I breathe out during a panic attack.

Here is a great article I found on the topic. https://connect.uclahealth.org/2020/09/16/breathing-into-a-paper-bag-can-calm-anxiety-attack/

Keywords: breathing, deep breathing, oxygen, panic, paper bag, dizzy, air, exercise, calming, stressed, fresh air, smell

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

My answer to the question 💜

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like you are not good enough right now 😔. Negative self-talk and self-doubt are common struggles among nearly everyone. Please know that you are SO not alone in feeling this way.

It is easy to see others in our lives or on social media and their seemingly perfect lives and to judge ourselves harshly for not measuring up. Our self-esteem and self-worth is shattered when we do this, and the comparisons are not even fair when we really think about it.

Even looking at our partners or children, our family members or close friends - do we really know everything about them? There are so many struggles that we don't see, even in those we are closest with. People may be struggling at home, at work, or in their relationships. They may have insecurities, trauma, or other invisible mental battles we so often face alone in the hidden places of our minds.

We are all human. Every one of us. And being human comes with imperfection. But it also comes with inherent value.

You are an amazing person and you have value to this world. Sure, you are imperfect. You struggle. You doubt yourself and fall into the comparison trap. So do I. So do all of us, I think.

But having imperfections doesn't make you less than anyone else. It doesn't make you less valuable or less worthy… or less anything. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that this person that you feel is better than you has insecurities of his or her own.

So my answer to your question - what should I do if I am not good enough for someone? My answer for you - and for all of us is this: realize that you are. You are good enough. Because it's the truth.

💜💜💜

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

When we feel like we’re not good enough for someone, one of the first steps that can be taken is to examine our own self-worth. What is our inner critic saying about us when we think about the other person, be it family members or someone we’re in a relationship with? Is our inner critic saying things that cause self-doubt?

I have good news for you. Once we examine how our inner critic is speaking, if we find that there is a high amount of negative self-talk, we can sit with those thoughts and examine them for cognitive distortions and where the root of the issue really sits. Perhaps we may be catastrophizing, thinking that the worst will happen because we feel that we are not good enough. Perhaps we may be experiencing mental filtering, where we focus too strongly on the negative aspects of a situation, or disqualify the positives by thinking they’re some sort of fluke or simply a matter of luck.

When we take the time to sit and look at the experience as a whole, we give ourselves the space to realize what an amazing person we are. Challenging our cognitive distortions can help boost our self-confidence, and give us a voice, bringing about positive change toward a healthy relationship.

At the end of the day, it is up to us to figure out where our hearts lie, and challenging any cognitive distortions that may exist surrounding a relationship is just one step to take on the road toward a brighter future.