Work Prompt #12: How do you handle conflicts and disagreements in the workplace?
Welcome back all, I hope you are all taking it easy on yourself at work this week.
Last week we discussed: Are you taking care of your well-being? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How do you handle conflicts and disagreements in the workplace?
Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in any workplace. They can arise due to differences in opinions, work styles, or conflicting goals. However, how we handle these conflicts can have a significant impact on the overall productivity, morale, and harmony within the team. Let's discuss and all thoughts, emotions, and experiences are welcome to share.
@ASilentObserver it depends whether the conflict is personal or professional. If it is about personal opinions and stuff unrelated to work then it is not the hill I'm dying on. I always try to see the other person's perspective and achieve a compromise, however when it comes to more personal stuff and I see the topic is starting to head to an inconclusive disagreement I just deflect the topic on something else, especially if the conflict is not relevant to the work at all.
When it comes to work related issues, I try to avoid conflict too by being understanding and supportive, deescalating and validating their feelings and oppinion. I approach it as us against the problem not against each other. Then it depends if we can resolve it or need an unbiased input. I have only been in personal conflict for now, and just a small one where I chose the topic switch tactic and done. But usually, if a conflict isn't resolved (not common, but happened to someone before), my workplace handles it by going to your boss and having a little personal meeting where your boss and the arguing sides are present and you talk it out. Ultimately, the boss will decide what to do with it and their word is the law, they are the boss for a reason and have enough experience to know who should suck it up this time.
@sadcat13 It seems handling conflicts at work can be challenging. Reflecting on others' perspectives and finding understanding is often helpful for resolving issues in a way that works for everyone. You've put thought into approaching disagreements peacefully. How did focusing on compromise and validation make you feel during those experiences?
@ASilentObserver it comes more natural to me. However I get frustrated if the other side has the receptiveness to it of a brick wall
@sadcat13 It is understandable to feel frustrated when compromise is met with resistance. Focusing on understanding each other, even when views differ, takes strength and patience.
How do you handle conflicts and disagreements in the workplace?
It depends on what kind of disagreement it is. I've had it to where coworkers think it's OK to invade my space, such as opening my office door to spy on me while I eat to make sure I'm "working" despite being on lunch break. I reported it to HR and HR did nothing and said since I'm new, the veteran coworker was merely trying to make sure I did my job right. I found that unacceptable.
If you mean disagreement as a minor disagreement on how to do certain things...I just voice my opinion right away. I'm getting too old to bite my tongue. I'll speak my mind. Of course, I will do so courteously...If they are rude to me, I'll will tell them to stop. If they don't, I'll go to management. If management does nothing, I go to H.R. If H.R. does nothing, then I leave the job.
It's as simple as that.
Life is too short to deal with misery caused by others, especially from workplaces.
@ImpudentIncognito I hear you impudent. It sounds like dealing with conflicts at work can be challenging. Handling disagreements respectfully is important for maintaining a positive work environment. How have these experiences affected your overall well-being? I
@ASilentObserver I acquiesce. Like a couple days ago I came back from taking a day off (dr. appointment to hear the results of some tests they did) and discovered that I had looked at the wrong quarterly report and the one I was supposed to do was a week overdue. I explained what happened and said that I went to check the assignment log but couldn't find it.
It was then one of the leads said "Oh we moved it. You don't really need to see it anyway because we send out emails." Things can happen to emails and assignments can change. I get numerous emails a day so I routinely clean out my inbox. I don't like clutter. One email is sent out at the beginning of the month. I'm not going to think to recheck an email fifteen to twenty days down the road when I have constant reports to view.
Then the lead kept hounding me. I went through 150 customer's names yesterday and went in eatly today to work on my time. I had over 200 names once I got done with work today. Didn't get an actual lunch and I'm going to have to work extra to get caught up on the other reports that got delahed because I had to focus on something else.
What was a fairly big annoyance (aside from fixing files that one of the leads routinely gets wrong. I don't get why no one else understands the need for a consistent file naming process. We're dealing with PII -Personal Identifiable Information- and it's something that Audit could question) was that the one who was hovering around me yesterday and today spent two hours chatting with someone from another department.
Why does it seem like I'm constantly in trouble and everyone else gets a free pass? I'm just glad I can listen to my music all day. Now back to the conflict, I do my best to avoid it. I silently yell at my monitor when I come across errors people could easily avoid if they took a few minutes to look at existing documents because if I confront others with it, I'll be in trouble again. They play favorites big time where I work.
@Enthenia Thank you for opening up with us, Enthenia. I'm sensing this work situation is very frustrating for you. It sounds like clear communication and being heard is important. You've mentioned feeling constantly in trouble while others seem to get more leeway. Maintaining your work under these conditions cannot be easy. Your dedication to your work and customers comes through, even when it's not always acknowledged. How do you maintain your motivation in these situations?
@ASilentObserver As I have said before, I am also doing an online degree (should get my latest assignment done today as planned) so there's that. Also the pay is more than what I've made before. I just do my best to ignore a lot and fix things when it affects me but with the file sutuation, it's like beating a dead horse if you pardon the expression. I've mentioned it to supervisors numerous times, managers and even the director in the meeting I had with her in December. They agree for the need of consistency and something should be done but that's where it ends. We have 8k folders now so there's no way I can check every one of them on top of all the other things I have to deal with.
I think the only way for the annoyances will end is to find another post (where I will have new annoyances) but I have to finish my online classes first.
@Enthenia It sounds like you are feeling frustrated with the lack of progress on addressing the issues you've been facing at work. Understandably, you've tried bringing it up multiple times, but it seems like there hasn't been much change. It must be difficult to deal with, especially when you have so many responsibilities and expectations.
@ASilentObserver Well the manager sent out an email because they received the bill from one of the sites we use for background checks. It was the highest ever. I don't know if it will motivate people to pay attention. The site even warns you if a report has been run within two weeks and there's a tab called "Previous Reports" that shows when a report was run (if any) up to two years prior. If changes need to be made in the profile, one can edit the profile. I make mine as complete as possible to lessen the chances of mismatches. I don't know what other people do. I do know that every one that I have found with errors or run two months after another report was run has been the wirk of one person.
Unfortunately, I can't say anything because he's now a supervisor and supervisors know much more than I do and I should never question them (this is what management basically told me over a year ago).
@Enthenia That makes sense. It sounds like you've noticed a pattern in the way the system works.
Oh boy, the timing of me stumbling upon this post is impeccable. I have a big and long-running disagreement with my manager. This has been going on for so long that it is *** the work sunshine out of me.
I am a senior programmer having a different work culture with my manager. I see his culture as unnecessarily aggressive. For instance, an issue that comes up at 4:30PM on a Friday for which our team cannot resolve, he would INSIST that our team look and investigate into it. I, on the other hand, believe that if it is something we cannot fix, no reason to stay up late; wait until the next working day when the people who can actually carry out the fix are available. What we can do is to give them a heads up.
I find this infuriating coming from a manager because it creates a culture of too much running around with very little outcome.
Unfortunately, being a staff, what I think I can only do is look the other way and endure, painfully.
@sensitiveCurrent4744 It sounds like you value taking breaks and prioritizing work over working long hours without accomplishing anything. What are some ways you have successfully addressed this conflict in the past?
Successfully addressed? Zero ways. I have raised this concern to my manager numerous time. Ultimately, it is his word against mine. So conflict resolution success, zero.
I think that I am looking for first is some sort of validation: is my concern reasonable or a waste of time? But of course, I think it is reasonable, my manager thinks it is not. So it is a never ending loop unless a third party is involved.
What do you think?
@sensitiveCurrent4744 It sounds like you've tried addressing this issue through your manager, but the issue persists. You're seeking validation for your concerns, but it's difficult to get a clear resolution without external involvement. How has this ongoing conflict affected you emotionally?
@ASilentObserver
I lean on others for support, but I hate that because of abandonment and control issues and don't like the impersonal way societies and systems work.
I'd rather deal with things alone or be in a relationship where the two of us can help each other...that's where I thrive. I run a lot better that way.
But I may call a helpline, come here and use affirmations and more realistic thinking exercises to keep control over myself as much as possible.
@communicativePond1728 Thank you for sharing, pond. it sounds like you prefer to handle conflicts and disagreements in a more personal and supportive manner. You value independence and self-control when dealing with difficult situations. I appreciate your steps and know we are all here with you to support.
